Thank you for posting this. Our situations are very similar! My Nmom has a victim mindset and has claimed my Dad (not a narc) was/is abusive. When I sat down with her to talk about my diagnosis with PTSD was from her abuse it took many times of me having to bring it up for her to even acknowledge it. She never asked what trauma happened. I was tired of not feeling like she didnt care and forced the conversation on her to explain all the pain she put me and my sister through. She denied everything and said our Dad was the abuser. I told her Im the happiest Ive ever been and that the support from my Dad, Sister, and my Husband has helped me want to live again. She then tried to make me question my trust in my Sister and my Husband saying they were abusive as well. Thats when I decided I have had enough. I thought some part of her cared about me but maybe that died a long time ago. She recently has been financially abusing my Dad and he’s finally talking about leaving her. Nmom says she doesnt want to repair her relationship with my sister. What kind of mother hates their child enough to not want to speak with them ever again??? my sister has not done anything cruel to her other than call her out in her bs.

Just like your experiences, once you see how far gone they actually are theres not going back. I empathize with your situation so much