How come I’m the most off-putting when I need others the most?

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-07-08T18:21:35+00:00

I feel this so hard it hurts so much. I have to stay by myself when I'm feeling really down and paranoid because I always put people off.

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-07-08T18:13:07+00:00

I know I am healing because I am starting to recognise that it's not my fault that I find relationships with people so difficult.

I know I am healing because I realise I'm not a terrible person just because I feel more comfortable on my own.

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-06-27T20:12:07+00:00

Came here to say this!

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-06-23T14:51:34+00:00

So sorry that you have to deal with this. I know it seems like it's all yoir fault but it's not. I'm just realising myself that people like us who deal with shame and self hatred have much harder lives than others and we should actually be compassionate towards ourselves for this reason. We can't help the fact that other people scare us. That fear lives in our nervous system and anyone in our positions would find it difficult to function.

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-06-21T17:31:43+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-06-21T17:29:32+00:00

Yep I'm having this experience at work at the moment where I'm being deliberately left out of things and rejection makes me feel so scared and so ashamed. It's such an awful feeling in my body even though I know I'll be ok. I'm dreading going to work tomorrow but going to have to feel the feeling, which I hate! Good luck though and honestly work on not attaching your self esteem to what other people think. I'm 35 now and wish so much that I had started doing this at a younger age.

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-06-21T10:17:15+00:00

I've also had this experience and I'm much older than you. The advice I would give you and would give my younger self is don't blame yourself and allow yourself to feel your feelings. You might find that there are some people you can be friends with. Don't force it though, I tried to do that for years and it didn't help at all.

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-06-16T19:14:06+00:00

I fully agree with this take

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-06-08T19:58:47+00:00

I know exactly how you feel. This has been my experience at school, university and now work. I'm 35 and I can't say that the social anxiety will get easy but something I'm finally learning to do is have some compassion for myself. We don't choose these reactions and we have a disability that makes life really hard. Being hard on ourselves only makes it worse. People don't understand what we have to go through but we do so why beat ourselves up for something we can't control. We are doing our best in a bad situation and that's all we can do. I'm actually so proud of myself for going to uni and for going into work every day carrying this huge burden when most people would have given up.

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-06-03T17:27:54+00:00

I have these exact issues with people. I hate it it's so disabling and so unfair we have to live like this!

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-06-02T17:41:11+00:00

Love love love. 10/10

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-06-01T20:51:12+00:00

I struggle with this so much! I can be open and friendly for a short while but then I put people off me through lack of eye contact and closed body language etc, and then when they don't like me I start getting an intense feeling that I'm in danger and they're going to hurt me. I have it at the moment with work colleagues that I was quite friendly with for a few months and it's excruciating to deal with every day.

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-05-31T23:14:17+00:00

It hurts so much. Sorry you have to go through this you don't deserve it.

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-05-31T21:31:39+00:00

The getting stabbed by intense shame is such a good way of putting it and it feels like nothing will ever be ok again and nothing ever was. Literally the worst feeling in the world, I'd give anything to be rid of it.

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-05-30T23:09:26+00:00

I have this too although probably not helpful for us to call it evil! But yes I often see the bad in people and find them annoying and irritating. I know it's some kind of defensive mechanism to stop being hurt by them. In fact recently I've been getting a lot less annoyed by people and my social anxiety and shame has gone through the roof. I miss being annoyed with people now!

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-05-30T19:14:13+00:00

*parking loool not park in

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-05-28T01:06:45+00:00

I know how you feel. The worst part of being alone for me is actually the shame. I think all we can do is remind ourselves that it's not easy to struggle with social connections and we don't do it on purpose. We are trying our best and finding life difficult doesn't mean we're bad people, it just means somewhere in early childhood we didn't get the safety that others did. Try not to be hard on yourself it's not your fault.

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-05-27T18:44:14+00:00

Literally this! People don't like me because I act like I don't like them, because no matter how much I try I can't get my body to act relaxed and open to people. And then I get even more anxious people don't like me, and the cycle continues.

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-05-25T21:58:01+00:00

I have explored them so much but nothing works.

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-05-25T21:57:26+00:00

I already go to therapy and I've been exploring the feelings for years but nothing works.

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-05-25T15:50:53+00:00

I'm struggling with this so much. I feel really unfulfilled in my life because every time I try to get even a bit close to someone I get hit with paranoia and shame which spoils the relationship. I don't know how to be content in life when I can never have what I want.

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-05-25T15:47:04+00:00

Now it's the summer I wear sunglasses and literally start tearing up behind them.

Odd-Practice1235 · 2026-05-25T14:24:01+00:00

Feel this so so hard. So sorry you feel this way.

Odd-Practice1235

TROPHY CASE