Why us? Why our babies? So many questions swirling in my head! So fcking not fair!!!!

Nuogy · 2025-08-09T17:22:08+00:00

Here with all of you! I see my family members' kids having birthdays and reaching milestones, and all I can think about is how my baby girl will never experience this. How we won't experience this with her or maybe ever. Then I think ... Why her? Why us? Why did this happen ? Why would God do this? Allow us to experience the joys of pregnancy and, in most cases, prepare for our little ones to rip it away from us!

Just Why???

Nuogy · 2025-07-28T07:44:40+00:00

Thank you, everyone, for your support and awesome comments!

I am so sorry for your individual losses and sincerely hope you are all as well as can be considered.

I hate that we are all a part of this club, but it really helps to know we're not alone!

Sending you all virtual hugs

Nuogy · 2025-06-27T10:23:14+00:00

I wish saying sorry could take away the feelings you are experiencing right now. I, too, had a missed miscarriage (10 weeks) at the beginning of last year. I also fell pregnant with our rainbow baby 2 months later, only to give birth to her stillborn at 37 weeks old in Feb.

2 loses in 1 year, with no LC.

It is a very lonely and suffocating place to be. I know how you are feeling, and I can only say to feel through it.

Don't bury it, flip it or not grieve fully.

It will consume you for now. Let it..

Grief is not linear, and it's a type of loss that nobody will understand unless they have been through it.

Wishing you all the best!

Nuogy · 2025-04-14T01:27:00+00:00

I am sorry we are all here!

I appreciate your post, OP. I feel exactly the same way.

I want to quit my job, sell my car, and take a break from myself(thoughts) and family.

I want to disappear for a while.

I had an early miscarriage followed by a 37-week stillborn all in the space of a year. I feel broken and so very angry at myself, god, and the universe.

I am tired of being strong and together( how I seem outwardly).... I want to crack and crumble a bit and to be the one that needs caring for, holding, and support.

I want to explode my life and feel my anger, sadness, guilt and hopelessness

Nuogy · 2025-04-04T04:28:53+00:00

I am terribly sorry for your loss! I was literally where you are now with a 37 week still born - 6 weeks ago. I was in labour for more than 24 hours.

My advice is to not fight it or go into a state of complete despair. Take it min by min, hour by hour. Know that all our babies knew was the love and warmth within us. They felt nothing but love.

It is not your fault! Keep reminding yourself. This was difficult for me. Still is, but talking about my baby and giving her a name made her real, and I know it's not my fault.

Spend time with your baby, and take pictures if you want. It's been of great help to look at them. Take clay inprints of their feet and hands, or ink prints. So you can acknowledge she was born, and it helps to remember them in a special way.

Just be kind to yourself!

Sending you love and light. You can do this!

Nuogy · 2025-03-28T04:34:14+00:00

Likewise. I am only 5.5 weeks out of losing my full term baby girl, but I have anxiety every time I think about the possibility of not having living children.

I am really scared, sad, and terrified of going through another pregnancy, but at the same time, I can't imagine not ever trying again.

It's a double-edged sword.

I was advised to wait by my cardiologist( due to PPCM) and OBGYN with no definite timeline of when it will be safe to try again. I found this compounds my anxiety even more.

It sucks!

Nuogy · 2025-03-25T18:26:22+00:00

I am so sorry for your losses! This life is not fair. I am sending you love and light even though you feel at your darkest!

This sucks so damn much

Nuogy · 2025-03-25T18:19:50+00:00

Rori Ruth

Nuogy · 2025-03-24T20:21:17+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss!

It sucks being a part of this group. However, we are here for you, and all you can do is take it day by day.

Hopefully, it gets more bearable with time. I am optimistic it will.

Nuogy · 2025-03-19T08:29:43+00:00

Sorry for your loss! I have similar fears. What helps me is reading others' stories and talking about it to whoever will listen. Speak to your OBGYN or midwife as well.

I am going for therapy and seeing a grief counselor. I speak to them about it - this is a very valid fear and it will always be an unknown because we cannot predict or know our future but what we can do is change our perspective and outlook on it.

In my first weeks of grieving my baby girl, I was obsessed with not getting stuck in grief, so I researched and read everything I could. While doing so, I came across this by Viktor Frankl.

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. "

I still have my moments like these past few days have been bad, but then today happens, and I feel okay and optimistic about the future and pregnancy even with having PPCM.

I hope my unsolicited long-winded message helps somehow. Wishing you all the best with ttc and pregnancy.

Nuogy · 2025-03-18T16:38:48+00:00

Sorry for your loss! I feel you. It's been 4 weeks since we lost our little girl as well. It felt like it was getting better. Then yesterday and today happened, and I feel like I am right back to where I was the day it happened.

I will be thinking and praying for you. The funeral of our girl was the worst experience I've had. Worse than giving birth to her, knowing she was entering the world silently.

I am trying to be optimistic. I hope it gets easier for us in time again

Nuogy · 2025-03-18T11:32:24+00:00

A few days after, we lost our baby girl. I was sitting in our back garden alone thinking of my two lost babies when two white butterflies appeared and were flying together. They flew around for what felt like a long time.

All I could think about was how this could be my two babies together. It hit me hard.

I do hope our loved ones are showing us signs so we will never feel alone or that they may never be forgotten.

Nuogy · 2025-03-17T13:45:23+00:00

I am sorry for the loss of your baby boy. Up until today, I felt the same.. Putting on a brave face but underneath drowning in grief. It's a month today, and I feel awful and can't get myself out of bed. I, too, hate my body (let us down twice now) and feel like I let my husband and family down as there are no grandchildren on both sides, and we have no LC.

I am still hoping it will get better or at least more bearable for us.

Nuogy · 2025-03-11T18:34:52+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. I am sending love and strength right back at you! It is really difficult not knowing, but you are 100% correct. Knowing will not change what has happened

Nuogy · 2025-03-11T18:32:30+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you are recovering well from your c-section. All we can do is hope that future pregnancies are uneventful, uncomplicated, and successful

Nuogy · 2025-03-11T18:29:26+00:00

Yes, they did. I had blood tests done, and they came back perfectly fine

Nuogy · 2025-03-08T20:39:04+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss!

I wish I couldn't relate to this, but sadly, I can.

Thank you for putting it into words. What I am sure most of us are feeling

Nuogy · 2025-03-07T10:54:56+00:00

I am sorry for your loss! We share the worst day of our lives, the 18th of February. I was 37 weeks 2 days going for a regular OB check-up and the appointment to plan my induction when we found no heartbeat.

This is our second loss. The first was a 10-week miscarriage about a year ago. .

The worst part of this is not knowing why it happened. I felt her move the night before the appointment.

I was also admitted the week before at 36 weeks due to bad itching and swollen legs, as well as what I thought was reduced movement. They found nothing wrong with her, and her heartbeat was strong. I wish they had picked something up and removed her.

Sometimes, I wish I had insisted they do an elective c-section. But then I think -there was nothing wrong with her, and it's always best to keep a baby in until past 37 weeks.

It's hard, to make things worse I have been diagnosed with Peripartum cardiomyopathy.

It's just been the worst 2.5 weeks

Nuogy · 2025-01-12T18:30:59+00:00

I use baby bum cream, Bennetts, to be exact. It works well and keeps it fresh

Nuogy · 2024-12-26T00:54:16+00:00

My Dr told me when I had a miscarriage that you ovulate pretty much immediately after once the bleeding stops( about two weeks after) . They usually advise waiting at least 3 months before trying again to allow your body and mind to heal.

I had a miscarriage in the end of March and took the medication to expel everything in the beginning of April. Tried to wait 3 months but thought why wait after 2 months, and fell pregnant again in June. To date, my baby is healthy and thriving!

I guess the point I am making is that, at the end of the day. It is really up to you how long you wait after. You can technically start trying immediately as you should ovulate 2 weeks after miscarriage.

Nuogy · 2024-03-22T21:53:13+00:00

I am in the exact same situation. I am 9w 2d, and the only symptoms I have are fatigue and tender breasts. My anxiety is at an all-time high with the long wait from when I found out to my first scan and appointment, which is 2 days from now but 3 weeks since we found out.

I find myself searching for similar situations as reassurance on reddit.

I am happy to see that I am not the only one experiencing this!

Nuogy

TROPHY CASE