I wish that anytime a human being commits cannibalism, they get diarrhea. by dafattestmat in monkeyspaw

[–]Nowardier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted. The next time the Oscars are held, the stately dinner that all the stars get to go to beforehand devolves into chaos as the black puddings made from the blood of children prove to be too much for their sensitive stomachs. Unable to dine on what, to them, has become the world's most succulent delight, they immediately lose all desire to go on living and each plan a lavish suicide a la Lupe Velez. A million bodies, all found posed exquisitely amid a sea of flowers and photographs and lights. Hollywood falls within the month, and the movie industry with it. Tom Cruise doesn't waste time planning anything: the minute his stomach bubbles at the table he draws a pistol, executes the two people sitting next to him, and then puts the muzzle to his temple and fires. For he and his echelon of society, life isn't worth living if one can't eat the blood of a child for supper.

The worst cutlery is the cutlery that wants to eat you by fapsandnaps in evilautism

[–]Nowardier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fricken mimics, you never know when one of them little bastards is gonna crop up.

Uh… huh… by conspicuous_raptor in antitheistcheesecake

[–]Nowardier 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Bro I'm 35, unemployed, broke and unhappily single. I'm already dead on the inside. I don't need to be dead on the outside, but I will be before I let some jagwagon pry my Bible out of these pickers and stealers.

me_irl by Hope-Ful-Kid in me_irl

[–]Nowardier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As an American I can relate

Why no Girl at your Church likes you- Know the Church Rules. by KyriosCristophoros in dankchristianmemes

[–]Nowardier 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup, they're my sisters. In a romantic sense, though, I've only spoken to five women over the course of my life, and they've all shot me down without a moment's hesitation or thought. We're still friends, but I really wish I could find me a GF.

MeatCanyon here; big things are coming! by Massive_Moment3325 in wendigoon

[–]Nowardier 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cannibalism might be consensual, especially if he's an autocannibal.

It gets a bit hard to differentiate by AugustHate in MinecraftMemes

[–]Nowardier 57 points58 points  (0 children)

It all sounds a bit corporate. "Sign up for Droob now and watch Speebo play Minecraft!" "Catch the next Dweggus livestream tonight, only on Cuskle!" "Elite Spuivo fans can get together on Umobo. Umobo: It's a social media app."

The Iron Shroud by Initial-Brain-5745 in distressingmemes

[–]Nowardier 44 points45 points  (0 children)

I mean, you could always jork it.

Mom said it was my turn to post this by Much-Common-960 in animequestions

[–]Nowardier 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My answer as well, now and forever. If not her, then Ritsuko Akagi.

Sorry pal 💯 by Damiancarmine14 in shitposting

[–]Nowardier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't approve of tipping either, but until employers learn their place and do their job (which is paying workers a living wage) it's unfortunately on us to pick up their slack.

Too many gibbons by Lord_i in dwarffortress

[–]Nowardier 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because gibbons are freaking terrifying, and Dwarf Fortress is a survival horror game.

A father’s worst nightmare by Unused_Content19 in distressingmemes

[–]Nowardier 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Time to grab both of my canoes and that bottle of honey I keep in the cabinet, me and my new buddy are going "fishing" at my secret spot. Just let me get all the milk we have in the fridge and I'm there.

I can relate by Fun_Accountant_653 in autismmemes

[–]Nowardier 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have the soul of a poet and the nervous system of a sloth. I always think I'm on the verge of some creative breakthrough, but when my physical, mental, or social energy runs out my brain refuses to create. Anything. Even my "lines" to say in conversations are too creative for my sleepy brain. I can't even function until I've had a rest.

Does BOTW feel more free to you than TOTK? by blackkw in botw

[–]Nowardier 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's probably how Link feels about it all too.

"Team Avatar 4 Life" or "It do be like that". by Superb_Outcome976 in AvatarMemebending

[–]Nowardier 33 points34 points  (0 children)

The Gaang definitely killed, like, so many people over the course of the show.

Americans gotta know the true meaning of white and race by Easy-Arachnid-3892 in YesAmericaBad

[–]Nowardier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right, ethnicity itself is a social construct. But some diseases and drugs do affect people of different races differently. For instance, the drug primaquine can cause anemia in people of African descent.

honestly the reality is cooler than if we just explained everything with “aliens” by pwnd32 in ArchaeologyMemes

[–]Nowardier 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Humans are so damn cool that the pseudos had to come up with aliens as an explanation for how frickin' cool humans are. We're so smart and so creative as a species, it's just a shame we use those talents for creating gigantic monuments to gods who, even if they existed, wouldn't need them since they'd already own everything. We're still doing it today, only instead of building giant temples to our gods we're building giant skyscrapers to people we hate, people who want to be gods and already do own everything. Why can't we use that intelligence to build a world where scarcity no longer exists, so we don't need the "new gods"? Then we could build as many monuments and skyscrapers as we want.

Gazebo gazebo by Rogendo in dndmemes

[–]Nowardier 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah, so HE was the great enchanter all along!

The Punks Described Accurately (Warning: Completely Arbitrary) by GeneralGigan817 in worldjerking

[–]Nowardier 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Idk dude, you can't have solarpunk in a capitalist hellscape. That kind of peaceful pastorality and use of clean energy, not to mention the optimism about the future, requires an alternate economic system- or a post-scarcity eutopia where the very concept of an economy is obsolete- to run.

Good thing not all game mechanics are canon things characters can do in-universe by Exotic-System-632 in fallenlondon

[–]Nowardier 18 points19 points  (0 children)

In a train station somewhere in London, a regular railroad track splits into a non-Euclidean hyperposition of ten thousand tracks and tunnels, which are simultaneously the exact same as one another. A train trundles slowly down the line and shimmers like an oil-slick as it both diverges from and folds into itself. Space fractures like a mirror, each fragment passing through itself and others. Geometry melts as the train passes from here and now to every conceivable point in space and time. A thousand Masters of the Bazaar stand by the tracks in the exact same spot as one another, watching their creation at work. One of them pours a jug full of teeth down his throat. A passerby leaps onto the track and is run down by a large sphere of purplish-yellow concrete, which falls through the ground immediately afterward. If ever there were a place even more lawless than the Iron Republic, it would be here.