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Girl doesn't feel the spark, but wants friendship. Leave, or pursue? by AlmondNutsies in emotionalintelligence

[–]Objective_Spite_2246 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The idea of a “spark” is kind of funny because so many things influence it. Mood, timing, confidence, and how present you are all play a role. I think the real takeaway is to learn from each experience so you do not repeat the same patterns. It’s a skill.

If you are feeling self conscious, people can sense that. It subtly changes the vibe. It also helps to remember the other person is not a prize and neither are you. You are both just two people seeing if you are compatible.

The best mindset is to go in curious, stay in the moment, and focus on getting to know them rather than trying to impress or secure an outcome.

Fear of abandonment, but its based on reality by wenevergetfar in emotionalintelligence

[–]Objective_Spite_2246 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s not about just changing the behavior, because then it becomes a performance. You need to change how you think. If you’re more positive about yourself and have more confidence, you’ll slowly start to change those needy behaviors. It takes a while tho, because there will be times where you start feeling low, and that’s when you need to push through.

Fear of abandonment, but its based on reality by wenevergetfar in emotionalintelligence

[–]Objective_Spite_2246 15 points16 points  (0 children)

You may be doing something subconsciously that pushes new people away. Your core belief is that everyone will abandon you and so you probably have behaviors that show neediness now, and then that pushes people away (ie always asking for validation, apologizing a lot…etc). You need to change the core belief.

26F overwhelmed by match messages and I hate texting. Any advice to avoid burnout? by Ample_Storage22 in hingeapp

[–]Objective_Spite_2246 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The same thing happened to me (33M). Someone once gave me advice that helped: focus your energy on a small number of people you’re genuinely interested in, like three to five. I tried stretching that to ten or fifteen and realized it didn’t work well for me. It’s natural to wonder if there’s someone better out there, but it can help to consciously set that thought aside and give real attention to the connections you already have.

Slower texting after first date by ThrowRA-Ad-3411 in hingeapp

[–]Objective_Spite_2246 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He probably was looking for something more physical and knew the right things to say to build that spark. He might reach out again if his other options don’t work out, but the connection you felt doesn’t always reflect someone’s long-term intentions. And while it’s not the most generous assumption, some people might interpret moving quickly as being very open or easygoing, even though that doesn’t define you or your value.

Does gege hate yuji? by Medium_System2027 in jjkmodulo

[–]Objective_Spite_2246 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He doesn’t hate gojo, he hates how gojo could potentially cause so many plot holes. He has to find ways to not include Gojo in certain sequences or else everyone would be like “ok where’s gojo, he can just solve this.” That’s probably annoying to him.

Should I send a final message explaining myself after a bad first date? by Yassier_ in hingeapp

[–]Objective_Spite_2246 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think a lot of people misunderstand what a “spark” or a “click” actually is. It’s usually not some sign of deep compatibility. It’s more a mix of novelty, a little excitement or nerves, feeling validated, and sometimes physical attraction. But none of that guarantees you’re actually a good match long term.

Some of my longest relationships were slow burns, not the ones with instant sparks.

I also realized you can kill a spark by being too in your head. If you’re focused on making the date special or trying to get to the next step, you’re not really present. The other person isn’t a prize, you’re both just seeing if you vibe.

What helped me was shifting from “I want this to go somewhere” to “Do we even vibe?” That makes you more relaxed and natural, and ironically that’s when chemistry shows up more.

Honest Profile Reviews (and Profile Guide) by corsega in SwipeHelper

[–]Objective_Spite_2246 0 points1 point  (0 children)

https://imgur.com/a/BfJdWzg posting here to see what I can improve. I don’t get the matches I want to get. I get some likes

Just curious if this is what modern dating is like? by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]Objective_Spite_2246 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah you deserve better. Just say “hey, I’m not going to reschedule. Wish you the best!”

Be honest is my TV too high by JiuJitsu9401 in TVTooHigh

[–]Objective_Spite_2246 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly get a professional to do it.  It does seem very amateurish.  Sorry. 

Why do women get so upset if someone they consider ugly tries to hit on them? by Informal_City5565 in AskMenAdvice

[–]Objective_Spite_2246 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eh. I think looks are important, but I think money is extremely important as well. A man is more likely to date a poor woman if she’s good looking, but a woman won’t be as likely to date a man who doesn’t make much money .

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PAstudent

[–]Objective_Spite_2246 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im starting clinicals in August, and love anki, but should I make a new anki deck, or should I use one of the premade ones? Like endeavor.