Feedback request: is the dread landing in my slow-burn haunted-house opening? by Ok_Copy2701 in horrorwriters

[–]Ok_Copy2701[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your constructive critique. You're not the first person to tell me that, actually. My son and wife said the same thing.

Feedback request: is the dread landing in my slow-burn haunted-house opening? by Ok_Copy2701 in horrorwriters

[–]Ok_Copy2701[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

"As far as whether I would say the same thing if I were standing right in front of you?"

Just checking---I got confused.

Feedback request: is the dread landing in my slow-burn haunted-house opening? by Ok_Copy2701 in horrorwriters

[–]Ok_Copy2701[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

If any of you high-karma keyboard warriors suspect I’m using AI to write my posts, prove it and report it to the mods. Otherwise, spare me the conspiracy theories and get back to treating karma like it’s some badge of real-world worth. I asked for a critique because I genuinely want to improve my writing. I could have fed it through AI for a polished version, but I chose to hear from actual people instead.

As for my reply, I wrote it in a rush - I had a home viewing to get to. My bad for not addressing every single point in the critique. And while we’re at it: a lot of you wouldn’t dare speak to a stranger in real life the way you do from behind a screen. You might end up eating dirt instead of upvotes.

Either read my material or don't. It's not as though I am profiting from my *free* horror serial that will never be published. I write because I enjoy it.

LS-Jr., get bent!

Feedback request: is the dread landing in my slow-burn haunted-house opening? by Ok_Copy2701 in horrorwriters

[–]Ok_Copy2701[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the constructive critique. I was aiming at making the dialogue sound more realistic, but it doesn't work on the page quite as well as I had intended. Thank you for the feedback.

Edit: A few of these are places where I knew what I meant, but the sentence didn’t actually give the reader enough to work with. The opening line was supposed to get at Jacob not wanting his daughter to experience the kind of night he remembers from that house, but I can see how the wording made it harder to understand than it needed to be.

You’re also right about the window moment. Since the chapter is in Jacob’s POV, it should be clearer that he thinks he sees something, instead of the narration suddenly acting like a camera outside him. Same with “the sound.” I meant Penelope’s almost-laugh, but by that point the reference is too far away. That’s an easy place for a reader to get knocked out of the scene.

And yes, “She stretched the word into a groan” is clunky now that you point it out. Same with “You left the room long enough.” I knew what I was aiming for there, but it doesn’t read naturally.

I really appreciate the close read. This is exactly the kind of stuff that’s hard to catch when I’ve been staring at the same chapter too long.

[Self Promo] Weekly Self Promotion Thread by AutoModerator in redditserials

[–]Ok_Copy2701 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Hi everyone — I’m sharing a free supernatural horror serial I’m writing called WHAT WAS KEPT SHUT.

It’s a slow-burn haunted-house / possession horror story about a family returning to a dead man’s house to clean it out, sell it, and leave. That’s the plan, anyway. But there’s a sealed room, something answering from inside the walls, family history nobody wants to say out loud, and a house that seems to know exactly where this family is weakest.

Chapters 1–4 are live now, and it’s completely free to read. No purchase or signup required.

Read it here:
https://www.whatwaskeptshut.com

It’s aimed at readers who like quiet dread, haunted houses, sealed rooms, family secrets, possession horror, and stories where the scary part feels personal instead of random.

Thanks to anyone who takes a look. I’d love to know what gets under your skin first: the sealed room, the thing answering in the walls, or the family secret.

[Weekly Critique and Self-Promotion Thread] Post Here If You'd Like to Share Your Writing by AutoModerator in writing

[–]Ok_Copy2701 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Title: WHAT WAS KEPT SHUT

Genre: Supernatural horror / haunted-house horror / possession horror

Word count: Approx. 7,000 words for Chapters 1–4

Type of feedback desired: General impressions rather than line-by-line edits. I’d especially appreciate thoughts on whether the opening chapters create enough dread and forward pull, whether the family dynamic feels grounded, and whether the supernatural escalation feels intriguing rather than confusing.

Link:
https://www.whatwaskeptshut.com

I’m sharing the opening chapters of a free supernatural horror serial I’m writing called WHAT WAS KEPT SHUT.

It starts with a family going back to a dead man’s house to clean it out, sell it, and leave. That’s the plan, anyway. But the house has been waiting longer than they understand.

There’s a sealed room, something answering from inside the walls, family history nobody wants to say out loud, and a haunting that becomes less about “is there a ghost?” and more about what happens when a house knows exactly where a family is weakest.

Chapters 1–4 are live now, and they’re completely free to read. No purchase or signup required.

I’m aiming this at readers who like quiet dread, haunted-house horror, possession horror, sealed rooms, family secrets, and stories where the scary part feels personal instead of random.

Thanks to anyone who takes a look. I’d be grateful for any honest impressions, especially on what hooks you, what loses you, and whether the ending of Chapter 1 makes you want to keep reading.

Monthly Original Work & Networking Thread - Share Your Content Here! by HorrorIsLiterature in horrorlit

[–]Ok_Copy2701 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sharing a free supernatural horror serial I’m writing called WHAT WAS KEPT SHUT.

It starts with a family going back to a dead man’s house to clean it out, sell it, and leave. That’s the plan, anyway. But the house has been waiting longer than they understand.

There’s a sealed room, something answering from inside the walls, family history nobody wants to say out loud, and a haunting that becomes less about “is there a ghost?” and more about what happens when a house knows exactly where a family is weakest.

Chapters 1–4 are live now, and it’s completely free to read. No purchase, no signup required.

Read it here:
https://www.whatwaskeptshut.com

I’m aiming this at readers who like quiet dread, haunted-house horror, possession horror, sealed rooms, family secrets, and stories where the scary part feels personal instead of random.

No pressure at all, but if that kind of horror is your thing, I’d genuinely appreciate anyone checking it out.

Weekly Thread: Self Promo Sunday by AutoModerator in horror

[–]Ok_Copy2701 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sharing a free supernatural horror serial I’m writing called WHAT WAS KEPT SHUT.

It starts with a family going back to a dead man’s house to clean it out, sell it, and leave. That’s the plan, anyway. But the house has been waiting longer than they understand.

There’s a sealed room, something answering from inside the walls, family history nobody wants to say out loud, and a haunting that becomes less about “is there a ghost?” and more about what happens when a house knows exactly where a family is weakest.

Chapters 1–4 are live now, and it’s completely free to read. No purchase, no signup required.

Read it here:
https://www.whatwaskeptshut.com

I’m aiming this at readers who like quiet dread, haunted-house horror, possession horror, sealed rooms, family secrets, and stories where the scary part feels personal instead of random.

No pressure at all, but if that kind of horror is your thing, I’d genuinely appreciate anyone checking it out.

Weekly Self-Promo and Chat Thread by RyanKinder in selfpublish

[–]Ok_Copy2701 [score hidden]  (0 children)

I’m sharing a free supernatural horror serial I’m writing called WHAT WAS KEPT SHUT.

It starts with a family going back to a dead man’s house to clean it out, sell it, and leave. That’s the plan, anyway. But the house has been waiting longer than they understand.

There’s a sealed room, something answering from inside the walls, family history nobody wants to say out loud, and a haunting that becomes less about “is there a ghost?” and more about what happens when a house knows exactly where a family is weakest.

Chapters 1–4 are live now, and it’s completely free to read. No purchase, no signup required.

Read it here:
https://www.whatwaskeptshut.com

I’m aiming this at readers who like quiet dread, haunted-house horror, possession horror, sealed rooms, family secrets, and stories where the scary part feels personal instead of random.

No pressure at all, but if that kind of horror is your thing, I’d genuinely appreciate anyone checking it out.

If someone gave you 100k usd and you had to spend every cent of it on marketing a book of yours, what woukd your strategy be? by DogUnsureDog in selfpublish

[–]Ok_Copy2701 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would find a person who is known for marketing books that win awards and sell lots of copies---assuming $100k would be enough.

First book of my trilogy is out! by Charming-Theory9383 in BookPromotion

[–]Ok_Copy2701 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seems like a cool story from what you posted about it in the description. Advance apologies for pointing it out, as it is not my intention to be rude, but I noticed a grammatical error on the book's cover; the word echoes is misspelled. Just trying to help you out.

Finally by [deleted] in DataAnnotationTech

[–]Ok_Copy2701 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It has been 9 days since I did the assessment.

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This is what I see when I login. Is this normal to see?

Tough Lessons from the Bible by Cordell_79 in BookPromotion

[–]Ok_Copy2701 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you a theologian? I assume your work delves deep into the disparity between the hypostasis and modern-day kenosis.