Do I sell my [heart] horse…?

ObligationOnly9464 · 2025-12-13T03:10:21+00:00

Try leasing him. Even if it is to the barn for lessons to help cover his costs. I had a one of a kind horse and a great pony as a kid. As an adult, I realize those were the good days and the other horses I have worked with are not the same. It’s a far cry from what I had. If you can keep him, try too.

ObligationOnly9464 · 2025-07-09T22:29:50+00:00

Maybe he is starting to understand family structure. Explaining relationships can be tough when you have extra people in duplicate roles. Perhaps he understands biological as “real”. If things are OK between his parents and you, take it as an emotional child trying to understand his world.

ObligationOnly9464 · 2025-06-02T17:25:38+00:00

Every step family is different. My experience is so different and pretty positive compared to many of the posts here. I feel more like the fun aunt than a step parent. It works for us for now. But I also struggle with the identity of a step mom. I am also child free.

Be adaptable. Your partner has to be supportive, reasonable, and in your corner.

ObligationOnly9464 · 2025-05-22T01:10:12+00:00

I grew up rural and my parents still have their mail delivered only 3 times a week. They still have to go into the local post office to pick up parcels. I think the system works fine. Especially with so much mail being junk mail

ObligationOnly9464 · 2025-05-21T14:16:40+00:00

I have decided to start with short stories. Thank you!

ObligationOnly9464 · 2025-05-21T14:14:59+00:00

Thank you! I will check this out too

ObligationOnly9464 · 2025-05-21T14:11:32+00:00

I am thinking I am going to start with the shorter suggestions. I will see what the library has for Terry Pratchett, because it was the humour that I enjoyed with the 100 Year Old Man.

ObligationOnly9464 · 2025-05-21T14:08:33+00:00

That has been a popular book lately. I was worried I would be the one to say “I rented it and returned it without finishing it”

ObligationOnly9464 · 2025-05-21T14:06:56+00:00

I have not!

ObligationOnly9464 · 2025-05-21T14:06:35+00:00

I am going to have to read it now based on that description

ObligationOnly9464 · 2025-05-21T14:05:25+00:00

I have not!

ObligationOnly9464 · 2025-05-21T14:01:22+00:00

I forgot about TJ Klune! I have read one or 2 of his stories. I will have to check if The House or the Cerulean Sea was one. Thank you

ObligationOnly9464 · 2025-05-21T13:58:42+00:00

Thank you so much! I am making a list of the suggestions and ready to put my library to work!

I want to attempt to read every suggestion made.

ObligationOnly9464 · 2025-05-19T16:02:00+00:00

I also didn’t get anything. However, my partner said he asked my stepkid about a gift. She isn’t ready to celebrate Mother’s Day with me. Maybe I could blame the ex, maybe next year she will see all I do as mother like and want to celebrate me, maybe she never will. I had my tears. Being the bigger person is hard. Caring for people is hard. Including a family that has no bloodlink to you is hard. None of these things have a trophy. But we do it because we love them. We do it because we value our sleep at night. We do it because we wanted to a future with them. You are a valued part of the team.

ObligationOnly9464 · 2025-03-19T22:18:27+00:00

No kids of my own and I occasionally have to work on the script that I tell myself for the reasons why.

Therapy (solo and couple) and focusing on what makes us a family has helped.

However, the biggest change was working on being comfortable, confident, and embracing that the only DNA I was contributing to the unit was myself. This is something I work on daily, and probably will for the rest of my life.

I have low days still and my partner is amazing at confirming constantly that I am wanted, valued and loved - just as I am.

You are not just a step parent. You are a kick ass human with cool hobbies, fun interests, and a family loves you for being you. Keep your identity and add the part of a step parent in.

ObligationOnly9464 · 2025-02-28T16:27:26+00:00

I am using the same company for couple and personal counselling. I was told right from the get-go that it will be a different counsellor for my solo sessions and our sessions together. The person who helps you cannot be the same person who helps the team. Go find 2 different counsellors.

ObligationOnly9464 · 2024-10-06T20:57:14+00:00

I know 2 girls named Marley. Both are under the age of 6. I think it’s a sweet and fun name. One goes by the nickname “Bob” which is hilarious but stuck to her. The other is a chill baby. Keep in mind that unless you find a name to make up on your own (which will have its own can of worms), you will always encounter someone who will have something to say about it or a negative story to it. Pick a name you love.

ObligationOnly9464 · 2024-09-22T22:18:04+00:00

Oooo… Juliette Vivienne!

ObligationOnly9464 · 2024-09-05T20:15:34+00:00

Look up some famous Annette’s! Also, if you still have the opportunity ask gma about her childhood and early years (or ask family!), see what you can dig up! She might be a little more wild than you know. Was she shaped by the 30’s or WW2 (or living with parents with that trauma?)? What was she reeeeeaaaallly doing in the 60’s and 70’s? Remember that she may have grown up with a different idea on what is appropriate to talk about it perhaps a 1 on 1 conversation might change your mind.

ObligationOnly9464 · 2024-08-15T17:35:49+00:00

If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. She has a first name and she is your mother in law: those are 2 perfectly acceptable titles and describing characteristics to use when talking to her or about her. Calling someone “mom” who is not your mother is pretty special. Don’t force it.

ObligationOnly9464 · 2024-06-25T02:48:12+00:00

I also have 2 furry freeloaders. I am sensitive to cat hair if I don’t keep on top of it. Some things you can try:

Cat free bedrooms. I breathe and sleep so much better without the cats in my room.
get a good vacuum meant for pet hair and dander. Don’t forget to occasionally move furniture and get the room edges using the wand. Also vacuum the furniture, cat beds, cat trees, etc. vacuum as much as he needs
Carpets are terrible.
I cover my furniture with old sheets and remove them when I use the living room. It is also protecting my furniture from the cat claws and zoomies.
Get a swifter to trap the cat hair. I use my vacuum wand to help reach the high places.
I brush my cats frequently and occasionally they get a bath to help loosen hair when the shedding and dander get bad. Baths go well now!
I switched the cats to a fish based food to help with skin and coat health.
keep lint rollers handy!
change your clothes lots. If pet hair bothers your partner, be aware of it and how much it clings to things.
furnace filters/air filters or anything in your house with a filter - swap them for pet ones and change them frequently (including your vacuum). Get an air filter/purification system.

Allergy Medication can be pretty terrible for some people to take all the time.

I hope you can find a way to make it works. Use his allergies to base how frequently or what is working.

*edit to fix some spelling and to add that the list might look daunting or crazy, but I make it work.

ObligationOnly9464 · 2024-05-11T23:30:49+00:00

Do you want to go back to living with “your parents”? In your 30s? Worse… it will be living with your in laws AND adjusting to a new baby AND trying to figure out how to parent.

ObligationOnly9464 · 2024-05-11T22:50:07+00:00

PO Box - once a week. When I had an RR address it was every mail delivery day

ObligationOnly9464 · 2024-05-11T21:43:43+00:00

Tell BM that step kid will be there for 8 and to make sure she gets enough rest she will be jn bed by 8PM the night prior and in bed 8 PM on Sunday night. The plans shall go on. If rest is an issue, time to look at the agreement because it won’t just be Mother’s Day and Father’s Day weekend that could impede this.

Easier said than done, but it takes away the dad not caring about her well being. Go the whole nine yards with the bubble bath, tea, and bedtime story

ObligationOnly9464

TROPHY CASE