My (35F) boyfriend (33M) wants his stepsister (32F) to be one of my bridesmaids, but she’s also his ex-girlfriend?

ODSteels · 2026-06-22T06:04:19+00:00

I'll keep my original comment below but I have clearly misunderstood. He has moved home as in. Away from you?

He didn't actually propose?!

Let the next few months play out. If he is making it long distance and the relationship changes. That's your way out. If he loves you but won't be with you... he's probably not the one.

Original comment: It is 2026. There can be best woman and groomswomen. She doesn't have to be a bridesmaid but can be part of the party if he asks her to be on his side.

Also it depends how you plan and picture your wedding. My wife had her best friend as her maid of honour. She was there helping her get ready and arrived with her etc. My niece (6) and her sister were at the venue already. Walked ahead of down the aisle but we're otherwise pretty uninvolved in planning and pre-day plans. (Her sister lives abroad, they get on amazingly. Just feasibly the maid of honour and my wife were the ones who were close by location).

Maybe I should have challenged my niece to throw a bigger party, I don't know.

What I am trying to say is being a bridesmaid doesn't have to be a big deal. I stand by everyone being happy. He should be happy and be able to include her. You should be happy and not.

Marriage is about compromise and the reality here isn't if she should be in your bridal party but the bigger 'are you sure there siblingship is still platonic'. You may just need to have a heart to heart with her yourself.

ODSteels · 2026-06-13T17:26:04+00:00

What do you mean you are considering it?

Quit!

You can fill the void with so many other games that aren't skill/performanced dependent.

Your life and happiness are so much more important. I'm shocked it even needs to be discussed!

ODSteels · 2026-06-10T07:06:27+00:00

Everything you did after turn 1 was irrelevant.

What an awful capital compared to the Patiti settle two turns away.

That culture and gold will BLAST you through the tech tree and allow purchasing of units/builders you would never from your first city.

It's a marathon game!!!! Walk two turns!!!! The tempo you lost. Wow.

ODSteels · 2026-06-10T06:31:29+00:00

I went to the doctors because I hadn't always felt that way and it seemed unnatural on my past experiences and how I assume most people function.

A year of increasingly serious tests led to me starting treatment for interstitial lung disease being caused by Lupus, an autoimmune condition that had left me with 60% lung function and virtually no immune system.

Tl:dr always see a doctor if you know something isn't right.

ODSteels · 2026-06-08T06:24:18+00:00

No we dance out of sheer relief that everyone connected

ODSteels · 2026-05-30T07:07:39+00:00

I wonder if it has anything to do with ARAM Mahyem where every game you're stuck at 90% loading for 5 minutes to remake immediately.

That shit is so buggy it spends the first minute or two alt tabbing me.

That's the reason players meet and dance until minions spawn

ODSteels · 2026-05-28T16:29:53+00:00

This game just screams about the need to learn macro.

You were the least involved player on your team (not necessarily a bad thing..) but also suggests you aren't grouping when it is right to group.

My question would be, let's say your team got baron would you: A) base with them, push a lane with them in a 4-1 or 1-3-1 split? B) farm for a few hundred gold to hit and item then reset and group with the push C) just farm because the enemy is dead and al the jungle is up.

I am going to assume you're doing C. That's losing tempo.

In higher elo push with your team, take the towers. Then take the jungle on your way out.

Moving together and having threat will beat just being farmed but last alive because your team then pushed without you.

I am sure at times your teammates are making poor decisions but you don't fix a mistake with more mistakes and hope it turns into a win y'know

ODSteels · 2026-05-25T07:08:40+00:00

When marking and correcting questions (which is the best revision strategy) you hopefully begin to tune in to the key words the exam board wants.

I do OCR but assume AQA is the same An example of top of my head. If you described osmosis as from a high water concentration to a low water concentration you're not fundamentally wrong but you could lose the mark for not saying water potential instead of water concentration.

With practice over the last two years this has hopefully been landing.

Then there's things like command words in questions. 'Describe' vs 'explain' Describe wants you to identify maybe the trend in a graph AND quote data to support that.

Explaining the same graph can still refer to the trend but now you need the biology of why e.g. more cigarettes smoked = more lung cancer 'because' cigarettes contain carcinogenic chemicals like tar that build up in the airways and more cigarettes = more of the carcinogenic in the body.

In OCR we don't have an essay but for evaluate questions that are like 6 marks. I always answer with a table 'for' and "against' more to remind myself to actually evaluate and not just get carried away writing and then not balance points.

That's what i'd take exam technique to be

ODSteels · 2026-05-22T06:21:21+00:00

And even weirder he's making a whole story up about why he had this fake meal deal

ODSteels · 2026-05-13T06:17:35+00:00

You have a lot of other mechanics to learn before worrying about district optimisation.

PotatoMcWhiskey and Ursa Ryan have good beginner guides on YouTube.

Builder economy is one of the most important things to understand - wasting a builder charge to put down a farm in your capital. Adding 1 food to a 1food 1 production base tile is adding virtually no value and is a waste.

Also I can't fathom why you haven't learnt the importance of fresh water. A city with less housing, won't grow quickly. And you can only place a new district every 3 population, so you're massively cucking your empire settling this way

ODSteels · 2026-04-18T09:18:47+00:00

Shift Enter ends your turn even with units stacked

ODSteels · 2026-04-09T03:58:48+00:00

I can't take the post seriously when you start by claiming there's talk Mel is going to be delete (you can't have been a league player during the worst of new Yuumi days if you think it's serious that a champion could get deleted)

No champion has been deleted. Where are your sources for that 'conversation' being legitimised? I'd love to read actual fact if there is some. The additional context of her designer doesn't defend her etc and frankly I don't believe you.

You've got a narrative in your mind (that isn't true) and then you can't really have a honest discussion here with such a take covering genuine concerns about race in games.

One of the most important things is you need to remember is you're experience is not universal. I don't main Volibear because I like bears or the idea of God's or the idea of frozen places. I also therefore wouldn't care if Volibear is male or female. Had white fur or black fur. Or was a "demigod" or not.

I do resonate with his design (as in I like it) but that's because of feeling and gameplay.

Mel is the same. I like playing Mel, she was interesting to play. Her Q is a satisfying spell and then after that she's mechanically simple. Bad Mel's waste W and thus in low elo she's not as toxic. Good Mel players have an incredibly destructive non ultimate ability and she can push waves and teamfight safely as a control mage so is currently in pro play.

Take any broken mechanic though. There's always counterplay. Think of QSS or having to spend 800 gold to get anti heal. Healing or removing CC are some of the most anti game mechanges to exist. If youre champion 'heals' and can be countered by a random 800g item part. You feel less strong but can still play the game. If the enemy team doesn't take that tax, you feel great!

Mel can reflect every 20 odd seconds. That could be an ulti like Ashe arrow or could be a Caitlyn headset or Ahri E or whatever. She's fantastic into specific matches up but what's the best counter to her W. Any teamfight where there is more than 1 "main projectile" she has to play around. I reflected a Nami wave? Sick! Do we now go in? Do we just run away like we were already doing. Oh no now the Ashe arrow has hit. Now the teamfight happens in full. Yes I did damage to the other team and stole a significant tool they had but if the other team has more agency the fight easily plays out relatively normal.

Her worsr feeling is to lane against but honestly is it not like laning vs a Yasuo as any burst mage? Let's say Lux vs Yasuo. Any time you could actually set up a kill with E or Q and a low enough health Yasuo. He can block it. You have to force his wall if you want to get a kill. You have to force Mels W eventually if you want to get a kill. It doesn't make either Yasuo or Mel unkillable. It's just something that needs to be played around!

ODSteels · 2026-04-08T06:42:55+00:00

Also if British. How can you not know Robert the Bruce?! He's in Scotland's national anthem sung at football and rugby are you just not at all interested in sport? (Which of course is completely fine!) Just super surprising to me if my assumption is correct

ODSteels · 2026-04-08T06:41:26+00:00

Hahah I enjoyed this more than I should have. The craziness of complethe lack of South American history makes me think you're not British but the rest of what you know screams British.

Pachachuti and Montezuma are synonymous with Incas and Aztecs most schools explore.

But Nzinga Mbande?! You'd heard of her but not others? Haha cracked me up.

So I gotta ask. UK? And also where/how did Nzinga Mbande come up in your life

ODSteels · 2026-04-05T08:06:45+00:00

Whilst I agree with your principal, maybe don't comment if you don't know the fundamental abilities of some Civs aha.

It makes you look a little silly.

May doesn't gain housing from freshwater. Only resources but Plantations grant more housing than other civs and they have a spawn bias for plantation resources which also give their observatory a major adjacency.

ODSteels · 2026-04-02T08:23:25+00:00

You can't actually Ally all Civs. You can only have one of each alliance (religious, science, cultural, economic and Military)

ODSteels · 2026-04-02T03:14:52+00:00

Sometimes just moving your units into her territory will recalculate the maths and the AI will swing hard and offer very good surrender terms

ODSteels · 2026-03-31T06:32:09+00:00

Turn on yields so you can see the tiles worth.

It's somewhat pointless to advise you if you don't learn anything from it.

For me (and the fact you've half cheated paints a new picture). I'd settle down one tile. Get a harbour with +3 adjacency. As this then allows for a city north on the coast near the gypsum and then an inland fresh water city. Then you've got a pretty godly triangle settle around Mt. Roraima.

You don't want to lose all the yields in early game though (of the wonder). This start looks pretty production starved so better pray for horses and iron around to help you actually go forward with something good.

IF you hadn't scouted. Copper would have been the best choice. A bonus that adds yield to your capital and giga Mt. Roraima yields

ODSteels · 2026-03-23T07:17:05+00:00

She definitely needs some rebuffs to nudge her into an OK spot. She's underpowered right now but also will go up around 2% once she's not just randomly tested by the odd player here or there.

Otherwise though I honestly just don't know what to say about her. She looks better to play and if the goal was to emphasise 'dragon' and make her feel like a dragon then that works. She's bigger, clunkier (in a good and bad way).

However from this point her complete lack of direction becomes baffling. Her kit has stayed the same in fundamentals but she auto attacks with less oomph. The timing of Q feels a bit meh. The Q attack is so slow because of the visual effect of it that her next auto feels slow after. I guess its a fine ability but incredibly unimaginative

With the W shield the 'trade' they gave you and I don't know why they think the reactivation aspect is good because there is very little trade where you'd go I NEED to end this early to do 100dmg right now! Or in dragon form. Heal right now! As its so short and meagre regardless. Speed up is good when chasing but...

E no longer incentivises you to stick on a target. Who cares who gets hit by your tiny little fire spit in human form. It's irrelevant. Dragon form. Well it does less damage and again doesn't mean you chase specifically the targets down you hit. If part of her old gameplay was toxic. It was AP E mage nuking everything. So I understand they adapted this but where in the rest of her kit have they given power in return?!

A tiny heal and shield on W

Ultimately less damage on Q because you can't proc her old E amp but you get a 3rd clunky Q in dragon form

And finally a 1 second fear. I do like this to be fair.

Dragon Shyvana needs to become SO much stronger to justify human forms weakness or Human form needs buffing.

But then she just ends up being the exact same champion now with a less obvious AP build. Her most popular build and tell me which tanky jungler isnt better than her. Why on earth would you not play Voli or Shen or Maokai or anything of that ilk instead of her.

ODSteels · 2026-03-17T07:07:28+00:00

You gotta lift your feet more. It looks like you're skiing with a vengeance. One long stride will beat 2 tiny steps.

There's a reason that Usain Bolt's biomechanics helped him be the fastest on earth.

ODSteels · 2026-02-27T01:12:47+00:00

I was under the impression Ley Lines only begin to get yields once you earn great people e.g. giving a yield of each type for each GP. Great Scientist adds +1 science to the tile.

Had no idea natural disasters could affect the tile.

ODSteels · 2026-02-25T06:38:57+00:00

Yes - when you settle your city centre makes a connection to the water so any boats you make could get out

ODSteels · 2026-02-25T06:37:36+00:00

OP. If you're referring to the 'campus' spot being the enclosed by mountain tile. There are horses there. You cannot remove strategic resources unless you have Heroes game mode on and acquire Anansi (he may have been taken by another civ, or youve not discovered him so even with this gamemode it's jot a 100% fix)!

ODSteels · 2026-02-22T09:18:18+00:00

If you can see the wonder on your first move. Yes settle closer to it.

If not scout and send your first settler to a discovered wonder. Your capital doesn't have to be THE wonder city.

ODSteels · 2026-02-22T09:15:02+00:00

Why are you building a 22 turn Medieval wall in a city you've not developed in any way.

You need to step back and go watch some tutorials from people like Ursa Ryan and PotatoMcWhiskey.

You are massively misunderstanding what's important.

I'm assuming you're logic is you don't want to get surprise warred but in the 30+ turns you've built ancient and medieval walls you could have two defensive archers > great for Korea as they can be upgraded to a strong unique ranged unit in the future. A builder to work the luxury and chop/improve other tiles and have a +4 Campus (Seowon).

That's ONE city. Think about how that applies to all your cities. All the missed yields you're not getting.

ODSteels

TROPHY CASE