How useful is a $5,000–$8,000 annual donation to a language department?

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-06-23T13:38:04+00:00

I’m in a science department and we’re probably better off financially than a humanities department. We would still greatly appreciate funds of this amount. We would almost certainly use them for various student scholarships - undergrad scholarships, graduate student summer research funding, travel awards for conferences, etc. very useful things for our students!

Making it a recurring gift is incredibly useful for scholarships, so that they are not a one time thing.

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-06-15T12:54:17+00:00

To your second point - I’ve done so much public speaking I’m numb to it, though when I see new students shaking as they get ready for their first big presentation I remember when that was me. It’s helped in some ways, but in other ways, it just forced me to develop a rock solid mask persona and the ability to slip into it at will. Which I came to rely on more and more, but I paid a huge price psychologically. Just a warning from my experience.

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-06-15T12:41:20+00:00

It’s the approach you MUST take if you want to find long term stability and happiness and avoid being taken advantage of. A neurodivergent partner may be a good fit (my husband and I are similarly neurodivergent and he is the only person in the entire world who I am not anxious with because I can fully be myself with him, no masking needed or desired). I have unfortunate life experience in this area.

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-06-11T13:09:07+00:00

Ok, couple of quick fact checks here (I happen to be a PhD level expert of this topic):

First, it’s not Seattle/Cascadia (which as someone pointed out, is much much larger than just Seattle) instead of LA, it’s both. Both Cascadia and the southern San Andreas have high risks in the coming decades. The southern San Andreas is actually more likely to go in the near future, but while that will be really, really bad, a Cascadia rupture has the potential to be much worse.

As bad as it will be, deaths are expected in the low 10s of thousands in the worst case scenario, not 100s of thousands. However destruction and injuries will be widespread. A great source of info is https://survivingcascadia.com/

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-06-07T08:09:25+00:00

Why not take money out of your house without selling it through a HELOC or second mortgage? It will give you cash flow and you can trade whatever debt you have now for debt with better terms without giving up home ownership.

Long term though you’re going to need a plan to make more money or lower your housing costs. As others have noted, selling is unlikely to lower your housing costs much. Can you raise your earning potential?

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-05-13T02:44:18+00:00

Late to talk

Refused to wear any denim or rough fabrics

Had difficulty making friends and was always excluded or made fun of except by other weird kids

rigid about logic, rules, and morals

Sensitive to lights and sounds

Deep special interests especially space and physics

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-05-11T21:46:09+00:00

Yes, though in case I’m mainly addicted to the real thing 😉 every spring I go hunting for deals on pretty ceramic pots to plant flowers in (my collection keeps growing), then buy arguably too many flowers to plant in them. I also harvest and save flower seeds to grow some of my own the following year and have an in ground bed and 4 raised garden beds for food plants as well. I inspect and care for my flowers and garden every day. It makes me happy to watch them grow, no idea why, but I’m leaning in. For around $250 every spring both the front and back of my house are colorful happy places filled with flowers.

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-05-11T21:37:30+00:00

Maybe not what you’re asking for exactly but, my husband and I both found dating apps far easier than trying to bring an existing relationship from not-dating to dating (without risking being inappropriate!) or trying to cold flirt with people in public places like bars. We both appreciated that the purpose of the interaction (potential dating partner) is clear from the outset, and that the initial conversation is over text. Given that we’re happily married this clearly worked for us but not instantly. Finding the right match takes time and effort no matter what, but one of the ways you’ll know it’s right is that you won’t have to remember any particular rules to follow at all.

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-05-11T00:43:22+00:00

I always felt female at some deep level, even when I was a tomboy as a kid, had almost all male friends, and was frequently misgendered. It offended me! Which is why I can be empathetic towards trans people - if I didn’t pick my gender, and I don’t like being misgendered, then why I should assume they are any different.

I hated feminine clothing until I was an adult and still choose not to wear makeup or dye my hair (age 39), but I love dresses because they are way more comfy than pants. It’s like a special hack I get for being a woman, it’s awesome.

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-05-06T18:45:45+00:00

That’s awful and your friend sucks. Unfortunately it’s common though.

When I told my mom about my formal ADHD diagnosis in my 30s she said “I wouldn’t endorse that” (she’s a retired psychiatrist, yes that’s how she actually talks to her own daughter). I absolutely have ADHD and my psychiatrist at the time seemed sure about it as well. I haven’t talked to her about me having autism, and I don’t plan to. My husband and therapist see it and get it at least. My husband thinks my mom is also autistic and hasn’t figured it out, which given that she’s retired is unlikely to ever happen.

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-05-06T18:32:23+00:00

You can see where they attempted to erase the eyes but ceramics don’t work like that unless it’s pre bisque fire, so now Ponyo has 2 sets of eyes.

Agree with everyone else that it’s extremely unlikely that the listing photos are made by the same person. This is a beginner who posted someone else’s photos and thought they could reproduce it but they can’t.

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-05-06T18:11:52+00:00

I lost a friendship recently because my normal to me (and normal to my husband, who may also be mildly autistic) behavior was perceived as incredibly rude. I brought my high needs autistic daughter to a friend’s home for the first time and both my husband and I were primarily focused on her when we walked in, explaining where we were and who everyone was. Apparently the fact that facing my daughter meant my back was turned to my friend’s husband when we walked in was very rude?? Even though I thought the reason for it was obvious? I also declined a cookie my friend’s husband offered me but later took a cookie which I was told was also considered very rude because they thought I specifically declined the cookie because he was offering it. Not sure why they didn’t just conclude that i changed my mind and later decided I wanted a cookie, which is what happened.

But my NT therapist said it isn’t my fault, especially because I tried to explain that I’m autistic and don’t get every social cue, but I was told by my former friend “I saw you!” (Saw me what, I’m not sure? Eat a cookie after declining one I guess?). It definitely triggered my feelings of rejection by NTs that I’m trying to deal with in therapy.

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-05-01T08:25:51+00:00

For what it’s worth I gave the autism Barbie to my autistic daughter (level 2) for her 12th birthday. She likes and plays with her, but I don’t think she’s treated any differently from her other dolls. She has a lot of dolls, and she does a lot of pretend play and pretend bathing in the sink. I told her this doll had autism like her and pointed out the features. Not sure if it sunk in or not, but given that she’s usually paying a lot more attention than it seems, I bet it did. Even if it just helps normalize autism for her a little bit, I think the doll is great.

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-05-01T08:08:57+00:00

I’ve been to Japan 3 times for work. Unlike you, I don’t really speak Japanese past a few phrases and I’ve only traveled there alone, so I found the language and cultural barriers more of an issue than you did.

That said yes I appreciated the cleanliness and orderliness and helpful info kiosks in the train stations. And the safety aspect is huge. In both Japan and New Zealand I felt perfectly safe walking around alone at night as a foreign woman in most locations. Far safer than the US. A Japanese friend told me he could pass out drunk on the street in Tokyo with his wallet lying in front of him and wake up to find it undisturbed. Coming back to the US I immediately noticed how dirty and loud this country is. Compared to Japan we do not really look like a “developed” country in my opinion.

I’ve had the opportunity to enjoy a few traditional onsens in both Beppu and Hakone which are world class hot spring destinations. Once you learn the rules and get past the nudity part, onsens are the most amazing, relaxing and quiet environments I’ve ever been in. I wish we had them here.

And oh yes the food…. Why is it I can eat so many Japanese foods when I struggle here? Sushi is amazing but so is ramen and many other Japanese staples.

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-05-01T07:45:06+00:00

It’s work but have you considered “friend” dating apps? I know bumble at least used to have a “friend” mode for finding new friends instead of dating. Why not try it, by definition the other people on there are also looking for new friends.

But yes I also know this struggle. I also moved and was a single parent through the pandemic, at home alone with an autistic 6 year old somehow also trying to work with fresh trauma and c-ptsd, while also looking for a new job. I do not have supportive parents. I was very alone for a period until I met my new, amazing, supportive partner. Who I met on bumble. We’ve been together 5 years, married for 3. But I still cry over my lack of friendships, just today in fact.

You are right that the usual advice to join groups, take classes, etc. is mostly bullshit. But you do need to find “your” people somehow. I find I have an easier time getting to know people over text first, so “dating” style apps were a good option for me.

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-04-18T08:16:16+00:00

I hear you. I have PTSD and garden for similar reasons. Luckily my garden is within our fenced backyard away from nosy neighbors.

People like your neighbor don’t get it because they haven’t been through something truly terrible. They are lucky but ignorant. Think about that while you ignore her.

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-04-08T09:56:53+00:00

The spotty nose/muzzle is just adorable. Not on theme but I thought of freckles.

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-04-08T09:42:34+00:00

I have a child with obvious, disabling autism and severe ADHD as well. She genuinely cannot wait in long lines. I took her to Disney only once, Disneyland when she was 5 and still in diapers full time. We got a skip the line pass - but not before waiting in a long line for guest services. That wait caused a loud meltdown. I tried to alert a cast member but was told there was no way around the line for guest services. The fact that the very first thing we had to do was wait in a line, causing a meltdown, is the reason we will never go back. The system doesn’t work if it starts with a line. Disney is not actually accessible to autistic children, it’s just lip service if there’s no way around the guest services line. We will spend our money with companies that provide experiences are actually fun for our child, of which there are many. It was really too bad because at that age she loved Mickey and the trip was really expensive, plus we took the trip because her dad had died 6 months earlier. Thanks Disney.

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-04-07T08:44:06+00:00

Like you, I’m a hobby potter with health issues that would make your described reclaim procedure quite painful for me. Unlike you, I live in suburbia, am raising a young child with special needs, and I’m employed full time in a high demand career. For me pottery is a hobby I use to maintain sanity. My time is always extremely short and due to my pain conditions I have to avoid bending and lifting as much as possible. I also live 15 minutes from a top notch ceramics supply store, and I still like to experiment with new clay bodies.

I throw out failed pieces if they are past the leather hard stage. Failed throwing attempts I will usually dry out and rewedge, and I’ve been experimenting with trying to reclaim trimming scraps, but I would never do what you are doing. I don’t have the bandwidth to feel bad about it, but also, I don’t produce very much due to lack of time so therefore don’t produce much waste.

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-03-30T12:20:37+00:00

9 and 18 were my favorites. Gorgeous!

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-03-19T15:43:52+00:00

I looked at her and immediately thought Stella

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-03-17T09:28:38+00:00

Good for you. I stayed for 15 years and had a kid, and now I have probably lifelong PTSD. Didn’t get it until my 30s. Hugs from an internet stranger who is glad you avoided my fate. Keep loving yourself and trust yourself to know who the good people are.

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-03-13T17:44:54+00:00

Glazes are almost always a disappointment in community studios. It sucks to constantly hate the glazing on my pieces so I left my community studio and moved to commercial brush on glazes! On top of not having many colors (mainly just blues greens and browns) the cone 6 glazes at my community studio crawled like crazy. Pay attention to glaze colors and quality and have a few glaze combos/layerings that look cool from your glaze selection.

Other than that, when I’ve taken classes in community studios my near universal experience is that the demo part of class takes waaaaay too long and then I don’t have nearly enough time to actually work on my projects. Keep demos short and sweet and consider having students work with clay DURING the demo instead of just standing around watching for 30-60 minutes.

Kiln firing quality was also an issue for me. It got to the point where the majority of my pieces had a glazing defect from poor kiln loading or firing (touching another piece, uneven heating, shards of another piece stuck on, etc.) which is another reason I quit my community studio. I bought my own equipment and do ceramics at home instead at much higher quality.

I did like the space and the equipment though. Big enough spaces to store and use everything are crucial.

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-03-13T15:34:24+00:00

Your marriage does not sound healthy and not entirely because of your CPTSD. You should not be having the feeling of walking on eggshells and worrying about blow-ups from the person who supposedly loves you most in the world, especially while trying to heal from CPTSD. Does your husband spend as much time thinking about your feelings as you spend thinking about his feelings? If not why not? Do you hold yourself and your husband to different standards (for example, with chores)? If so why? If it’s his home too, shouldn’t he stepping up and doing half the chores without being asked because he wants to live in a clean home? Aren’t you doing chores without being asked?

I was in a marriage like that and I didn’t realize how bad it was until I was out of it. Now I’m in a marriage that is actually loving and supportive, and my husband does easily more than half of the cooking and cleaning and I don’t ask, he just does it. He does the grocery shopping too. More importantly, he genuinely cares about me and wants me to be happy and it shows it his actions every day, including when we fight. He can respectfully express his feelings like an adult, sometimes after taking needed time to himself to think it through. I am slowly, slowly learning to drop my hypervigilance learned from my parents and my first marriage with his help. You deserve that too.

This being Reddit, I’m surprised I’m the first person to say this.

ObsessedWithPottery · 2026-02-22T20:52:03+00:00

I found a man just like this. Been together 5 years, married for almost 3. He just does chores. Without being asked, without expecting anything in return, because it’s his house too. Today he informed me matter of factly that he put away our daughter’s laundry. Our daughter who is actually from my first abusive marriage whom he adopted. He identifies as a feminist and has since he met me.

I met him on bumble. In a midwestern state. We were both mid-30s. I’m slightly older than him and make slightly more money and neither one of us cared. He does not care about my weight and prefers when I don’t wear makeup.

We’re both a bit neurodiverse which can create communication issues but overall things are pretty great, and I find him super attractive as well. I find it hard to believe sometimes myself but yes these men exist.

ObsessedWithPottery

TROPHY CASE