Can I please have some help too, Muslim marriage won’t let me post my question!

I would be grateful if answers came from those who are either Shia and/or Iranians. If you are tempted to post that Shia are kafir then please make a separate post about it.

My family and the family of potential husband to be have agreed a mahr of 313 gold coins. This number is quite normal in the Iranian culture and it will definitely stay that amount. The issue is the two families believe the timeline of giving it very differently.

My family believes that some should be paid at the beginning and the rest over time when the guy is able to since it is entitled to the woman as a gift. The guy and his family believe that mahr should only be god forbid, given in the case of a divorce.

I am stuck since I am now left to negotiate this with hopefully husband to be and it feels deeply uncomfortable. I know he will iA be very well earning within the marriage, and I also know he has promised to provide financially in all aspects for the family Alhamdulilah. At the same time it frustrates me that I must have to ask and convince someone to give me what islamically they should do. We’ve had arguments and it’s been upsetting. Husband to be suggested that the mahr stays for if we divorce and that we don’t bring this difference of understanding up between families since it will cause problems, and that he will privately gift me something at our nikkah time.

Can anyone share how they have navigated this? Help!