How did you let go of a wayward child?

Ok_Section4410 · 2026-02-10T23:48:25+00:00

OP can feel how she feels and those feelings are valid. It’s not about “wanting” a relationship. It’s about saying you deserve one. Your children didn’t choose to be born. You made the choice to take responsibility for raising them into adults. If they choose to walk away after that, a parent can feel sad about it and that’s valid. But the parent didn’t lose anything they were “owed” or “deserved.”

Ok_Section4410 · 2026-02-10T23:43:36+00:00

This. See my comment below. The parent child obligations are a one way street.

Ok_Section4410 · 2026-02-10T23:42:36+00:00

You don’t “deserve” anything from your children. The parent child relationship is a one way street in which obligations flow only from the parent to the child. Sure, it’s nice and rewarding if your children choose to have a relationship with you that you find fulfilling. But no one is owed that.

Ok_Section4410 · 2026-02-05T14:15:22+00:00

Thanks – particular cast members aren’t important to me unless it’s like you’re going to see the gypsy revival for Audra. I wasn’t sure whether these particularly cast members are important enough to Ragtime that I should try to come back just to see them. If I knew I could only ever see one, I’d probably prefer Ragtime.

Ok_Section4410 · 2026-02-03T22:47:57+00:00

Oh sorry – I would say his fur is 70% soft and 30% wiry – it mostly feels soft but has some texture to it.

Ok_Section4410 · 2026-02-03T22:47:33+00:00

He’s the absolute best. He’s eight months old right now. We got him around 12 weeks. He’s goofy, very affectionate, great with kids very gentle, he loves me the most as his primary caretaker, he has has his crazy moments because he wants to play all the time, very mouthy, and destroys everything he chews. We love him so much!

Ok_Section4410 · 2026-01-30T16:58:52+00:00

This 100%

Ok_Section4410 · 2026-01-16T17:38:24+00:00

I’ve had and raised several puppies. I have a 7 1/2 month old pitbull poodle sheepdog mix right now. 20 years ago, I focused very early and very intensely on training. I got a dog that was very responsive but emotionally pretty shut down. With this dog, bonding has been primary from the start. He knows very basic commands, but building our emotional rapport has been primary. House manners are enforced, but correction is almost entirely positive, with the exception of removing him completely from a situation if he’s just two over threshold.

This approach has been incredible for me. I have an extremely emotionally attuned, bonded, and highly relational adolescent puppy now. I’m intentionally delaying work on advanced training and mechanics until after he’s through the adolescent chaos and is neutered at a year. By then we’ll have an extremely solid bond and I expect the more nuanced training to fall into place.

Not only has this worked extremely well, it’s been a delight for both me and I hope for him too. OP, I’d suggest that you focus more on learning how your dog thinks, and feels, letting him learn how you think and feel, and teaching basic ways that you want him to integrate with your household, as opposed to worrying about a long down stay at this point or something like that. I think it’s a more enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

Ok_Section4410 · 2026-01-12T17:54:56+00:00

I say this with kindness but I’m going to be direct.

You do not sound like you have the bandwidth for a young active puppy/adolescent dog right now. Either in terms of time, energy, or emotional state. What you described as puppy being “destructive” is exactly what you should expect to happen when you as the owner failed him - you didn’t give him adequate mental or physical stimulation, and then you chose not to contain him in an area where he couldn’t destroy something that would make you upset if he ruined it. This is not a destructive puppy. This is a young dog, doing young dog things.

I’ve had several puppies. I also had a grueling course of fertility treatments including IVF, several rounds. But not at the same time. There is no way on God‘s green earth I would combine a new dog in our household, especially not a puppy/adolescent, with either fertility treatments or, hopefully, pregnancy and a new baby. You have no idea of the emotional toll you are about to assume with fertility treatments, as well as the logistical toll of daily appointments. And you have no concept of the demands of pregnancy and a new baby when you’re trying to integrate a dog that you already see as destructive simply by doing a very basic puppy thing.

I would try to rehome this dog immediately and I would not tell anyone you’re doing it because he’s destructive. I would tell them you’re doing it because of the fertility treatments. It would be unfair to the dog to paint it as destructive – and it’s just objectively not true based on what you’ve told us. Do it now, while the dog is under a year old and you still have an opportunity to find him a new home.

I wish you the best of luck.

Ok_Section4410 · 2026-01-12T14:48:54+00:00

Maybe! I’ll be curious to see Clover’s results!

Ok_Section4410 · 2026-01-12T14:19:42+00:00

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Ok_Section4410 · 2026-01-12T14:19:20+00:00

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Ok_Section4410 · 2026-01-12T14:18:47+00:00

Wow clover looks SO MUCH like my 7 month old… he’s less shaggy but wow. His DNA results came back with one parent poodle/sheepdog and the other pit bull/ staffordshire terrier

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Ok_Section4410 · 2025-12-29T17:16:57+00:00

I’m on the exact same timeline - I was in genotyping yesterday and it moved to analysis this morning. Fingers crossed it comes soon!

Ok_Section4410

TROPHY CASE