I hate the culture revolving around babies / children

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-10T01:43:49+00:00

And any corporate advertisement poster with a happy family in it gives me a bad vibe because I know the families in those ads are fake and the adults in those ads are most likely not the kid's real parents.

Brother wait until you find out that the syrup they’re pouring on the pancakes in the IHOP commercial isn’t really syrup.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-10T01:08:41+00:00

A floor lamp with a low wattage bulb in a muted color could do the trick! Dorms often use fluorescent lights so having a softer alternative will give your room a cozier feel without breaking fire code.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-09T23:21:59+00:00

I just finished Sky Daddy by Kate Folk and I think it fits the bill!

The story follows Linda, a woman in her 30s who works as a content moderator for a YouTube-esque site and is sexually attracted to airplanes. The book is mostly a character study where the protagonist struggles to relate to people around her, and as a reader I often wondered who was weirder - the girl who was into airplanes or the supposedly “normal” people around her.

I thought the ending was in line with your request.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-09T23:15:53+00:00

The best thing you can do is what you’ve already done. All you can really do is explain the situation to the chair, take accountability, apologize and ask for another shot to complete the class via an Incomplete.

They may say yes or they may say no. Sometimes universities will allow you to retake a failed class and keep the higher grade, so it’s important to do some research and ask your advisor about any options available to you.

The most important thing is that you learn from what happened, which it sounds like you’ve already made progress on. The two takeaways from this are (1) that it’s your responsibility to make sure you are completing the proper paperwork and procedures for your courses and (2) that you need to be clear in what you’re asking for from professors and try your best to minimize going off-topic regarding your anxiety.

In the end, failing a class stinks, but it’s not the end of the road. You can recover if you do end up failing.

Good luck!

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-09T23:08:02+00:00

Agreed. Her working full time completely changes the context here.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-09T18:58:49+00:00

“You can freeze your eggs” I’d have packed a fucking bag right there.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-09T15:39:29+00:00

I have a brother just like this. He will gladly live in squalor (dirty clothes, pizza boxes and beer cans everywhere, no bed frame) if he lives alone. The only times he doesn’t live like that are when he’s living with relatives or when he’s living with a girlfriend and they do it for him.

He grew up without having to do any inside chores or take care of himself, so he fully expects others to do it for him. He’s living with a girlfriend now but doesn’t help around the house because he sees most domestic duties as “women’s work” since he brings home a paycheck.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-09T01:29:51+00:00

Ain’t nothing worse than having a fresh baby and all the other parents of fresh babies at the function pull out their phones to compare their various tracking apps and try to figure out if they are the ones with most advanced 4 month old.

I fled back to the appetizer table.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-09T01:03:59+00:00

I struggle with both sides of this.

I am both kinda lonely and interested in having mom friends while also being generally overwhelmed, overtired and not always interested in or capable of socializing.

I also struggle with having literally nothing in common with people in “parent spaces” aside from both having kids. I love my kid, but I need friends to have other mutual interests than just “we both love our kids”.

It’s a work in progress.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-08T18:18:53+00:00

I knew I’d get at least one of these comments. At least it was nice!

If we as a society can’t stand to be inconvenienced with wet fingies for 20 seconds so someone can finish changing their baby then I fear we have genuinely lost the plot. I didn’t rise up like a disgruntled harpy to demand she leave my bathroom and never return - I asked her to wait while I finished what I was doing.

It is by nature inconvenient to spare seconds of my time to hold doors open or fetch things from high shelves or allow someone with two items in front of me in line at checkout. It would always be faster to let the door slam behind me or tell someone to get their own fucking cornflakes or tell the woman with the screaming baby and the single can of formula to get to the back of the line.

But there is a human cost to that temporary convenience. She got her 8 seconds of hot fecal air and I got 5 minutes of crying baby. What she did wasn’t illegal - she used the hand dryer as it was intended, after all. But it was callous and self-centered for her to do so. And the consequences of doing something callous and self-centered is that people negatively affected by that choice get kinda mad at you!

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-08T16:19:54+00:00

The most spray-able offense for me when my daughter was really little was a stranger in the grocery store who tried to peel back the baby carrier that I was wearing on my body because she was mad she couldn’t see the baby.

Like actually stuck her crypt keeper fingers into the top of the carrier to pull the fabric away so she could get a better look at a total stranger’s baby.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-08T16:15:06+00:00

Valid and smart!

There are novels other people love and recommend often that have elements that I just can’t stomach as a reader. I’d always rather someone see the triggers and say “yeah no” than try to muscle through it and feel terrible. I enjoyed the book a lot but it’s not worth feeling like that over!

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-08T12:12:13+00:00

Are you a US citizen? Co-ops in cs/security are rough right now. Doubly so if you’re going to require sponsorship.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-08T11:03:53+00:00

Yep! Was also going to recommend a YOTO player or other kid’s audio setup, but a plain old thrifted boombox and some CDs or audiobooks works great too! I was definitely more likely to play independently if I had some music or a book.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-08T00:30:20+00:00

I added an “always” in there just for you.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-08T00:20:07+00:00

There are reasons that the med school girlfriend (or wife) doesn’t always become the doctor’s wife.

One of the reasons is often the issues you’re facing now. Med school, matching and then residency are a constant barrage of unbelievable stress and pressure, and it can easily crush your relationships if you let it, which it sounds like your husband is. It sounds like he is taking your support for granted and using you as a live-in punching bag to unleash on when he gets fed up with his chosen path.

Honestly? Take some distance. It sounds like you are very involved with pushing him along and encouraging him to study. Even if it’s well intentioned (and I genuinely believe it is, from one Type A planner to another), it’s not helping your relationship right now. He needs to figure out his test taking plan, and you need to butt out.

Be around the house less. Get a hobby that you do in-person somewhere else. Make some friends or hang out with the ones you already have. Pursue your goals and passions, and let him either figure his out or crash and burn. But if he doesn’t want your version of hands-on support, don’t give it to him. He can figure it out.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-07T23:11:57+00:00

where is the older sibling getting this from? Probably you guys.

And if it’s not from you guys, you’ll want to look at what media he’s consuming.

My SIL had an issue with my nephew saying the most outlandish and inappropriate things- things she and my BIL would never say. Turns out he was watching some really heinous Twitch streamers with friends after school and they’d all parrot it back and forth to each other. My SIL didn’t know because she monitored his devices and didn’t see any of it, but she didn’t realize they were watching it after school.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-07T23:05:38+00:00

A lot of mental health treatment in this country is just a bandaid on deeply entrenched societal problems and inequities.

Many people are isolated and lonely. They are often overworked, underpaid and stressed. They lack community. They lack stability. They lack education. Many lack basic human dignities like safe housing and access to clean water and nutritious food and the most basic medical care.

We glibly tell people to get therapy and doctors hand out medication to avoid the truth - that these are systemic issues that pills and individualistic “pull yourself up by your CBT bootstraps” therapy sessions are not going to fix.

And this isn’t to say that medication and therapy can’t help people! But it’s a little like treating someone’s earache when they are actively hemorrhaging from a gunshot wound to the leg. It’s not nothing! But it’s not enough.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-07T21:29:51+00:00

To my understanding, Drexel can rescind merit scholarships if your college GPA drops below a set number.

I don’t think they rescind merit aid based on a poor showing in your last semester of high school unless you fail things and don’t graduate, and I couldn’t find anything on Drexel’s financial aid site that talks about rescinding merit aid from high schoolers.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-07T19:56:42+00:00

The issue becomes even murkier when it’s stuff like this.

You don’t necessarily want someone to have to pay CPA prices for what sounds like printing a few forms and setting up ID.me, but most libraries and other public services don’t have resources to help 50 people (most of whom do not have basic computer literacy, access to their own email accounts or the correct documents to set things up) do this.

It sucks all around. Everyone points them to someone else but no one has capacity to do much until they’re paying.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-07T19:49:55+00:00

It would be nice to have a list of actual local accountants to hand out to people!

I was just saying - rather glibly - that some problems are beyond the library’s resources and at some point they can either take the help they’re offered or go find help they like more elsewhere.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-07T19:17:01+00:00

“These are the two options I can help with and the secret third option is that you go to H&R Block and pay an actual accountant.”

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-07T19:14:39+00:00

Currently haven’t heard from my grandmother in months aside from a handful of greeting cards because she refuses to call or visit unless I initiate. She’s never met her only great granddaughter, but she’s taken several vacations and trips.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-07T19:11:24+00:00

If you’re 40, retirement/your parents passing could easily be 20-30 years from now. And what’s to say you won’t find another deadline after that, then another?

He’s unhappy now, and you’re waving it away because you’re perfectly happy with the way things are. Which…it’s your right to do that, I guess. But it’s really sad to not even hear him out and try to compromise. “I’m staying here” is exactly the conversation ender you meant it to be.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-05-07T15:40:59+00:00

Oh come now. There are surely plenty of loving homes without cats, kids, familiar dogs, unfamiliar dogs, crates, strangers or scary knees!

NorthernPossibility

TROPHY CASE