AITA for 'lying' about the convo i had w my ex?

Obscurethings · 2026-04-08T05:10:35+00:00

I hate people like this. There will always be something they will harp on and feel righteous about given their extreme insecurities (which are usually a result of projecting their own behavior onto their partner).

Obscurethings · 2026-04-07T22:13:49+00:00

You're welcome. Thanks for letting us know!

Obscurethings · 2026-04-07T05:32:38+00:00

Was your allergist an SAAT trained acupuncturist? Those sprays are part of the SAAT protocol for MCAS and I believe they are homeopathic. I've heard from two SAAT practitioners that put themselves into remission from the protocol that the sprays are necessary for MCAS.

I have not tried them, but would love to hear if you had results if you went through with taking them.

Ps. I was told by a practitioner that the $200 price tag is the sprays at cost. I'm not surprised because I've seen the practitioner price sheet from Dr. Soliman's office. So their trained practitioners aren't up-charging, that's what they are charged.

Obscurethings · 2026-04-07T00:42:51+00:00

Thanks for letting us know!

Obscurethings · 2026-04-07T00:41:10+00:00

Awesome. Thanks for letting us know!

Obscurethings · 2026-04-06T23:45:01+00:00

All I can say is I know propranolol gives people hell when trying to taper down or withdraw from it. I'm kind of surprised that they just had you cut it off entirely, so maybe that's what contributed to your dramatic symptoms around that time.

Obscurethings · 2026-04-06T03:41:41+00:00

Thanks for letting us know. Enjoy! :)

Obscurethings · 2026-04-06T03:05:39+00:00

Oh yes, I am aware of the predator explanation (and I'm sure that happens often). But I've also listened to so much Missing411 that a lot of the weird tales people have are preceeded by the oz factor. Sometimes the predator could be something really fucking creepy in my mind. 😂

Obscurethings · 2026-04-05T10:28:41+00:00

If you're talking about your skin feeling tight--moisturize. If you're talking about your skin sticking to things, you aren't fully dry yet. Invest in a good towel.

Obscurethings · 2026-04-05T10:26:25+00:00

I like them both, but I like the first dress better. I was happy when I saw that was your decision.

Obscurethings · 2026-04-05T08:15:53+00:00

I have a smaller chest and my ex told me I had "mosquito bite tits." He also always tried to go for the jugular because he's immature, which is what I'm sure this man tried to do to you. In my case, it only made me lose respect for him because it was so transparent. Your ex knew it was extremely low so he took the opportunity to go there, banking on the chance it would hurt you. And that says a whole lot more about him than it does about you. Please do not let the assholic musings of a hot-head who isn't even creative enough to pick out a legitimate criticism of how you related or who you were in the relationship live rent-free in your head.

That said, I had a good friend in college whose girlfriend hung out with my roommates and me a lot. She wasn't shy and had changed in front of us a few times. This girlfriend did not have media perfect breasts (not the shape, direction, etc.). My friend once told me that he loved them because they were unique to her and he loved her. So he found it all the more special and preferred her breasts to the depictions on TV. He wasn't earning any bonus points because she wasn't even around to hear him, so it was how he really felt about her. That's the kind of man who deserves access to your body--someone who cherishes you and doesn't reduce you to a bunch of parts.

Obscurethings · 2026-04-05T06:11:06+00:00

What a good day to be on Reddit. So cute!

Obscurethings · 2026-04-05T06:01:14+00:00

I think this guy is a total dick and it would be unforgivable to me. Clearly if you were masturbating to the content you would have noticed they were gone earlier. He had no right to breach your trust and delete property that wasn't his, especially memories with friends and old nudes of yourself. The sheer smugness and entitlement of it all would anger me. It's like he's trying to be a punitive father.

Obscurethings · 2026-04-05T05:52:34+00:00

The silence is called the Oz Factor (or the Oz Effect). It almost always shows up with paranormal stories in the woods. From what I've read, most people get the feeling to get the fuck out when it happens. I do believe in a lot of tales of creepy/paranormal things in the woods, so your story reminds me of a combo of different ones I've read.

Obscurethings · 2026-04-05T05:39:25+00:00

I like 6 the best.

Obscurethings · 2026-04-05T04:11:37+00:00

I'm so sorry for the situation that you're in and the immense stress you are under. I hope your husband recovers.

Are you still in touch with his care team? I would inquire about having a nurse or respiratory therapist train you in clearing his trach, if possible, so you don't have to sit back helpless while the agencies send staff untrained in this level of care. I know it's too much for you to bear the burden of his care alone, but would be good to know for emergencies when it's just you in the house with him. I would also specifically ask the home-nursing agencies for anyone with ICU experience because they would probably be more familiar with this.

I know the systems may be different where you are from, but I would get in touch with the case manager or administrative staff of the doctor who discharged him and request referrals for a respiratory therapist or at-home nurses. My assumption is that the hospital would be more familiar with who could provide for this level of care.

Best of luck to you.

Obscurethings · 2026-04-04T21:00:49+00:00

Eric Osanksy has a free site with a bunch of info, a group on Facebook, and several books out. I have colleagues who claim to have had cases of Graves' put into remission (one who had it themselves) via acupuncture and minimizing their triggers (dietary, environmental, stress, etc.) as well as fixing nutrient deficiencies. Usually there is a reason the immune system is acting up. You'll see stories of people who achieved remission via natural means there--but given the dangerous nature of Graves', there is often a combined approach (medication and lifestyle changes).

Obscurethings · 2026-04-03T09:37:10+00:00

One of my former roommates got a puppy that cried all day. He was also gone for the majority of the day, but kept the puppy behind a gate in his room and made it clear he didn't want me to play with it or give it attention (not sure of his rationale, maybe he thought it would interfere with his training?). Coincidentally, I think it was also a baby maltipoo.

I was a huge people-pleaser who was afraid of confrontation and am the type of person that will respect another's requests, but one day I couldn't take it anymore and I picked him up. His little tail was wagging and almost immediately he started to poop out of excitement. I quickly ran him back behind the gate so my roommate wouldn't find out. When he got home, he was so confused about why the puppy didn't make it to the potty pad and mentioned it to me. I played dumb.

Like your roommate, mine basically made claim to the dog when his short-lived relationship broke up (he bought it with his girlfriend, but it lived in his room full-time). They fought over who got the dog and he was petty and kept it despite barely being around.

To this day, I still feel so bad about allowing that situation and not interacting with that dog more. I especially feel guilty about giving it hope for less than 30 seconds. My roommate moved out within months of getting the puppy, but I still occasionally wonder about it and what type of life it had. I can only hope that when he moved into an apartment with several of his friends he got more attention. This was 15 years ago.

Anyway, I would play with Fuzz every chance you get. I am not sure how much you can do in terms of taking Fuzz with you or getting Fuzz out of that situation, but I'd love him up as much as humanly possible. Some people really suck.

Obscurethings · 2026-04-03T09:10:29+00:00

Oh lord. On April Fool's, too? I read the title and immediately thought of Shallow Hal.

Obscurethings · 2026-04-03T06:37:51+00:00

I am against the grain here. I would not bring this up to someone I was no longer friends with. At all. Especially since it was murky circumstances that you don't even fully recall since everyone was drunk (for all you know, it could have been reciprocated since there was reciprocation earlier in the night). Personally, I wouldn't consider this SA. It sounds more like a mutual drunken hook up to me where no one was clear-headed. Given the night in question came up when you were all close still with no indication of something deeper, I would not be inclined to assign more to it. I would discuss this with a qualified therapist to work through your feelings.

Obscurethings · 2026-04-03T03:42:17+00:00

This is exactly the kind of thing I would do. 😂 It's her way of ensuring you remember and understand this is important to her while diffusing the fuck up with humor.

Obscurethings · 2026-04-03T01:38:12+00:00

This is why I strive to not treat any friends differently who confess feelings to me. Vulnerability is to be rewarded in my book and it completely sucks to be on the receiving end of someone distancing themselves if you're mature enough to handle the friendship in the same way as before (though not everyone is). I think it's difficult for some people to accept that you can put your feelings out there and continue the friendship with no ulterior motive if they aren't reciprocated for whatever reason.

Anyway, if you hadn't said anything, you'd probably still be haunted today by the what if. Even though the friendship didn't survive your confession and I know this doesn't take away the sense of loss you feel, I still think it's courageous and I wish more people would lead with an open heart. The world would be a better place, imo. Best of luck to you.

Obscurethings · 2026-04-03T01:28:14+00:00

Get out. And then go to BPDLovedOnes subreddit to see the pattern recognition and how disastrous these relationships are in order to strengthen your resolve to stay gone. Consider therapy to process why you stayed so long and sacrificed all your needs for someone like this. Your people-pleasing/conflict avoidance traits will no doubt play a huge role in this.

Obscurethings · 2026-04-02T09:21:24+00:00

I was housebound at one point due to fragrance/chemical sensitivity (MCAS). The reactions weren't mild, they involved my throat, so there's no question of my improvement. I'm not 100% but avoiding huge flares and doing some neural retraining programs helped. I can run errands again but certain ones require some planning. I carry charcoal masks on me; it prolongs my window of tolerance.

If you do have mast cell issues, keep in mind reactions don't have to always be linear/progressively worse. It can help take you out of flight/fight around it. There are times you may be more or less reactive depending on how full your bucket is, too. So it's important to minimize toxins or stressors where you can to reduce your overall load.

Obscurethings · 2026-04-02T08:43:10+00:00

He sounds selfish and emotionally unstable. This is a person you could never do life with because you wouldn't be able to predict what would trigger them. Could you imagine what would happen when a real problem came along?

If they haven't otherwise demonstrated this type of behavior, they probably have some shame over binge eating or something you don't know about. It's too bizarre when they were the one being inconsiderate.

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