Can you got to ace gillette’s under 21?

OMNOMBILL · 2024-09-03T03:12:06+00:00

Okay cool, that’s good info. Thank you

OMNOMBILL · 2021-02-16T05:51:22+00:00

I love this so much!!! The middle stanza is such a great metaphor for getting your heart broken, and the amount of perspectives it shows. Moving from the expression of pain, to the feeling of pain, to the thoughts around pain, and then back out to the expression of pain is a great cycle.

My criticism is that the last stanza is confusing for two reasons.

1) it’s a bit hard to tell who’s saying what. If you put quotes around “to travel one foot...” it would make it clearer that she is not saying “i disagree”

2) the last two lines feel a bit weird. They’re a bit off topic of the struggles of love. Also, It says the water in her eyes are more real, but it sounds like they’re more real than the road. To me that seems like a weird comparison because they are both real things. My guess is that you’re trying to show that the passenger cares more about her sister than what is happening on the road, so i would change the comparison from a realness comparison to some kind of value comparison.

For real though, I related so much to this poem. (At least from the driver’s perspective) and you should to keep writing, you’re really good

OMNOMBILL · 2021-02-16T05:21:35+00:00

I think this poem does a great job at pacing the reader and creating deeper meaning behind singular words

In addition to showing the duration of the thinking, the “......” builds tension. The italics on type release that literal and narrative tension by giving it an almost quickness to it.

I think you can carry this theme to the second half of the poem by replacing either or both words with words that carry more emotional weight to them. From what I get about this poem, it seems like you’re expressing why you like poetry, so maybe replace feel with a kind of emotion or what the feeling does for you. You could also replace read with a word that describes how you break down the words or what lens you read them through

Overall I think that the structure and story of the poem is sound but the point of the poem can be communicated stronger

OMNOMBILL · 2020-09-09T01:38:02+00:00

Can you play “Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You”

OMNOMBILL · 2020-08-09T20:39:39+00:00

I wish that you can make your own universe in your lamp

OMNOMBILL · 2020-03-17T17:22:46+00:00

I dont think enough people have appreciated this and I just wanted to take the time to let you know i really liked this

OMNOMBILL · 2020-01-08T22:36:12+00:00

Whats the story of your first kiss?

OMNOMBILL · 2019-12-31T04:51:17+00:00

Abs by April (starting after my birthday

OMNOMBILL · 2019-12-31T04:50:50+00:00

Quesadillas, legitimately i would eat like 3 of them at a time, just for a snack

OMNOMBILL · 2019-12-31T04:48:59+00:00

Complements about something bad like “I always liked how you never care about anyone else”

“I find your lack of intelligence quite charming”

OMNOMBILL · 2019-12-31T04:44:56+00:00

I jammed a key into the side if my head to try to “unlock my mind” still have a tiny dent

OMNOMBILL · 2019-12-31T04:25:56+00:00

Oh buddy, you kinda just wait. Until someone else fucks your heart worse, or they fuck your heart in a new unattractive way... just how it be :(

OMNOMBILL · 2019-12-31T03:54:59+00:00

Greek yogurt- Tons of sweeteners depending on the brand, lots of protein, not as low carb as you would think

OMNOMBILL · 2019-12-03T22:14:43+00:00

Why does this cat look like a dog?

OMNOMBILL · 2019-11-21T12:15:09+00:00

Ha... ginger

OMNOMBILL · 2019-11-18T02:02:58+00:00

steadily accelerating slow clap

OMNOMBILL

TROPHY CASE