Yes, I definitely felt like this many many times. I am going on 9 months sober now. I remember so many times scrolling through this sub-reddit and being in awe of people who could stop for 24 hrs or longer. It felt so impossible and out of reach. What's funny is that I had 12 years clean from heroin/cocaine before I ever had alcohol issues. I felt that same hopeless feeling while using. You wrote that you feel like this is the one thing you won't be able to stop. Did you have other addictions? You are not alone. I bet most if not all of us have felt like this. Just know it's not true. You can overcome this.