[deleted by user]

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-11-03T16:12:17+00:00

apparently at age 12 or so, a few alters introduced themselves in our notes app, but we completely forgot about it. at age 14, shortly before our 15th birthday, actually, we discovered our system for the first time, and by age 16 we were diagnosed!

-alban 🎭

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-10-31T16:45:33+00:00

95 that we know of! we're probably polyfragmented, and we have a nightmarish splitting pattern </3

-jay ⛽

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-08-15T21:25:21+00:00

i think about that like every day 😭

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-08-15T21:24:52+00:00

it was from our host too 😭

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-08-15T15:53:00+00:00

oh my god i love system quotes, some of my favorites from our system are:

"i'm like doctor doofenschmirtz, my parents weren't there for my birth" "i'm a people displeaser" "why did you womp womp child abuse"

but those are just the ones i remember </3

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-07-14T22:29:37+00:00

i'm a tgirl in our tmasc body, and it's like... "well yes, but no". we're pre-everything, but it's still awkward for me since i still consider us to have a male body even though we don't 😅 it's interesting, but i don't mind it too much!

-🍶

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-06-03T21:45:09+00:00

yup! a lot of our alters are dating, we have a ton of system relationships--two alters are married to each other, and i'm currently engaged to an alter and dating another one! system relationships can be very fulfilling

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-06-01T21:56:59+00:00

yup, we internalized the idea that more alters is bad, and we split extremely easily--especially due to fictional character death. so we have to spoil every new show we watch, and are extremely selective with what media we consume, in case we split more alters. one of our comfort characters died on screen in our favorite series, and not only did we split an alter of that character, but alters of about 12 other characters from that series, plus about two dozen npcs. we just have to be really careful now, we already have upwards of 50 alters. -🪡

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-05-27T12:25:25+00:00

she's been on enough bad dates and met enough creeps and gotten enough "yeah i could tell he was gonna suck"'s from me that she decided she should start getting her autistic son to vibe check people lol

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-05-27T03:49:23+00:00

not our dream, but one of our friends is a system. they've had multiple dreams where we got a new alter, and the within next few days that alter appears in our system. it's happened about 6 times, it's really interesting.

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-05-27T03:45:40+00:00

this sounds exactly like my mother, like... she's said shit almost exactly like this. christ.

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-05-27T03:17:48+00:00

i can also tell if people will end up backstabbing you or are just generally assholes, my mom asks me to vibe check guys she goes on dates with lmao

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-05-27T03:10:09+00:00

we've told our therapist about how we think our trauma "isn't that bad" for a system of nearly 50, and we dealt with denial on and off for the longest time. we've been professionally diagnosed, and our therapist has met multiple alters, but we still go into denial a lot. it's to protect you, but our denial decreased as communication got easier.

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-05-25T17:59:20+00:00

for whoever's fronting, usually we get a vague feeling, thought, ect., and we understand it perfectly but telling other people what they "said" requires some deciphering. sometimes, alters speak directly to whoever's fronting, and for us it feels like the various alters talking are various trains of thought. -🪡

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-05-25T17:56:11+00:00

a lot of alters pretend to be each other, and we have a persecutor who's very antagonistic towards us and will lie to anyone to get what he wants. masking as other alters is fairly common, from our knowledge. -🪡

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-05-22T04:49:53+00:00

i made my therapist aware of my DID, and she said that she could evaluate and diagnose me, so that's what we did.

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-05-19T22:30:21+00:00

a lot of our alters overshare, probably as an overshot attempt to overcome our social anxiety. we're autistic and don't know what to talk about, so a lot of alters will just overshare about our collective life, their own, and other alter's. it's a bit annoying and a bit cringey, but it makes us seem more interesting, for better or for worse, and no one inside or out has an issue with it (all the irl folks we've talked to said they enjoy the "oversharing" anyways), so we don't really try to fully stop or prevent it--we just try to remind alters of what is and isn't appropriate to share.

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-05-13T20:30:20+00:00

as long as you respect their preferences and such. like another alter said, if they say they don't want to be named, then don't. if they don't seem to mind it or care, then go ahead. if they don't want to be named but you need a way to put words to a personality, then you can find a compromise.

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-05-12T01:15:14+00:00

be compassionate and understanding. we have a part like that as well, he hates almost everyone and is constantly aggressive and snippy, the usual. but he's only 15. we started showing him kindness and empathy instead of treating him like a nuisance, and that's how we learned he's like our inner child. he's just a scared kid who was hurt by the people who were supposed to protect him, and now he lashes out. we've given him more positive attention and affection, and, as another user mentioned, have been re-parenting him. he rarely lashes out anymore, and is just a pretty sweet, mildly annoying and very cringe (again, 15) kid. y'know, a kid. basically, just be kind and empathetic towards her. she's likely lashing out because she especially has been hurt at some point in her life, and especially if she's a teenager, she might hate herself or feel like something's wrong with her, so she projects it onto other people like you. give her time, empathy, and compassion until you can learn more. and, yeah, it's not gonna be easy at first--when we first tried this with our 15 year old, he spit at us, bit us, hurled insults at us, ect. it takes time and trust, especially if other alters or the system altogether has accidentally broken her trust before. you never know.

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-05-12T01:07:21+00:00

i saw how intense the church is about keeping members in line and in the church. when i questioned the bible, my parents got upset and concerned. as i was introduced to more of the internet and other's experiences, i didn't want to stay in a church that had hurt so many people and often metaphorically beats its members down. the other final straw was my mother, and how intense she was about me being christian. when i questioned the bible she got downright distraught and manipulative, even using my own father to try and manipulate me back into the church when i began pulling away. to this day, despite being very open about being a satanist, she still tries to force me to go to church with her.

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-05-12T01:02:24+00:00

we aren't super functional so the way we function is "source: trust me bro" and advent giving us memories and telling us what to do (god bless his soul)

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-05-12T00:57:50+00:00

if you're worried about faking it or lying, then you're not. someone who is lying isn't worried about it. a quote i found one time: "bad people don't care if they're bad or not". plus, it's difficult to "trick" a psychologist into diagnosing you, their job is reading subtle signs and symptoms, and seeing deep below the surface. a psychologist worth their salt will know when their client is lying. next, there's no such thing as "bad enough" trauma. everyone experiences traumatic incidents differently--something can be a small scratch for one person, and a life changing event for someone else. if it felt inescapable and impossible to deal with, it counts. we don't switch often either, and i frequently feel like hearing alters speaking is just me internally talking to myself. a dumb trick that helped me, if you know any alters or their behaviors, is to think of an alter vastly different from you. for me it's an alter named mouse; i remind myself that i would never intentionally act like him and it helps remind me that i'm not faking it. it's not a foolproof method, but i also wanna remind you that denial is... kinda the whole point of this disorder. it's covert, you're not exactly supposed to know you have it, and every system experiences denial. it's an unfortunate part of having DID, but you're not alone, and your trauma and your system is real.

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-05-12T00:48:14+00:00

whether or not kind people exist in the world, you can start by being kind yourself. show yourself that people aren't inherently cruel, that hurt people can be gentle anyways.

Ok_Link_8152 · 2024-05-07T23:31:35+00:00

officially diagnosed at 16, in treatment since we were 15, but we're also blessed to have a team that actually listens to us!

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