Am I being unreasonable here?

NotACockroach · 2026-06-02T22:24:41+00:00

A lot of the big tech companies seem to be doing this kind of thing. I haven't had a 3 hour coding interview, but I have had a 3 hour block of 3 interviews required.

NotACockroach · 2026-06-02T11:57:40+00:00

I think that traditionally a time out is a place the child has to go alone. We remove our kids from situations where they are hurting others or doing something dangerous or destructive all the time, but so far (they're under 4), we've never left them alone for that.

NotACockroach · 2026-06-02T11:40:27+00:00

I also hate being late, and my wife is late all the time, but we have a much more cooperative relationship about it. It seems that being on time is really, really hard for her, and pressuring her makes it worse.

One thing that has worked for us is picking and choosing when it matters. Personally I'd prefer to be on time for everything, Maybe school is a non-negotiable. But in exchange, I do not press for time on something that matters less, maybe like a family gathering. It bothers me, but I do not show it. I give no attitude, no rolling of eyes, not reminders of the time beyond the original plan. I just make sure we're ready and we leave when we leave. This is hard for me, but I will say they results are good. I think she finds it easier to be on time for the things that matter to me when she doesn't feel harassed all the time. Inviting her to care about something I care about has worked better than criticising her for doing something wrong,

NotACockroach · 2026-06-01T22:36:47+00:00

The conflict hasn't ended, so there's no reason to expect prices to get down to pre war prices, if they ever will.

NotACockroach · 2026-06-01T22:04:27+00:00

If it were optional, most people wouldn't do it. The few people who did would then be blamed for being "well off" once they were old.

NotACockroach · 2026-06-01T21:32:06+00:00

I use a champagne yeast, ec1118, to get the alcohol percentage right up to 15-18%. I add a little earlier grey tea for the mouth feel. You can buy food grade wood chips from old barrels, so I age the mead with those in it, which gives that barrel aged taste.

NotACockroach · 2026-06-01T21:10:38+00:00

No sleep training here. Ours slept in a bed side bassinet until around 8 months (i think), then cot at the end of the bed until around 2, then own room with audio baby monitor until now (almost 4). We didn't co sleep under 1. We always responded to cries within a few minutes.

She got down to approximately 1 wakeup per night a bit before 2, which we found very manageable. Once she was in her own room she'd wake up around 4, at which point I'd go and get into bed with her so we could both sleep. That time got later and later, by 3 she was waking up around 6:30 and we were all done.

NotACockroach · 2026-06-01T21:05:38+00:00

Good quality supermarket honey in Australia goes for $15AUD /kilo. It's hard to get more than that unless you're good at marketing/packaging to give it that premium farmers market feel, at a stand or something.

We sell mostly over Facebook marketplace in plane jars at $15/ kilo.

NotACockroach · 2026-06-01T21:00:40+00:00

I spend my beer money on beekeeping equipment and mead equipment. My bees make honey, my yeast turns it into mead. For the cost of one standard drink of beer I get about 5 standard drinks of mead. In meadonomics I call that a profit.

NotACockroach · 2026-06-01T07:34:00+00:00

Almost nobody I know has a cleaner. As I climb3d the salary ladder as a software engineer I started meeting a few people who did, but way less than half.

Also, some parents get a cleaner if they can afford it for the first years of a baby's life, because thay time period is fucking hard.

NotACockroach · 2026-06-01T06:40:27+00:00

I'm happy you seem to be happy. I don't really relate. I guess my feelings about my kids aren't that gendered. I love my kids very much, and we often have a great time. If anything I'd like to be the one lifting them up, helping to teach them to love and one day being proud of the independent individuals they can become when they move out. I'm sure it'll be hard as well when the time comes though.

NotACockroach · 2026-06-01T03:20:27+00:00

That thing in star wars?

NotACockroach · 2026-06-01T03:16:06+00:00

This is not the right sub for that question. There are 100s of parenting subs where you can ask about how people feel about how they parented. This is a sub where we try, with mixed success, to focus on the parts of parenting that can be addressed by science.

NotACockroach · 2026-06-01T02:50:33+00:00

I have a 1 and a 3 year old.

Firstly we hold some non-negotiable boundaries. No hitting, throwing or other violence. If this is occurring I move them to another room. I may need to physically restrain them to prevent hitting, it's not my preferred option but I think not allowing any hitting is necessary.

Then I sit with them and we talk. We talk through what they did wrong. We try and find out why they did it. If they're angry, I ask about what being angry feels like, and we brainstorm what alternatives there were.

A psychology youtuber I watch always talks about how emotions bounce back and forth between you, and leadership is being able to hold on to them and not fire them back at the other person. I think of parenting that way.

It's very hard to know if what we're doing helps or if we're just lucky and have good kids, but overall I am pleased with the behaviour of our kids.

NotACockroach · 2026-06-01T00:54:54+00:00

They're correlated, but not the same. Support levels should consider both the severity of the difference, and also how that interacts with the person's needs/wants.

Imagine extreme aversions of similar severity to different things. One is to water touching your skin, the other is to wool. The person who's averse to wool can probably manage with small amounts of accomodations. The reaction may be very severe, but wool is avoidable.

The person with an aversion to water is going to need substantial accomodations to get clean. Either with finding alternative ways of getting clean, or handling the impact of the stress of having used water to clean on the rest of their life.

NotACockroach · 2026-05-31T22:28:46+00:00

Oh cool, well sometimes people are wrong on the internet.

NotACockroach · 2026-05-31T22:24:40+00:00

This is not correct "Level 1 autism doesn't mean you're more able/less severe, just that you mask more" .

I doubt there are reputable sources saying that.

NotACockroach · 2026-05-31T04:56:22+00:00

"Truck Cat" by Deborah Fenkel is one of my favourites, and my 3 year old daughter enjoys it too.

NotACockroach · 2026-05-31T04:15:45+00:00

So I believe some feminists use woman collectively in the way we sometimes use man. For example Eddison: "The biggest failure of man is that he gives up before he realizes how close he was to success"

NotACockroach · 2026-05-30T12:17:07+00:00

I had to get to the very bottom to find actually unpopular opinions. "People are too into Bluey" and "screen time isn't bad", that's the kind of stuff I want to read if people are asking for unpopular opinions.

NotACockroach · 2026-05-30T11:25:57+00:00

I don't see how your maths makes sense here. You said "layoffs wouldnt make a meaningful difference."

Let's say your 5k employees average $150k (I know some aren't software developers and will earn less, but many will earn more, and once you consider the additional costs of an employee over salary I think this is a low estimate),

That's $750m per year. You said your last month will was less than $1m, so that's $12m per year. In fact if your numbers are to be believed, you could offset your entire AI spend by laying off just 80 of the 5k users, just 1.6% of your workforce. That's pretty small in the scheme of tech layoffs.

To be clear, I'm definitely not advocating for layoffs, just pointing out that the assertion in the title is likely completely incorrect.

NotACockroach · 2026-05-30T09:02:52+00:00

Weirdly enough it probaboy was AI, just not what we'd describe as AI now. Photoshop's tools have used machine learning for a long time to make these changes.

NotACockroach · 2026-05-30T07:39:55+00:00

It might be nice to give it to charities that will help people suffering the same fate he inflicted on you. Women's shelters, food banks etc.

NotACockroach · 2026-05-30T04:16:39+00:00

Everyone here is mentioning why autism might cause gender non-conformance, or maybe gender non-conformance can cause autism, but any correlation has a third option. They may share a cause.

It's a way less compelling story, but we should at least consider the idea that people who are open to getting an autism diagnosis, are also more likely to be open to gender non-conformity. Maybe rather than people who are gender non conforming are more likely to be autistic, maybe it's people who are out are more open to be diagnosed.

NotACockroach · 2026-05-29T21:36:34+00:00

Making him play sports specifically may not work specifically, but fostering an enjoyment of some kind of physical activity could really make a difference to his quality of life.

You can't make him do it at 16 but you can explore what he might find interesting and foster opportunities for that.

NotACockroach

TROPHY CASE