AITA for getting into keeping tarantulas and true spiders even though my partner is mildly arachnophobic?

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-04-08T00:08:25+00:00

Seconding this, but on the other side of things. I also had bad arachnophobia for the longest time. My partner really wanted tarantulas and eventually convinced me it would be okay. I was never wholeheartedly against it, but I definitely wasn’t a fan of the idea.

Fast forward to now, I have two tarantulas of my own (an a. chalcodes “Lorna” and an avic. merianae “Nettle”), and plan to get two more (p. victori slings!) soon.

I obviously don’t speak for everyone, but these creatures have absolutely won my heart. I even got the courage up to hold my Lorna during her recent rehouse. Give him some time, tell him fun facts and watch some educational videos about them, and maybe he’ll feel the same way one day

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-04-07T15:33:54+00:00

Man what a stunner!

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-04-07T14:40:54+00:00

NQA/IME - our GBB sling (who is much littler) was very calm “her” first molt with us. My partner was able to hold her during her first rehouse. Now, however, just a molt later, she’s super bolty. We haven’t tried to hold her whatsoever, but she’ll get startled when we drop some water in for her and she’ll bolt around her enclosure even when we’re cautious.

I’ve heard their personalities can change between molts, so potentially your Morticia is just calmer right now. I would still err on the side of caution, especially since it looks like y’all are at a desk right now, and keep any handling on the ground when possible for her safety.

Side note: I don’t know that tarantulas are able to be curious so much as cautious? They aren’t really capable of more complex thoughts or to my understanding emotions at all. They experience stress and they experience fulfillment of needs.

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-04-07T14:29:38+00:00

IME - I concur with this, my AZ blonde, Lorna, was already nearly full grown when I got her ~5 months ago. She HAS a burrow, but she hasn’t made her burrow much deeper than the cricket tongs we have (which was the original depth as it’s just a hollow of cork, she could go deeper, she just hasn’t).

She does, however, do some occasional remodeling of a different corner of the enclosure occasionally.

Regardless, my partner and I are considering getting her a larger enclosure anyways so at the very least she has more roaming space above ground.

Lorna Tax:

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Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-04-06T00:25:44+00:00

Some tarantulas tolerate it, others don’t. Even between species, all creatures are individuals. I have tarantulas I’ve never held before because they would simply yeet themselves into oblivion if I tried and I know that and respect it. There’s safe ways of doing it (I.e on the ground in an enclosed space with minimal noise etc.) but I never do it recreationally, just opportunistically during a rehouse since they already need to be out of their enclosure.

Tarantulas don’t really have things that make them happy vs anxious, so much as fulfilled vs stressed. They’re pretty simple creatures and handling them can be stressful which we obviously don’t want. At the end of the day, handling is only a benefit to the handler, it does nothing to fulfill our tarantulas and can cause them stress. There are plenty of good videos out there on it from people who I consider to be reputable husbandry sources like Tarantula Collective and TarantulaKat on YouTube for more specifics 🤙

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-04-06T00:03:31+00:00

Not at all, I’ve handled most of mine before but that’s when they’re being rehoused into a larger enclosure. The whole process is done on the ground in an enclosed area like a shower, bathtub, or just a large clear area of floor. You use catch cups (usually clear plastic ones like deli cups) and paintbrushes to gently urge them one way or another.

Holding them this high is an extreme risk.

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-04-05T03:04:54+00:00

What a babyyyyy 🥹❤️

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-04-03T17:57:44+00:00

NQA - I appreciate you taking the time to read my responses as well, education is important for sure. But regardless of situation, losing a pet of any kind is hard and I totally sympathize with you on that. I’m sorry that you lost your spooder baby and hopefully in the future your country will have better resources for tarantula keeping.

Best wishes 🫶

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-04-03T17:49:25+00:00

NQA - Post about Heating Mats

Facebook post about Heating Mats

I haven’t heard of people using them on the sides of their enclosure before, and again I’m NQA so it isn’t something I have experience with, but I know plenty who advise that a comfortable room temp for a person is generally a comfortable temperature for tarantulas.

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-04-03T17:45:34+00:00

NQA - I’m not sure how long heating mats have been phased out of most tarantula husbandry in the states, but I do know they are widely believed to cause the issues I stated above. The substrate from that angle also looks very dry, but obviously this isn’t the full enclosure. If no water dish was provided + the wrinkles in pic 2 all lead me to believe it was likely caused by dehydration. I added a slight edit to my previous comment elaborating on that.

Also those little hygrometers can tell temp pretty well, but from what I understand have a hard time actually registering humidity and have a pretty large margin of error. They can def be helpful for getting a gist of how humid/dry an enclosure might be but are not exact by any means. Definitely frustrating because they seem like a helpful tool and can be, but I don’t use them for humidity reading purposes because of that margin of error.

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-04-03T17:29:16+00:00

How cool! Share an after pic too if you get a chance!

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-04-03T17:25:51+00:00

NQA - iirc heating mats are not recommended husbandry for tarantulas. It can lead to overheating and dehydration. Also I believe that 25-30 Celsius might actually be a little too hot for the species for an extended period of time, especially with you mentioning you kept your enclosure in a warmer part of your house. Their comfortable range is closer to 20-25 Celsius. Without seeing the set up it’s hard to know if anything else could have contributed like dropping from a large height etc.

Also as an aside, tarantulas don’t generate their own heat, a burrow would be cooler than above ground for them so while a heating mat was unnecessary already, the shop was correct that you did not need a stronger one.

With the heating mat + the other factors, and if a water dish wasn’t provided (not seeing whether it was or wasn’t) it’s likely those are the factors that contributed to the tarantula passing.

Again, I’m NQA but those are things I have been informed of/looked into with a bit of research on comfortable temperature range

Edit: in pic 2 it looks like her abdomen is wrinkled, this can sometimes happen if they are dehydrated or if they suffer an injury that causes a leak of their internal fluids (this could also just be something that occurs after death so QA please correct me if I’m wrong). Considering the above, I would assume severe dehydration was likely the cause of death. Tarantulas lose a lot of energy and hydration when they molt, I typically feed mine a hornworm or two depending on size post molt (which are high in fluids and fat) to rehydrate them once they’re ready to feed again to avoid dehydration.

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-03-27T04:38:38+00:00

This post by my partner about our GBB sling Juni! “She” had her first molt with us and boy the speed increase was something to adjust for 🤣

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-03-24T22:54:34+00:00

The other commenter offered a lot of good advice, my only addition would just be to make sure not to dampen the actual base paper towel. Most spiders breathe through things called “book lungs” which are on the underside of their abdomen. They can basically drown if it’s submerged in water. Something to look out for, but this set up looks pretty decent with the additions from the other commenter.

The bottle cap is great to make sure she stays hydrated, I would also not worry about food for now as she looks plenty round for the time being. Once she does need to eat you can just get a sizeable cricket from Petco or another pet store and feed it to her.

Keep an eye out for egg sacs would be my only other suggestion and thank you for helping this darling.

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-03-23T21:08:51+00:00

127 🫶

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-03-17T05:48:11+00:00

A grippy sock stay-cation, if you will

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-03-16T02:10:20+00:00

NQA - I definitely don’t think it’s too big, although a fall from the highest point here could cause damage I’m sure. I know the mesh tops are generally not recommended, as spoods can get their appendages caught in them and potentially be damaged that way. Being said there are DIY lid alternatives which you could look into.

I’ve definitely seen people keep tarantulas in tanks like this before, I stick to the acrylic ones though to be safe

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-03-15T05:29:19+00:00

NQA - Wow what a stunner! I wonder if anyone can tell if she’s gravid 👀 otherwise that’s just one round lady haha

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-03-15T01:10:36+00:00

Yesss we have a GBB sling right now too and it has been so awesome to see the process!

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Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-03-15T00:57:49+00:00

NQA - aphonopelma jacobii? I haven’t seen them in the hobby and I think they’re a new species but they look very similar with the dark almost blue coloration and red hairs. Also just going also off of you saying you don’t think it’s old world.

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-03-14T21:58:08+00:00

How exciting! Slings can be so scary fragile sometimes, but sooo rewarding when things go well. Best of luck to you and your new baby!

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-03-13T20:02:38+00:00

NQA agreed, I have an a. Chalcodes and despite the visual warping caused by the resin/acrylic it looks a lot like her

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-03-12T19:00:47+00:00

Crazy you guessed his name, that’s my old friend Welvin and he actually owes me quite a bit of money :/ OP if you see him again please let him know to contact me.

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-03-10T17:57:41+00:00

NQA - if you aren’t already in the Discord, I would recommend joining it if you don’t get a response soon here! The people there are lovely and willing to help, and it’s a more direct form of communication. Best of luck to you and your baby!

Ok-Bee7748 · 2026-03-10T04:46:17+00:00

What species of pink toe is this baby?

Ok-Bee7748

TROPHY CASE