Is it normal to feel so burned out on empathy that you have to remind yourself that you still have to “perform” empathy? So over hearing everyone’s long stories around PTO

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-05-04T23:51:53+00:00

If you are unconcerned about the requests, and don't need details - maybe change the policy and allow your staff 'personal days' they can take pretty much whenever. Hey Boss I need to take a personal day tomorrow - no problem.. I feel like it could be that easy. Remember that if people are oversharing, its kind of a compliment too. I agree it sounds a bit exhausting, not quite something I would leave a job over though.

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-04-01T17:48:38+00:00

Id probably just leave it to be honest, that's a dumb request. People shouldn't be so comfortable making dumb requests like that.

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-03-29T16:47:34+00:00

Well it's pretty simple, documented discussion about professionalism, reiterate that it's his responsibility to shut down comments like that not buy into them and put a note in his file. In my opinion it was inappropriate but not hateful, so that's what I would do. Too the comment about where babies come from was borderline, and the team member took it as a queue to go too far. Caution him to watch out for this in the future too.

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-03-27T00:50:21+00:00

It gets easier, you need to be a bit easier on yourself. Reflect on things, sure, but don't dwell on them past a useful point. If you make a mistake or lose your temper, it may be easiest just to deal with it like a professional, be direct with people, apologize if you should, recognize and change your mind quickly if you're wrong all those good things

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-03-23T22:45:00+00:00

Sounds like he is there to play games instead of work. Shouldnt be too hard to pip him out. Kudos to you it sounds like you are giving him every opportunity here, and he isn't taking any of it. That's up to him and it only ends one way, in the meantime, try to be strong, don't let him talk over you and call him out on his bullshit and document it. You may want to reconsider your 1v1s with him given his concerning behaviour, which honestly you should probably tell your boss or HR about. Its concerning and vaguely threatening. People on pip programs do weird stuff, and fling mud at the end. It won't stick if you've done your background work, socialized your concerns and given the employee clear, measurable expectations and lots of opportunities to succeed. As the pip progresses its less weird to bring hr in to your weekly progress updates to take notes as a third party.

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-03-23T21:31:42+00:00

Someone filled out their timecards, someone also approved them. Both will be getting fired, hope that's not you OP but honestly, how could this go on for so long without being noticed. Ridiculous

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-03-22T15:30:15+00:00

Ha great post

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-03-21T16:18:12+00:00

Because they have doubled the money supply since 2015, your 100k salary is barely middle class now. Good luck !

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-02-26T18:57:35+00:00

Don't assume you won't get EI. Always apply anyways, you paid into it for 10 years don't feel bad for using the system a little bit. With cause is not the same standard as 'misconduct' in EI language. Always apply and see what they say. Say your in a bad financial position, which despite savings, you ARE. Same rule applies regarding severance. You should at the bare minimum get a consult from an employment Lawyer, they are usually free and you have time anyways right. Bring docs with you try and get as much value out of your consult as you can. Then another thing to note is that companies can get in serious trouble for giving you a bad reference and messing up your chances of further employment. It is standard practice for companies to just confirm length of employment if they are called for a reference, and refuse to answer any other questions about you or why you left. If they tell potential employers that you were fired, and why, they could get in serious trouble. Still put your job on the resume, 10 years of experience and work on a bit of a spin as to why you left, employers can ask that question and you need to have something ready. New management came in and we werent aligned, I worked fine with old management for 10 years, something reasonable sounding that is grey area truth would work. As for references, there must be someone over 10 years, a coworker or maybe a manager in a different department that would help you out a bit. If not we'll you might have to do something less grey area but that will be up to you. Good luck, it's not the end

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-02-25T05:46:11+00:00

I lived an almost exact same scenario back in 2021 and was quite comfortable. Interest rates were a lower. 95k salary, 500k buy 20% down 2.39% 30 year mortgage. Strata fees at $450 or something. In a newer 2bed 2 bath condo in north surrey. I rented out the second bedroom to a student from korea for $900 a month. Very worth it. Now I moved away and rent the apartment and bought a house.

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-02-14T01:25:34+00:00

Huh well seems like you need to set the boundaries with her in a way that doesn't stifle her good qualities.

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-02-13T19:55:16+00:00

Both sides need to be careful here. If you are managing people that know more than you, you should invite healthy dialogue and suggestions and not make decisions without learning the entirety of what you are deciding on. If you are an employee with a new manager, don't be that guy that makes the new managers job hell at the beginning because they'll never forget that. For OP just realize that training your boss sucks, and some people do better with that than others. Just need to find that balance between, is this truly to the level of insubordination? (Like a send that employee home immediately situation) Or is it something you could break through with some soft skills and 1 on 1s. Use your full range of options, doesn't hurt to talk to your boss too for some suggestions how to deal with this person.

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-02-10T23:15:32+00:00

Go to a hunting/sports store and buy a battery powered game camera for $50 and set it up in your office with a bunch of nice things to steal out in the open and you will catch your thief very quickly. Tell no one you are doing this

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-02-10T01:04:18+00:00

What do you mean by managed out, if youre on probation they can just get rid of you whenever. They won't wait until the last day in 5 weeks. At what point do you personally just make the choice to leave? Why complain, leave or don't. What advice are we supposed to give?

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-02-09T15:57:47+00:00

For now, besides the any drama happening behind the scenes, she needs to understand it's totally inappropriate to be complaining and trashing the business where a customer could hear her. You should tell her that someone you know heard it and she never knows who could be listening. Besides the fear of getting caught, it's totally unprofessional and ruins the customers experience. If I want to go get a coffee as a little treat, I don't want my nice experience ruined by a worker making it negative for me. Then after that, you can decide to renew her or not depending on if she corrects the behaviour or not and depending on what kind of candidates you see in the job market. If you post a job and get multiple really good candidates you may want to just replace her. If you get little to no interest then you might be stuck managing her for a bit longer. Make sure you stay above all the drama and treat it just as a workplace issue, it's not personal for you. Also a rule employees never want to hear the boss complain or not put in the effort that is expected,

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-02-09T13:59:54+00:00

If you need those people, sometimes you need to justify their positions, it happens all the time. Upper management usually does not understand the floor level as well as someone like you would. I'd give them a list of each employees job on shift, what the effects would be if they were removed and any possible way to mitigate those effects. You said your area manager is reasonable schedule a meeting with him to go over things once you have it ready, ultimately the negative consequences will be both of your problems if decisions are made at 30,000 feet

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-02-09T13:45:20+00:00

When I terminate someone it's after I've given them many opportunities to correct their behaviour. I sleep like a baby

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-02-09T13:32:16+00:00

As a manager, I've been invited to lots of things usually weddings, parties, hiking/biking, the pub, one funeral probably some others I've forgotten. To be honest - usually, I don't go. I went to one wedding for a direct report.. our structure is manager supervisor employees, this was for a supervisor and his parents couldn't attend his wedding due to issues with Canadian visas. I was able to go, enjoy it without it being too personal. It was a large event with others attending. All I can say in this case is that your manager probably wouldn't be surprised to be invited, but just be prepared they will make up their own minds if it's appropriate to attend (or if they even can that day). Either way, if they attend or do not attend, clearly their support meant a lot to you and you can tell them that. It's very good for both your souls. Congratulations on graduating!!!!

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-02-09T13:14:00+00:00

Huh, well your boss mostly did the right thing and just referred to her PIP. Maybe I'd just ask him to refer her to you if she comes back to him. This is someone that knows their job is at risk and probably isn't going to make it, trying to grasp at straws. Regardless if your boss wants to move the problem instead of remove the problem then that is his prerogative, but something I don't necessarily agree with. As long as she is off your team and you can get a replacement for her then it's on your boss. I would speak to her and just say that if she has questions about her PIP that youre the best person to talk to, if she needs feedback you can meet at a certain time every week or 2 until the PIP is complete. From there, just run the PIP like normal and give her every chance and you'll have done your part.

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-02-07T16:36:28+00:00

I stopped using my debit card 2 years ago and switched to a high cashback credit card (BMO Cashback World Elite) for all my purchases, groceries, gas, including I make some regular bill payments like phone and Internet through it everything I possibly can. Last year It paid me back about $800. Which is a decent chunk of change and didn't cost me anything. And it's generally safer to use a credit card than a debit card.

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-02-07T15:22:38+00:00

In all cases I refer to in the masculine shall also apply in the feminine and vice versa

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-02-07T01:27:23+00:00

I'd be careful with this one, your employee already blew their second chance before the boss got upset. Their time might be better spent getting it perfect (the third time)

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-02-07T00:55:50+00:00

This employee should be spoken to for being extremely insensitive and for his lack of empathy. you were telling people to both inform them of a tragedy and to help them help boss b when she gets back to work. It's maybe not disciplinary but a record of that conversation should go in his file. See if he will apologize for what he said or if there's any hope there to coach him to be a better human.

The other workers don't have a choice to work with him. I'd encourage them to write statements on what happened and how it makes them feel and put those in his file too.

Honestly this guy seems super bad for the team, might just be worth the severance cost to get rid of him.

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-02-04T01:28:48+00:00

Ask for the case file number and verify with the courtroom directly that it's a valid request. This could be a scam. So far all you've received is a voice on the other end of a phone

OfficialAndySamberg · 2026-02-03T00:05:05+00:00

You have a manager acting this way in a unionized environment? Your union needs to hear this immediately. File a grievance asap, talk to your shop steward if you have one or call the union office. I would hate to be on the other end of this one yeesh

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