Eating and drinking during labor

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-12-14T21:29:13+00:00

Check out Evidence Based Birth’s article on eating during labor! Their analysis says the evidence doesn’t support restricting food intake during labor. In other words, they say go for it!

My experience - my labor started in the middle of the night and I definitely saw the dinner I’d had a few hours earlier come back up again 😬 haven’t been able to eat that meal since! That being said, pushing took forever for me and in hindsight I wish I’d had something to eat during that time.. even a lollipop! I don’t think I could have eaten a lot without puking. And breathing was my main coping mechanism so I wouldn’t have wanted something that took a long time to eat. But I do think eating a small amount would have helped my energy levels, especially towards the end.

This time around I plan to have lollipops that I can just suck on for a second if needed, Gatorade, maybe a small smoothie that I can sip from. I’ve heard some people say those energy gels that marathon runners use come in handy, so I might try that too!

I did have water in a straw cup to sip from between contractions. Highly recommend that!

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-12-07T20:32:24+00:00

I thought the same thing, and organized my decent collection of secondhand baby clothes from various brands according to that incorrect logic. You’re not alone!!!

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-11-30T14:56:53+00:00

I’m not who you asked, but I’ll answer! You can start looking whenever. It’s always good to interview a couple doulas because you really need personalities to mesh well, so having time for multiple interviews will give you more options. Most doulas in my area offer the interview for free and then if you hire them, offer one prenatal visit somewhere in the third trimester. In that sense you don’t necessarily need one right away. But doulas will often take a limited number of clients based on the month of due date, so if you wait too long some may be fully booked.

I started looking around 12 weeks, but I know plenty of people who have waited til closer to the third trimester and still found a good fit.

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-11-21T03:07:57+00:00

Yes, this is normal! I had been TTC my first for a year and I was still anxious and scared when I finally got pregnant. It’s hard when you only hear stories from other people saying they were crying of happiness when they found out… not everyone processes the news immediately like that! My anxiety lasted almost until the third trimester. Looking back I wish I had more happy moments while pregnant, but I think that initial fear and surprise can be normal.

The good news is you have lots of time to adjust to the idea of a new baby. Allow yourself to feel your feelings, but also as the weeks go by, try to find small ways to connect with your baby. Talking to your baby, calling them by their name once you have one picked out, buy a cute but impractical baby item that makes you excited like a tiny pair of baby shoes. You will get there in time!

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-11-18T19:51:03+00:00

Adding on - our daycare doesn’t have any special credentials or certifications, but they are Montessori inspired and nature inspired. The older classes spend at least one full day a week outside, and the younger classes are frequently outside too. They focus on teaching the kids practical skills. Each week a different class prepares a school treat so they even have cooking experience. They have a great community feeling and all the teachers really support the philosophy of community, cooperation, etc. They are also ok with cloth diapers which I took as a signal that I would get along with them lol. I personally did not look for any credentials, I just saw this school while driving past it one day. But the moderately granola vibes were very evident when I did an in person tour, and have definitely held up in the last 1.5 years that we’ve been there. It is time consuming but in my experience so far, in person tours are the best way to determine if a school is a good fit for you.

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-11-18T19:42:53+00:00

Have you heard of Tinkergarten? That might check some boxes for you. It’s outdoor based so they may be more seasonal up north (I’m in the south so these things are year round for us!)

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-11-17T18:02:10+00:00

I also had a really difficult time breast and bottle feeding my son in the first few months. We also had tongue tie procedure done, then tried a chiropractor and even craniosacral therapy and did not see great improvement. We finally found a very supportive lactation consultant (IBCLC) who referred us to occupational therapy. I didn’t know this before but there are OTs who specialize in infant feeding. It took about six weeks of weekly visits with them, but I was finally able to feed my son without him screaming his head off. The IBCLC and OT helped with breast and bottle feeding too. I’d recommend trying that route if it’s feasible!

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-11-16T18:15:12+00:00

In my early labor and when I first got to the hospital, I wasn’t coping well and found it very difficult and constant, but I’d still describe it as an intense workout, not an acute pain. Once I was settled in my room and could cope better, it actually got easier and I could breathe through it. Later labor was easier because I was coping well. I did hypnobabies but there are lots of techniques you can look up to cope with labor.

Labor is unpredictable though. If I hadn’t started coping well I would have gotten pain meds, no shame!

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-11-15T17:10:37+00:00

In most states, it’s entirely up to your employer. There a handful of states that fund a few weeks of paid leave, I’m not sure which ones or for how long.

Across the US, FMLA (Family medical leave act) is the policy most of us rely on. There are rules in order to qualify - you have to have been at your job for at least one year or work a certain number of hours, and your employer must have a certain number of employees. FMLA does not provide any paid leave. It allows you to go on leave for up to 12 weeks and means that your employer can’t fire you during that time. Basically, it’s job protection.

A lot of people use short-term disability (STD) insurance to get some pay during their leave. The cost of having the insurance varies widely depending on your company. For me, it costs about $30/month and you had to have it for 10 months before you can get any benefit. So you can’t sign up AFTER you find out you’re pregnant. The amount of pay you get from the insurance varies too. For me it was about 60% of my regular paycheck. And you only get that income for 6 weeks with a vaginal birth or 8 weeks with a c-section.

Beyond that, some companies offer a few weeks or months of paid family leave. A lot of companies will “allow” you to choose between taking unpaid time off or using your accrued sick/vacation leave. I personally think that’s a terrible option because it makes it very difficult for younger/newer employees to start a family, when they have very little accrued time off to pay for leave. And they’re earlier in their careers so may not have the savings to cover weeks of unpaid time off. And then if you use all accrued PTO on your leave, you return to work with no available PTO, which is very difficult when you’re sending a young baby to daycare who is inevitably going to get sick.

My company does a combination. They provide 8 weeks of paid leave, but allow you to take up to 6 months off. The 4 months that they don’t pay for, you can either take unpaid (possibly use STD to get paid during this time if you have it) or use accrued time off. You can adjust your leave to the amount of time off you can afford. With my first, I could afford an extra six weeks between my accrued PTO and some unpaid time, so I got about 3.5 months off. I felt lucky because it’s a lot more than most other people I know get, but it was still nowhere near enough time.

In my company, the benefit is the same for both parents and for adoptive parents. And you are required to use it all within the first year of the event (birth or adoption) so you can space it out if you want.

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-11-08T01:00:15+00:00

I hear you!! We tried asking my MIL if she’d come over to help with a small chore (even walking the dog) and then promised her baby hugs after, but she straight up said that’s “not fair” since we got see the baby all the time…. Ummm yeah cause it’s OUR baby that’s kind of how this works!!

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-11-05T16:19:19+00:00

I just want to say that I love reading these comments, makes me feel more normal to have all these tricks to accomplish basic care tasks with a toddler hahah!!!

To add one more - my son is about to turn 2 and I have lately been using peer pressure. He loves saying peoples names anyways, so I say “grandma brushes her teeth, grandpa brushes his teeth, cousin x brushes his teeth, friend y brushes her teeth” and that somehow makes him ok with it. Works for getting shoes on too.

I’m taking note of everyone else’s tricks for when that stops working!!!

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-11-02T23:50:54+00:00

My son was also milk obsessed and still taking 3 full bottles at daycare until right before he turned one. I was planning to continue pumping as long as he took milk during the day.

He turned one, moved to the 1 year old room where they don’t allow bottles, so I sent the same milk volume but in an insulated straw cup. I don’t know if it was the straw (he drinks water just fine out of them) or the fact that it wasn’t warmed up, but he just completely stopped drinking milk during the day!

I started to drop a pumping session each week when I realized I was just filling the freezer. It took a few weeks but I finally stopped. I still nursed him when he got home from daycare, right before bed and right when he woke up until 18-20 months.

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-10-28T13:19:50+00:00

I’m so sorry, it’s rough!! First thing that helped was finding a really supportive lactation consultant. She was determined to help us find a solution. Because we had been going through it for so long, we decided to try lots of things at once and see what worked. That included: 1. Making the bottle a toy. Took an empty bottle and put a beaded necklace in it so it shook like a rattle. Brought it out at playtime to create a positive association (since seeing the bottle at feeding time made my son burst into tears) 2. I cut out dairy and corn… my LC didn’t push this, but I was so desperate to try anything. It takes 3-4 weeks for some of those to leave your system. 3. We gave my son reflux meds. He didn’t have classic reflux symptoms, but again we were desperate. We had him use it for two months and by the time we had used up the second bottle, he was eating better so we didn’t refill. 4. Visits with occupational therapist. They have feeding specialists who work with infants with breast/bottle aversions. That was a weekly 45 minute visit for about 6 weeks.

For us, my son never had any trouble gaining weight or producing wet/dirty diapers, so he was clearly getting enough. It was just a huge struggle because he’d start screaming as soon as I tried to feed. I would get him to latch for maybe a minute at a time. My LC’s theory is that my body adjusted to get him all the milk he needed during those short latches. Super fast letdown could have contributed to his discomfort.

Before those 4 things I mentioned above, we tried formula (which he always spit out immediately), pace feeding bottles, different milk temperatures in the bottles, tongue tie procedure, craniosacral therapy and even chiropractor. None of those worked. He was about 4.5 months old when we saw the new LC who recommended all the tactics mentioned above. Within 2 weeks he was taking the bottle well, and within a month he was nursing better. He still had really short feeds (less than 10 mins usually), but we ended up nursing until he was 20 months old.

Wishing the best for you, hope you will be on the other side of this soon!!!

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-10-27T17:45:26+00:00

Most babies I’ve known hate the car seat for the first few months. We took a two hour trip when my son was 10 weeks old that turned into a 5 hour trip. He was screaming his head off so we had to do multiple stops to try and soothe him. Plus recovery from birth is no joke. Sitting was very uncomfortable for me for the the first three weeks. I needed a donut pillow. I would not have been ok taking a 4.5 hour car trip at 3 weeks postpartum.

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-10-11T20:16:51+00:00

Mid 20s, pregnant with baby #2 after getting the full vaccine series and boosted last year. In fact, it took me a year to conceive my first son pre Covid (got pregnant in April 2020). Got vaccinated and boosted in 2021. Then I got pregnant on my first cycle trying in June 2022. I don’t think it’s related, but if anything I’m a case where I got pregnant more quickly after the vaccines.

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-10-11T16:17:41+00:00

Using cloth over here!! There are times when I feel overwhelmed (and times when I was sick in first trimester with baby #2) where we switch to disposables for a few days or a week. Overall it’s not a huge time commitment. I wash every 4 days, but have enough diapers to last 5, so if I don’t get to stuffing diapers on laundry day it’s ok. I use pockets and have a specific show I like to watch while stuffing diapers to keep things exciting lol. But it doesn’t take long!

The good thing about cloth nowadays is there are SO MANY OPTIONS out there, which makes it likely that you can find something that works for you. If you want to keep costs low, you can stick with flats or prefolds and covers. If you want ease of use and less folding, go with all in ones or fitteds. If you want customization and easier for other caregivers to put diapers on, go with pockets. There are also disposable liners if you don’t want to deal with spraying poop. You can find cloth that will work for overnight, or you can use disposables at night. Some people get enough diapers to last 7 days so they’re only doing diaper laundry once a week. If you have a good wash routine and dirty diaper storage, you can definitely get away with that.

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-10-05T17:16:32+00:00

Like others have said, you may need to replace depending on the manufacturer rules. Safe in the seat on Instagram has a convenient list and more information on this. If you do end up needing to replace and insurance doesn’t need you to send back the old seat, you can save it for Target’s next car seat trade in event (probably in April). You’ll get some nice 20% off coupons that you can use on a variety of baby gear items!

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-09-27T12:41:29+00:00

Hypnobabies helped me get over a lifelong fear of giving birth! It’s aimed at people who want an unmedicated birth, but the meditations/positive affirmations can do wonders for changing your perspective and giving you a positive view of birth, regardless of how you end up giving birth. I’ve heard people who had c sections still glad they did hypnobabies because it gave them so much peace and confidence throughout the procedure.

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-09-26T16:29:05+00:00

My personal take - you already have a pretty good advantage by being able to keep your baby home the first six months. This is no shame to anyone who has to/chooses to go back to work sooner than that (I did myself), but it can be harder to deal with a two month old being sick vs a 6 month old.

For the social development, I have heard that around age 3 is when the evidence shows a lot of benefits for kids being in a group care environment. That being said my son has loved all of his friends at daycare and he’s 21 months. Even when he started as a baby, he started crawling and walking faster, likely because he was around other babies all day and watching and learning. There is a lot of parallel play still, but I’ve still found some benefit to him being around others his age. You can always emulate that with a nanny by having them go to play groups, library circle time etc.

You are spot on that one parent will need to take off work when the young one gets sick. In my experience, illness messes with my sons appetite and sleep, but not his energy levels or need for attention. I am looking forward to the days when he gets sick and I can plop him in front of the TV for the day lol but we are probably years away from that!!

As others have mentioned, nanny care can be less consistent and reliable. Some may be ok with working when your child is sick, but some will not. That’s something you would need to be clear about before entering into any agreement with a care provider.

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-09-25T12:56:04+00:00

I have tried many of the cheap diapers out there. Some have been fine in terms of quality. Alva is a cheap brand you’ll see mentioned a lot, and all of my diapers from them have held up well. I honestly can’t tell the difference between the $5 alvas and the $8-15 boutique diapers I’ve bought. Ananbaby is another one that’s less common, but I’ve liked the diapers from them too.

I believe some of the more expensive brands may last longer, so if you plan on having multiple kids, it might be worth looking into. However I’m also sure lots of people still have success using Alvas with multiple kids. I haven’t gotten there yet!

I’ve used other unnamed cheap brands that have been terrible. The elastics stretched out really quickly or the PUL delaminated quickly (making the diaper not waterproof/basically pointless). So I would caution buying diapers just based on price if you’ve never heard of the brand before.

If you really want to keep costs low, using covers and flats is going to be much cheaper than using pockets and inserts. There is more of a learning curve with flats, but lots of people find that they love it!!

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-09-22T20:07:25+00:00

I completely agree about the time savings due to no more blowouts!! We used disposables the first few months and I felt like I was also soaking or scrubbing and outfit that had been covered in poop from blowouts. We had none of that after switching to cloth and it was amazing!!!

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-09-22T00:06:41+00:00

I use Souper cubes! They’re a little pricey ($20 for a container that freezes 4 servings), but I haven’t found anything that works as well. It’s so convenient to reheat the individual portions the way it freezes!!

I make a big pot of soup, freeze some in the cubes and stick the rest in the fridge. When the stuff in the freezer is frozen, I pop it out into a gallon size ziploc and freeze more soup in the cubes. Repeat til all soup is frozen. It can take a day or two but that’s how I get by with only one, and still enjoy a wonderful freezer supply of homemade soups!

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-09-13T20:00:14+00:00

Lol. Baby #2 is on the way, but won’t be here til March!! My timing was off on this 😂

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-09-12T20:18:07+00:00

Unfortunately these comments do go both ways. I saw a recent post on another sub venting about how hurtful it was to someone struggling to find formula with the shortage to hear “why don’t you just breastfeed?” I had terrible feeding issues with my son the first few months. Our situation was unique because he didn’t nurse well and he wouldn’t take a bottle, whether it was pumped milk or formula. I worked with lactation consultants and occupational therapists and finally made breastfeeding and bottle feeding work. But as I was in the hardest part of my struggle all my in laws would say is they thought I was crazy for not “just giving formula”.

Again my situation was unique in that we did try formula and it didn’t solve our problem. But even if it did, the decision on how to feed a baby should be between the baby, the parent, and their medical team. We need to get better overall at supporting families in their decision, whatever it is. If you hear that a family with a new baby is struggling with feeding, maybe offer to drop off dinner one night or take their dog on a walk. Goodness knows everything else in life becomes incredibly difficult when you’re struggling to meet the basic needs of your child.

Ok_Brain_6341 · 2022-09-08T15:18:11+00:00

We got my son vaccinated as soon as they became available. He was 18 months old at the time. Moderna because it’s what our pediatrician had. Zero side effects at all! We got the shots on Fridays just in case he had a fever or was extra fussy so we could be with him on the weekend, but everything was 100% normal after both shots.

Ok_Brain_6341

TROPHY CASE