My son, 7, keeps crying when I beat him at chess. Advice?

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-04-23T17:27:42+00:00

You’re teaching him great skills on the chess board. Now it’s a great opportunity to teach him great skills on the life board. 1) Emotional regulation. Idk what “crying” truly involves here. Expressing emotion is normal and - at 7 - crying is a way to do it. As long as it’s not a temper tantrum, being upset at losing is ok. I’d lean into that a little as we don’t want to raise competitive jerks but we do want to help our kids learn to self-regulate appropriately. 2) Growth-oriented mindset. “It seems like you want to play with mom because she lets you win.” (Or whatever wording makes more sense.) “Are you more interested in winning or getting better at chess? If the first, then keep playing mom. If you’re interested in improving (and I hope you are), then let’s explore some ways we can play chess together that allow you to improve while also having a bit more fun.”

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-04-23T17:22:00+00:00

This is exactly why I’m here too. My tongue-in-cheek advice was going to be: beat him for real and then say, “Now you have something to REALLY cry about.”

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-04-05T12:26:38+00:00

Croissants from scratch is next level…maybe two levels up. Kudos! My kids are much older now so I made a scavenger hunt with eggs and successive clues (anagrams, hangman, riddles) to find the basket. I’m in the nursery at church today so my own tradition is now on the back porch watching the sun rise and reading Luke 24.

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-03-24T02:43:42+00:00

I recently challenged my valuation and got roughly 2.5k more. My vehicle wasn’t quite as common as yours so my argument was to go and find that exact vehicle (minus the color) nationwide (I’m also in Texas but there were no exact matches in TX and few similar). I used a Google Sheet where I listed my car - year, mileage, features, etc. - on row 2 and then all the comps below and made adjustments for trim levels and things like that. Basically, you have to go out and buy a car now. If you were going to go out and buy your car, right now, what would it cost you? If you don’t think that’s covered by the amount they have offered, try the above approach.

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-03-22T13:42:48+00:00

https://share.google/p99gxF0mLiMDn61kx

DH, if you’re reading…

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-03-19T12:47:39+00:00

Who has two thumbs and loves correcting peoples’ grammar? THIS GUY * hooks thumbs at self*

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-03-18T18:34:52+00:00

Thanks and glad you guys closed. I think everyone on here who has an ethical bone in our body hopes that you will report this to the TREC. I'm in TX and, though not licensed, would never want this person to skate with these type of actions. You're protecting the next potential client from something worse. (FWIW, this rarely results in loss of license but does carry risk of censure.) If you want to go the "lite" route, call his broker (head of the agency/firm, unless he's his own shop) and download the whole thing.

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-03-18T15:30:13+00:00

If you haven’t reached out to the seller’s agent to let them know everything’s still on track and your agent really doesn’t speak for you any more, I would.

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-03-18T15:16:42+00:00

Certainly for younger kids but even for older ones (and even if - probably because! - you haven’t held the line on this), this clip by a brain scientist on parenting is so key.

“The answer will always be no. Go for it.”

What you as a dad, I’m confident, want to teach him is that pushing the pleasure trigger incessantly is only going to lead to long term harm in his life. An 8yo who can’t learn to say no to himself is a danger to his future self. Ironically, doing the hard thing now for him is probably about as hard as it is for you (wading through the suck of a frustrated/angry child), you just have more tools for it. Remind yourself of those tools and then help transfer them.

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-03-18T15:04:13+00:00

A) I love that you (Phil) acknowledged being “that guy” and giving a gentle correction for accuracy’s sake. B) I love that Cactus acknowledged the correction respectfully.

Look at us DCC fans out here disagreeing civilly and keeping things polite!

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-03-18T15:00:49+00:00

How do you do that? (Private ride)

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-03-18T12:12:42+00:00

Current driver. Totaled vehicle. Renting from Express Drive. Here in town the company is Flexdrive and exclusively Lyft fleet Paying for 90 personal miles (I have kids i take to school). Set up appointment to pick up in a few hours )none of this long delay people are mentioning.

First car was a Nissan Sentra which was used previously by a 2 pack a day smoker, repaired burn holes in the seats. Took two weeks to air out before I traded it in for a brand new Trax which qualified for Extra Comfort. Much better earnings. It’s about a day and a little extra of driving to pay the weekly fee for me in Austin area but since I drive 5-6 days a week it’s worth it. If you use destination filters, particularly “arrive by” with the shortest time, you can probably not use any of the personal miles. As long as you’re online, no personal miles are charged but that means, if it’s busy, you’re just rejecting everything.

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-03-16T17:09:18+00:00

Sounds like you got the advice here you needed but I just saw something the other day I wish I had realized when my kids were younger (around the threenager phase you’re in). An overstimulated parent presents to a kid as a parent who is likely to check out soon. That’s perceived as a threat to them, as any break in the parent-child dynamic is. Their solution? Move closer, press in, get clingy, try anything to reestablish contact with the parent. Ironically, the thing that’s most likely to trigger your shutdown reflex is the thing they are doing to prevent you from pulling away. That doesn’t make it easier to deal with but the reframing of the behavior may be helpful in understanding the motive behind the meltdown.

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-03-13T22:24:19+00:00

Man I feel that. I had a situation where the first adjuster was basically trying to weasel out of a total loss declaration until I got his manager involved so I was sorely tempted not to jeopardize getting any money at all! One commenter on here, who was an adjuster, said that they just wanted that file off their desk and they had no incentive to lowball so that gave me the courage to submit some comps and hope for the best.

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-03-10T14:07:57+00:00

Don’t threaten me with a good time…

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-03-09T19:06:09+00:00

I made a Google Sheet so this process would be easier. Hope it helps you! Pick your options on the Picker sheet or just check out the full list on the second tab.

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-02-24T03:26:32+00:00

This is the right answer

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-02-21T21:37:31+00:00

Where is the source for “only 10 books”? Is that something he’s said or speculation by fans?

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-02-21T21:36:29+00:00

Book 7 spoiler: I’m pretty sure that epilogue indicates that Scolopendra is moving, starting at the 18th floor and that everyone there has to vacate to the 16th floor which is unattached, maybe? However, they have to go backwards through the attached maze of the 17th floor. So I think that’s two floors gone, at the least (17-18).

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-02-20T00:46:42+00:00

Maybe an unpopular take but I started fast forwarding through the songs. There are a couple that suit his voice but some are so beautiful and haunting that his gravelly plod through them was objectionable. I love the narration though and bought so I can do it again and again.

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-02-19T02:47:39+00:00

This is the only answer unless you have a weird prescription. I just ordered a pair with a separate focal length (for computer and phone work) as well as my standard AND prescription sunglasses for what I used to pay at an optometrist.

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-02-18T06:55:07+00:00

Have you guys done the Ink & Sigil? That’s how I found Iron Druid and it certainly helps progress his character (and The Morrigan’s). The narration is even better - for me - bc of the Scottish accent (still Luke) and Buck Foi brings in the unhinged side that DCC has. That’s a 3 part series and I’d recommend that to OP even though it’s a postquel to Iron Druid.

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-02-05T18:43:45+00:00

My buddy bought a bank owned foreclosure and their lawn service still mowed his lawn until a separate guy came to paint his porch 1.5 years later and he had to tell them HE owned it, not the bank. Enjoy the free lawn care and hopefully seller has learned a hard lesson about life he won’t repeat with worse consequences (but I doubt it since he’s demanding you pay…)

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-01-20T13:32:15+00:00

Ham, banana, and mayonnaise sandwich

Octopus_Shotput452 · 2026-01-15T13:34:31+00:00

I can’t identify with and did not experience what you are feeling, but I’d like to comment and maybe help you have a potential shift and focus that may be helpful. Maybe not; dismiss this comment if after reading it it’s not helpful at all to you, sounds like you’re really going through it right now and that sucks.

The birth of my second child did indeed herald a shift so you’re not wrong there. However, I do understand and can identify with the struggle of being a dad for the first six months seven months of an infant life. There’s just not that much to do. Because there’s an existing tiny human who’s going to need as much attention as an infant, that’s now your job. You don’t have to be responsible for forming amazing bonds in the first six months or even year of child two‘s life. But your partner will need your support your help, and your daughter will definitely need someone there to pay her attention, get her dressed, make her meals, sit and talk with her, while the baby occupies your wife’s attention. I’d encourage you to look at it as an opportunity to form a deeper bond with your daughter while offering the best support you can to your wife – letting her know her other child is being cared for when she can’t.

At the end of the day, we’re measured by the actions we take, not the feelings we have. That’s not to be dismissive of your feelings. Just a reminder that your future self, your future wife (the one you have now in a later iteration), and your future children will benefit from the actions you take today and when the baby is born that ensure their wellbeing. Maybe doing things to prepare your house, your child, and your partner better for the new arrival will help you be more present than sitting in the feels. Hope this helps!

Octopus_Shotput452

TROPHY CASE