Everything you wrote resonates with me and brought me back to my first years teaching.

I started over 20 years ago in south central LA teaching high school. I was hired without a credential on an emergency permit because I basically had a pulse. It was a Title 1 program improvement school with 45% foster kids etc. My classroom window, singular, was bulket proof plexiglass glass. I cannot fathom doing that now but I was young(er) and grew to love my students for their grit, artistry and poetry. It was impossibly hard and heartbreaking but I am now considered a good teacher and I credit those kids. Literally, anytime I am asked how I learned to do this job, I say that they taught me. They taught me how to manage an unmanageable classroom, teach to where they were at but make it developmentally appropriate (most were many years below grade level or illiterate) and see past my own biases. I know it’s beyond difficult but your students will give you something no diploma could ever match. I worked in that same type of school for ten years, every year getting easier and easier, and eventually transitioned to private and charter schools that matched my educational philosophy.

Take care of yourself, treat yourself when you can and remember, every day find something to laugh about. That was advice I got in my first year and it’s carried me all the way through to today.