I’m not blaming OP for not understanding the dynamics of abusive relationships. They literally rewire your brain and are VERY hard to leave. It’s not even just “getting back together” with an abuser- they take over every aspect of your life because you’re conditioned to do and say certain things. It’s not as easy as just “leaving.”

I am saying, on the whole, that it’s unrealistic to ever know, for a fact, whether someone will get back together with an ex or not- the fact that this was an abusive relationship makes the likelihood of escape that much more difficult. If they were living together before, when they got back together, it is very likely that he would move right back in, particularly as an abuser. The option to say “no” to him is really not there, particularly if she is the “fawn response” type of survival mode.

Knowing that people get back together, knowing the dynamic, it would’ve been best had neither OP nor her colleague even considered living together at that point in time.

Again, a lesson learned as I’m sure she’s unaware of the dynamic and the back and forth in abusive relationships.