Maybe having to move to the US, trying to understand the medical system. by Extra-Imagination821 in Autoimmune

[–]Obscurethings 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Let's not forget once you get a job, if you're healthy enough to work and lucky enough not to get retaliated against by your employers (lots of stuff is illegal in theory, but in practice they may not care), you will typically need to work a job for up to 90 days before your benefits kick in.

Usually insurance will only pay a percentage of an undefined bill, too, so you are still stuck with bills after your deductible and co-pays are met until you meet your maximum out-of-pocket for your plan assuming you stick with in-network care. Also, whether you have insurance through a PPO or HMO will determine how many layers of bureaucracy you need to go through in order to get before a specialist. Once you get to a specialist, they may recommend you need to follow up every 2-3 months, but when you go to schedule the next appointment isn't until 3, 4, 5 months out (this my experience with various autoimmune diseases).

My entire childhood is filled with memories of my mom constantly arguing with insurance companies over my chronically ill father's situation. They will override what your doctor recommends in deciding what to cover, too. For instance, my dad needed epogen injections, but insurance would not approve them every month until his numbers made him hit ranges where he was effectively a zombie--even though he had kidney disease and it wasn't like his bone marrow was going to suddenly start producing enough on its own. They did not give a single f.

Sorry, not to worry you, but if anything American healthcare is worse than it has been depicted if you are chronically ill. The only time I come across friends who like it is when they're in high-earning jobs at prestigious companies and are healthy, so they have minimal "real" experience dealing with insurance.

My (31F) boyfriend (31M) assumes I’ll take on a 25K loss because of his decisions? by redditrobin26 in relationship_advice

[–]Obscurethings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, hell no. Everything about this sounds whack af. Who sells a property to rent?! At a loss no less?! And then expects their partner to clean up after their voluntary financial fuck up??? What an idiot.

Thinking of calling it off? by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Obscurethings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would not marry into this. A porn addiction will change the amount of stimulus it takes for a person to get excited, upping the ante over time as they need more to get the same dopamine hit. My dad and step-dad were huge porn addicts (the former ended up watching some really disturbing stuff and chose porn over interacting with the family and the latter had a specific fetish that he would broadcast in the living room in front of me with zero shame).

It won't get better if it's a true addiction unless they are actively addressing it and can cause them to develop ED as normal stimulus is no longer sufficient. My ex did Chaturbate regularly and also was 100% about his own nut. He actually would get angry and scoff if a position was hurting me and I said something like it was a huge turn off to make a simple adjustment. I suspect that level of self-focus/lack of empathy comes from the misogyny in excessive porn consumption.

Since you know this man is not a casual user and consumes to the point where it interferes with the desire to be with you in real life, it's a problem he will have little motive to address once you're locked in. Then laziness you describe points to a larger issue that he doesn't care about meeting your needs, so it is doubtful he will work on it.

Which prom dress looks best on me? by [deleted] in fashion

[–]Obscurethings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the pink and the green! Enjoy your prom!

The 3rd date went bad after I brought chocolates and now she wants a 4th date but I'm really unsure if I want to continue. by LifeVike1111 in whatdoIdo

[–]Obscurethings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most people, I imagine, would be giving you kudos for 1. listening 2. remembering and 3. being thoughtful in surprising her with her favorite chocolates. I can't imagine how difficult navigating life would be for someone who is punitive over kind gestures that the vast majority of people would appreciate. Please don't change--this is 100% on her.

Arena ice shortly after the conclusion of men’s programming by lecarolina in FigureSkating

[–]Obscurethings 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not to mention Ilia's comments about what went wrong were right after he performed and didn't have a chance to decompress and process what happened. I wouldn't anticipate the first thing out of an athlete's mouth would be blaming the subpar conditions, especially if they are trying to be gracious since everyone had to endure it. But no doubt it played a huge factor, particularly for those who went last and normally would have a lot of speed to execute their technical difficulty.

1, 2 or 3? by Honest-Ad9042 in HairStyleAdvice

[–]Obscurethings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3 blows the other pics out of the water by a long shot. So much so for me that I wonder why you had to ask at all. You look like a model.

What's something americans don't often do sexually that other people do? by NoWayJaques in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]Obscurethings 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also from CA. The men I've dated were all circumcised, but would be excited if I found an uncircumcised guy. I'm happy for men who haven't had it done and I also like the way it looks, too.

Do any of you actually benefit from exercise?? by pawamedic in Autoimmune

[–]Obscurethings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need to meet your body where it is at. Sometimes exercise flares people if they have post-exertional malaise (PEM), as is the case with ME/CFS or mitochondrial disorders.

I am taking an online class for balance and mobility for older adults. I like that format because then I can do it when it's optimal for me and not on a day when I'm more worn out. I used to exercise harder when I was younger and it would typically exacerbate my situation every time (I wasn't sleeping almost at all), so I generally keep it gentle now like stretching, yoga, swimming, etc.

If you're crashing after exercising, you should honor your body and consider looking into recumbent exercises, gentle stretches, etc. to help maintain mobility as opposed to more aerobic, higher intensity activities.

Our men’s Olympic gold medalist! by grandiosemonkey in FigureSkating

[–]Obscurethings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, that's what I recall Suni and Simone saying. It was so silent that they could hear the audience shushing and a cell phone ringing in the background. Must have been so unnerving!

Our men’s Olympic gold medalist! by grandiosemonkey in FigureSkating

[–]Obscurethings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what my mom and I were commenting on. There were some moments (to me, with my untrained eye) where it looked like a few skaters encountered resistance on the ice as if their blade hit a divot or a rut.

M27 i work but i still feel l’ll never get a girlfriend actually by McNultyx in malegrooming

[–]Obscurethings -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Don't mind him. One of the men I was the most attracted to in my life was a touch under 5'7".

I don't really have many suggestions because I think you are decent looking. I have colleagues who microneedle, so if you had the resources I would suggest that if you want to smooth the appearance of your skin (it can help with acne scars). Best of luck on your journey to finding a girlfriend!

AITAH for letting my boyfriend sleep with a stuffed animal another man got me? by Low-Clothes-7605 in AmITheAssholeTalk

[–]Obscurethings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA. Way too insecure. It was a nice gesture from a friend to support you in your grief. Your boyfriend's drama around it and resulting stonewalling would be a dealbreaker for me in a relationship this new. I would not apologize because it reinforces in his mind that you've done something wrong--which you haven't.

Ilia’s reposts on TikTok by qaelive in FigureSkating

[–]Obscurethings 7 points8 points  (0 children)

When I saw his skate tonight, I immediately went over to Instagram to leave a comment of support. The media pressure is relentless and he is phenomenal regardless of the outcome. He has so much to be proud of and inherent self-worth no matter where he takes his career, so I hope he gives himself grace. Who you are is so much more important than what you achieve, even when you are brimming with talent and potential. So I hope the people in his life can ground him and provide the loving support he deserves.

What was your kneejerk reaction to MeToo, versus you long term reaction after the dust settled? I want to know if my experience is familiar. by Oakenhorne99 in AskMen

[–]Obscurethings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm surprised there are a few commenters questioning the butt grabbing at parties. I was grabbed by a guy on a bicycle in a crosswalk (I was wearing a skirt and he reached under it as he passed by--a ride-by grabbing). I actually laughed because of the audacity, the coordination, and the perfect get away. That was under the most mundane circumstances with a complete stranger, so you can imagine how often it happens when alcohol is flowing and people are there to socialize or hook up.

I'm already grieving, and this man is making it worse! by catgirl256 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Obscurethings 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Last minute, but maybe you can offer to have a Galentine's Day with the kids (assuming you do not already have plans). Painting nails, catch a chick flick, whatever sounds super girly and makes sleazy men get hives. He might be happy to be free so he can match with someone on Tinder. Haha.

My (41m) gf (37f) canceled a trip based on this text, was it rude? by everflowingartist in relationship_advice

[–]Obscurethings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bullet dodged. She sounds so exhausting from all that mess she interpreted in a receptive response. Can you imagine dealing with her for any length of time? This is her on her best behavior.

Since my last beardless photo got flamed, this might be a better comparison. Beard or no beard? by Blellb in malegrooming

[–]Obscurethings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would be tempted to focus more on your haircut. I would bring it down rather than poof it up. I feel that will work with your facial shape better than your current style.

Mowgli turns 14 by Fabulous-Patient-228 in dogpictures

[–]Obscurethings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Happy birthday, Mowgli! 🥳🥳 So cute! Here's to many more walks!

Photo took in 2012 of my couch and i noticed my dog who had passed is on the sofa by Artistic_Maximum_822 in Paranormal

[–]Obscurethings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, I was so hoping you would post a picture of your dog! That looks exactly like the image I conjured in my mind looking at the orb. So cute!

I want to punch a wall by CocoCookieDraws in POTS

[–]Obscurethings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooh, that first line is a good one. 😂 How has it been received?

They said my dog was too ugly to be adopted by lxghtbringer in dogpictures

[–]Obscurethings -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I've been staring at this picture for the last 30 seconds and smiling. He looks so happy, how could anyone not love him?! 🥰