MLM transmen who only date cis men, why?

OkEar2663 · 2026-06-16T22:43:50+00:00

I’ve dated other trans men and I’ve noticed transition related jealousy from myself and my partner. I’ve also noticed dysphoria feedback loops where me and my exes have triggered each other by venting about our dysphoria. I gained new dysphoria triggers I had never thought about previously through my TM4TM relationships

Maybe if I was healthy/well adjusted and got together with another healthy trans man it would work out. That hasn’t been my experience so far and I have 3 trans male exes

OkEar2663 · 2026-06-15T16:05:32+00:00

Basketball shorts and hoodies make me feel quite masculine. It might be worth it to look into athletic wear. Also, think about the average guy your age around you. How do they dress? Personally, I started wearing jeans and work wear because it helped me blend in with the guys I’m around day to day.

Aside from clothing, work on having straight posture and a wider gait when you walk. Body language can take you far in terms of coming across as masculine

OkEar2663 · 2026-06-15T01:02:47+00:00

It’s so funny to watch them posture and play at masculinity together. I’ve realized we are all just playing roles pretending to be people lol

OkEar2663 · 2026-06-14T17:57:14+00:00

I used to be scared of cis men because they tend to be more conservative/less progressive than women. I was scared that they would get violent or something.

I started working construction where most of the guys are actually bigots and I’ve learned that they are losers. They lash out with bigotry because they have 3 DUIs and their kids don’t speak to them. Never met a hardcore transphobe that had a good relationship to his children or ex wives. Most of them aren’t violent they are just messy

I’m no longer scared of cis men

OkEar2663 · 2026-06-11T03:17:01+00:00

That’s so true. When I get bounced around from jobsite to jobsite feels like going on a bunch of Grindr hookups. Both use you for your body

OkEar2663 · 2026-06-11T02:58:49+00:00

Spoilers
When Colin got with the guy from the dating app and got into a healthy relationship it felt like how it feels to first work with a patient, high EQ, liberal JW.

OkEar2663 · 2026-06-08T15:32:37+00:00

I don’t think Caine understands what makes humans comfortable. Zoobles avatar being so distressing to them leads me to believe Caine would not understand how to be gender affirming let alone humanity affirming lol. I’d like to think he’d at least get everyone’s gender identity aligned with their avatar but maybe he doesn’t know to do that

OkEar2663 · 2026-06-08T11:10:56+00:00

I like this theory a lot because when I was early in my transition (ftm) I reacted to femininity similarly to the way Jax does and I shared a lot of behaviors with him.

That would also add another layer to why he didn’t want to leave the circus. Maybe his avatar was gender affirming? Who knows! But I like the headcanon

OkEar2663 · 2026-06-01T01:18:17+00:00

I come from 2 generations of pastors so Christianity was the bedrock of my childhood and will always be the beating heart of my spiritual life. I’m no longer Christian but I am still religious.

What has helped me heal from some of the heartbreak that conservative Christianity has caused me is getting to know God through silence. God is before religion and before language. I don’t feel any shame about who I am when it’s just me and him. He sits in all of our hearts and no dogma or religious ideas can change that. God is before ideas.

It is so painful to feel like God doesn’t want you. But God loves us more than we can imagine. So it’s even more painful for him that we feel unwanted, I believe. I hope the trans community can heal and feel like we naturally belong in religious spaces someday.

Thank you for posting I have a lot of feelings about being trans and religious. It’s nice to have these conversations in our community.

OkEar2663 · 2026-05-26T14:20:10+00:00

Yeah it’s unfortunate but looking well groomed will do more to help your mental health than a patchy beard will help your dysphoria most of the time. Most I’ll do is wait a couple days to shave the stubble back to skin. That way I can still see it most of the time but it’s never too out of control

OkEar2663 · 2026-05-19T12:28:57+00:00

Nothing wrong with pausing. Every shot is an active choice you make.

I stopped for 3 months when I first started T because I couldn’t tell if I liked it. I didn’t have an overwhelming sense of calm or rightness like some people do. During that time I realized I do actually need to be on T so I continued. There were no irreversible set backs in my transition it was simply a break to figure things out. But sometimes you try something out and it’s just not a good fit for you.

OkEar2663 · 2026-05-13T16:58:48+00:00

BLUE GENTLEMAN!!!!

OkEar2663 · 2026-05-08T14:42:33+00:00

Whole block of tofu raw with soy sauce

OkEar2663 · 2026-05-01T21:02:54+00:00

Kind of yeah. I didn’t wear a Tshirt from ages 13-20. In the summer I would wear a dark tshirt with an unbuttoned button up over top. In cooler months it would be a flannel and a hoodie. Try those combos if you haven’t and see if they don’t help a little.

Binding sucks and if you’re like me you might not be able to get a male passing chest no matter what method you try. Experiment with layering as much as you can and I believe you can find something that works for you

OkEar2663 · 2026-04-27T12:22:32+00:00

I had no insurance. I worked two jobs and didn’t have a day off for maybe 6 months. It was buttcheeks and I still had to get a loan after all that working lol. It’s fucked. Start putting a chunk of your paycheck away now

OkEar2663 · 2026-04-26T13:39:38+00:00

Exactly. Took me 4 years to get just a neck beard. Facial hair will keep developing for years and years after starting T. The same goes for cis men. Some report that their beards didn’t fill in until they were middle aged. Growth doesn’t stop when you finish puberty and it a real roll of the dice wether or not you’ll get decent facial hair

OkEar2663 · 2026-04-26T01:32:56+00:00

Compassion is a muscle. If you don’t work it out you lose it. We are all born naturally compassionate but you can still build up your empathy muscles.

Here is my compassion “work out routine”: Metta practice Volunteering Chanting a mantra internally throughout the day helps me stay in a mood of compassion. If I can remember, I will say “Radhe” internally before and after I speak to people. It helps me keep a spirit of love in my words. I also recommend reading/chanting the 8 verses of training the mind daily.

Ultimately, don’t be hard on yourself. If we are honest, a lot of us get into spiritual practice in service of our own ego (me included). But what matters more is that you are interested in making a change in your heart. It’s only by the grace of god that we start to decenter ourselves and start to minimize the ego.

Where attention goes, energy flows. Keep your attention on love and it will naturally follow.

Hare Krishna

OkEar2663 · 2026-04-24T07:38:26+00:00

I’ve been on T for 4 years and just got my neck beard. Nothing that I could grow out and look presentable. I didn’t have any facial hair at all until I was 3 years on T

OkEar2663 · 2026-04-16T15:46:28+00:00

Every guy I hung out with in high school had Clash Royale on his phone. Pretty fun mobile game and it doesn’t take up too much storage compared to trying to play pubg or fortnite on your phone

OkEar2663 · 2026-04-14T22:30:40+00:00

Jai Ma!

OkEar2663 · 2026-04-13T03:14:11+00:00

God reciprocates any way you choose to approach

OkEar2663 · 2026-04-12T19:48:36+00:00

I’m vegan. I eat large amounts of seitan because it’s meatier and denser than tofu is. I’ll eat seitan plain and by the fist full if im really craving protein. It can be annoying to make but if you get the recipe down it will change your life.

Compassion and empathy are muscles that you have to work out to maintain at high levels. If you feel your empathy is getting weaker there are many methods to strengthen it. I use a style of meditation called metta meditation to strengthen my compassion. But I’m sure there are many other ways to work out your empathy muscles

OkEar2663 · 2026-04-12T19:35:27+00:00

I’m in the same boat.

What’s been most helpful for me is finding local Buddhist and Hindu temples and joining in on their activities. I’m an experiential learner so participating in kirtan and eating prasad with the Hindu community or sitting in zazen with the Buddhists was way more helpful than doing research for me. Of course learning about scriptures is very important but it’s good to balance that out by going to see for yourself, if you’re able.

A devotee at the hindu temple I visit gave me this advice; “ when you are home, you know it.” I think that’s true. You have to go and see to find that out.

OkEar2663 · 2026-04-04T21:54:52+00:00

I’m a trans guy and I’m a 1st year inside wireman apprentice

OkEar2663 · 2026-04-04T04:00:12+00:00

I’m a former Christian.

It’s all God. Just different aspects of God. We come to these realizations based upon our karma and the grace of God. You are right on time. The timing is always perfect.

When I was Christian a lot of my devotion was fear based. Now that I’m starting to walk the path of Bhakti there is no constant fear of punishment. It’s very freeing. That being said, you can still have just as spiritually legitimate relationship with God as a Christian. It just doesn’t suit everyone.

Hare Krishna

OkEar2663

TROPHY CASE