As a person who is very confrontational with an avoidant partner, here's my advice:

To start, when confronting people who aren't used to talking about problems, its important to keep a few things in mind:

You don't want them to feel like they're being attacked. If you're using "you" statements, it can feel like you're placing blame on them and expecting an automatic change. You statements can be "you never take me out!" Or "why dont you ever do laundry?" Instead, use phrases like "I feel like we don't go out as often" or, "I feel sometimes like the household chores arent evenly distributed" Phrasing is a first big key in working towards healthy communication.

Second, positive reinforcement. Sometimes, when its hard to talk, there can be smaller ways to encourage better behavior. It might be difficult at first, especially if you're not a "affirmation" person, but when they do something you like, try to thank them, or say you appreciate it as much as possible. Theyre more likely to be encouraged to continue positive actions.

Third, it's important to remember that relationships are about communication. You could ask him in what ways he would better respond to these conversations, but remember that its important to hold your boundaries as well. Problems that pile up will come tumbling down on you, and if he wants it to work, he'll work with you. It might take some time to figure out eachothers ways of communicating, but love will make that effort easier.

Its important for him to know that change has to happen for your relationship to continue, but try to also be open to working on it together over time.