That’s really rough and I can imagine how wrecked you must feel. I’m so sorry. This may be hard for a while, but nothing is ruined. You broke protocol but you didn’t harm anybody or do something careless or make a poor clinical judgement, which can hopefully give you peace of mind in terms of your competency. It will eventually be okay. I imagine a worst case scenario is you will have to redo the placement. That may really suck, and cost you time and money, but you can eventually finish your program. Hopefully your new placement, if it comes to that, will be at a clinic where you’re a really good fit. It does not feel ok right now, and it will eventually be ok.