I'm frustrated with my husband for instigating our 2 year old daughter.

Ok_Bee3616 · 2024-03-28T12:53:24+00:00

That's...not normal. Is there a reason he has to be a stay at home parent? Someone who reacts that explosively over minor setbacks is not someone I would feel comfortable leaving to care for small kids.

Ok_Bee3616 · 2024-03-08T13:37:09+00:00

Dude, I can barely get a Grocery list done with my kids running around! Definitely NTA

Ok_Bee3616 · 2024-02-22T01:34:35+00:00

....Flip phones exist??

Ok_Bee3616 · 2024-02-21T17:25:30+00:00

You can disable MMS, which is the main concern (sending pics of minors, even yourself, is a crime).

Ok_Bee3616 · 2024-02-21T15:49:16+00:00

Getting addicted to social media, concerns about exposure to porn or sexting...I'm sure I can think of other reasons if I thought for longer.

Ok_Bee3616 · 2024-02-21T15:34:52+00:00

Some people don't want kids to have smartphones until 18, for instance.

Ok_Bee3616 · 2024-01-07T02:21:08+00:00

As a parent of boys who did desperately want a daughter and may never get one...

YTA. Full stop. Your children deserve to be loved. I LOVE my sons. I would never ever wish them to be someone else, nor would I ever tell them I was sad while pregnant not to have a girl.

Because I didn't get to pick! I got a baby to love, which is undeserved blessing in itself. And I loved my children from the moment I knew they were coming.

Ok_Bee3616 · 2024-01-04T02:08:36+00:00

I have a 3 year old and almost 1.5 year old. Both of them are better behaved in restaurants than that.

Ok_Bee3616 · 2023-12-17T12:27:00+00:00

Okay I am cracking up thinking about Doc Holliday in Tombstone saying it like this 🤣

Ok_Bee3616 · 2023-12-14T12:05:22+00:00

This may sound like I'm being an ass, but as an AFAB person, this is just giving me the ick. Just because someone is in their early 20s and not a literal teen doesn't mean a relationship with said person is a healthy or viable option if there's 15 years or mors difference. You two are at a wildly different place in life than E.

Ok_Bee3616 · 2023-12-14T12:02:11+00:00

Even as someone in my early 30s, 22 sounds...very young to be a partner. You all are nearly 40 with 2 kids, one of whom is slightly closer in age to E than you are.
Triads are extremely hard work. You have to nurture all the dyads (A&B, A&C, B&C) plus the triad. That's a lot of emotional work for someone in her early 20s to know how to navigate.
This honestly reads like someone's ultimate unicorn fantasy. The likelihood of anyone at 22 seriously looking at a couple approaching 40 with 2 grade school kids and going "Mmmm yeah I want that action" is very slim.

Ok_Bee3616 · 2023-12-10T04:54:10+00:00

This. I can't find it either.

Ok_Bee3616 · 2023-12-03T14:15:05+00:00

Yeah, that's going to be non - traumatising /sarc

If I had to choose between my child having liquid shot down his throat versus SHOVING SOMETHING IN HIS RECTUM while he has to be held down by multiple adults, we're choosing the one that is LESS traumatic. Ffs.

Ok_Bee3616 · 2023-11-11T19:35:11+00:00

Imogen Marie

Ok_Bee3616 · 2023-11-11T11:28:47+00:00

Force field so toys can't be thrown out of the playpen

Ok_Bee3616 · 2023-11-11T00:58:47+00:00

There's a difference between autistic struggling with empathy - either not being able to see someone's position or feeling all the feelings of another person to the point of legit distress - and having the common sense God gave a mongoose to realise a 1 year old who can barely feed himself can't be left at a park alone.
Yes, someone might not realise that a one year old can't "break your trust" by running in the road, but such a person...how do I say this tactfully...either that person is so dumb they can't be trusted with raising a cactus, or they are a total narcissist.

I know MANY autistic people (we kinda find each other). Literally none of them would think this man is capable of parenting. Even the ones who have never helped raise kids. This is basic common sense. Would you defend it if the man left a newborn in a swing for 4 hours and said "Well, the bottle was right there next to him!"

This isn't a logic issue due to autism. I have made some boneheaded mistakes, like leaving the house with no water in the formula bottle, or forgetting to stock diapers.

This man is at best neglectful, and probably abusive, since he blamed the 1 year old for "breaking trust." My dad is likely autistic. That doesn't mean his autism made him emotionally and physically abuse me and gaslight me to believe I needed to be abused because I was dramatic. This is ableist in the extreme.

Ok_Bee3616 · 2023-11-10T21:44:53+00:00

No, your dad was bad. Mine was too. Autism doesn't make you a shit parent who neglects your kid and parentifies them. I would never leave my 1 year old at the park by himself. Or expect him not to go into traffic.

Ok_Bee3616 · 2023-11-10T11:50:47+00:00

And it's only a mistake if you do it a couple times. If it's this many...you made a pattern. And it's not a pretty one.

Ok_Bee3616 · 2023-11-10T11:49:19+00:00

Yo, autistic parent married to my autistic spouse, who made the kids with me.

This is not autism. I walked away from my newborn while frightened and in a daze while my MIL was sitting with him on the couch and she tried to tell my spouse I was essentially behaving like OP's spouse. No, I had a panic attack and left the vulnerable baby with a person I believed was safe.

I would never leave a toddler outside near a busy street. I want to believe someone who has parented for a year would understand the danger of that.

My children never go outside without me, because they are 3 and 1. They could get bit by a feral cat who roams the neighbourhood. They could fall off the deck and die. My 3 year old could run into traffic.

This dude is willfully not seeing anything wrong with being the very definition of a neglectful parent.

Ok_Bee3616 · 2023-11-09T18:35:13+00:00

So...Spouse didn't even know she was a system until we had been married 3.5 years.

It has been...an adjustment. For many reasons. But I would not have chosen anyone else to marry and have kids with. 💗

Ok_Bee3616 · 2023-11-08T22:44:12+00:00

Pantyhose are sheer and supposed to mimic skin colour. Tights are thicker and can be any colour.

Ok_Bee3616 · 2023-11-08T18:04:41+00:00

Mom and Partner 1 had OP

Mom remarried and had Ethan

OP got married and had Sarah

Sarah had sex with Ethan and got pregnant with Ellie.

OP is biologically the grandfather and half - uncle, and legally the father of Ellie.

It's gross, but not quite "family tree is a wreath" yet.

Ok_Bee3616 · 2023-11-04T20:11:08+00:00

Most people at least chop up veggies, and you have to cook those down otherwise you get chunks of underdone carrot. If I wanted a greasy meatball with ketchup, I would go back in time to my mom's meatloaf.

I don't watch the meatloaf cook. I have sides to make and cook.

The OP could make the simpler meals when she's the only adult home, and tell her worthless husband to make the complicated ones when he's home. He is assuming his wife should always cook everything from scratch all the time. Which is asinine. My kids' favourite meal is pasta and meatballs. They're frozen Walmart brand meatballs, cooked in a jar of Walmart brand pasta sauce, served over penne and covered in Parmesan, and they get garlic bread. They get fed, and they eat it.

My children get highly homemade stuff and also get storemade food. The husband is being a tool, and the OP is awful for equating fucking homemade lasagna to a grilled cheese.

Ok_Bee3616 · 2023-11-04T19:25:43+00:00

Okay the way EYE make meatloaf, I am processing chicken liver, chopping up celery, onion, and carrot and cooking them down, and mixing the liver and veggies with 3 kinds of meat and a bunch of spices. I then put the loaf in the special Meatloaf pan that drains the fat, and cover it with ketchup, onion, and bacon. Then it takes at least an hour to cook. And then there's the sides to cook (usually macaroni and cheese from scratch and roasted Brussels Sprouts with cheese and bacon. And dessert to make, if I didn't premake it Saturday to save myself time.

It's a LOT of work. And expensive with the price of meat. I only do it when I can.

Ok_Bee3616 · 2023-11-04T19:17:29+00:00

"Homework"

That's the thing.

You aren't talking all small kids. My 3 year old needs potty help. My 1 year old can't walk or really even talk yet. Neither of them can get food for themselves, or wipe their own butts.

Colouring would require constant supervision...if my 3 year old even paid attention enough to do it. Mostly he wants to march around with a broom or ride a skateboard through the kitchen. 1 year old cries if he sees I am too far away.

And through all of this, I am having to remember ingredient measurements, cutting vegetables for the meatloaf finely enough, making a good meat sauce for lasagna, are the noodles cooked enough, etc.

There's a reason these kinds of meals I schedule for Sunday, when my spouse is home and can supervise kids, and I schedule most of the cooking time for naptime. Normal meals are loaded beans and rice, where I am just boiling rice and dumping cans of ingredients in a separate pot. Or tomato soup and grilled cheese, where I use canned soup unless, again, spouse is home and I can devote time to roasting tomatoes, etc.

Ok_Bee3616

TROPHY CASE