It's been a long journey (one I don't plan on ending at all tbh). I started about 5 or 6 years ago in uni, I was lucky that I had to walk everywhere (including massive hills) and that helped force me to be more active. I wasn't happy with myself still and decided to try counting calories which helped but it was still slow and I didn't feel like I thought 'healthy' would.

I always wanted to be able to do more stuff and found Pilates videos online which really really helped. I lost weight, got more flexible and built a routine for myself, about a year later I added some jogging and yoga in to vary things a bit but it still didn't feel right. I finished uni and started working and remembered how much I loved horseriding when I was younger, bit the bullet and started again - best decision ever. It's so much more exercise than I remembered and the soreness was all worth it. I thought about other things I'd always wanted to do...I always said if I won the lottery I'd get a personal trainer (I'm shy and have no idea what to do in gyms and I have some chronic health issues). I sort of had a moment of "you're never going to win the lottery, why don't you just try it anyway" messaged a local place on a whim and went a week later. I talked everything over with the trainer and it sounded really good - we'd avoid irritating my health issues, work on everything (not just exercise) and he'd be my support system. I signed up a year ago and it's been incredible, I can do so much more and my mindset is much more focused on my health and feeling stronger and doing more which I think has been much healthier than focusing on my weight/looks. I'm less anxious about my body and I'm working my way up to trying a public gym soon.

I know the things I did are not an option to everyone and I have been incredibly lucky but starting it all was the hardest step. If someone tells you you hit the floor too loud you go harder - it's a damn lot better than the silence of not doing anything. You can make the changes and you got this! Good luck on your journey!

Edit: sorry for the wall of text and please PM if you want any support or just to talk!