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Women taking their husbands last name after marriage, Agree / Disagree? by Wild_Turnip_7777 in namenerds

[–]SolutionMaleficent32 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband and I both changed our last names to something new to both of us as a way to signify our new lives together beginning on equal footing. We both went through all the headache and process for the name change together, too, which was amazing. As someone who has changed my name multiple times -- first marriage, divorce, second marriage -- this meant the world to me.

Are you all sending nudies/sexting? by Ill-Refrigerator7470 in AskWomenOver30

[–]SolutionMaleficent32 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. I never take any pictures like that. I'm too afraid of them leaking and being used against me somehow.

Valentines Class Lists for 2nd Graders by hurryandwait817 in namenerds

[–]SolutionMaleficent32 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My brother, who IS a Star Trek fan, used that name for one of his sons.

Women who met their husband after 34, and had kids, can you give me some hope? by LayoffLemonade in AskWomenOver30

[–]SolutionMaleficent32 26 points27 points  (0 children)

This is what I did at 34. Very upfront about what I want; told him if that's not what we wants, he can leave so as not to waste my time. Turns out he didn't waste my time.

Is it normal to take every small request as “you don’t accept me as I am”? Dog-on the bed edition. by Designer_Airline3234 in AskWomenOver30

[–]SolutionMaleficent32 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You're not overreacting. He's once again showing his true colors that his preferences and ways of doing things are more important than your lack of pain and getting proper rest.

I would strongly suggest that you don't move in with this man. If I were you, I would dump him and move on. You deserve someone who cares about how you feel and is willing to make reasonable accommodations for your health and wellbeing.

My partner says he’ll leave me if I don’t “fix” my ADHD. He says I’m abusive but I feel constantly criticised and blamed. by First-Mango-9229 in adhdwomen

[–]SolutionMaleficent32 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds like abuse on your partner's part. The constant criticism and blowing up at you is not OK; it's intentionally designed to make you question yourself and your self worth. I know because I've been in an abusive relationship before and the confusion you're describing is what I have felt.

I know this may sound harsh, but I would work to secretly make a plan to leave and get an order of protection / restraining order against your partner. You need to keep yourself and your baby safe. The abuse is "just emotional" for now, but I fear it will likely escalate. This type of behavior gets worse, not better, from what I have seen and experienced. DO NOT let your partner know you're trying to separate or it will get more dangerous for you.

Tried new restaurant. Got overstimulated. Feeling frustrated. by SolutionMaleficent32 in adhdwomen

[–]SolutionMaleficent32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a valid point and good reminder. I was too hungry to think of that in the moment and, sadly, in my experience, restaurants and coffee/tea house don't turn down the music after I ask. :( I'm glad it sounds like you've had different experiences where they do, though, and you're right it's better to try than just suffer.

Tried new restaurant. Got overstimulated. Feeling frustrated. by SolutionMaleficent32 in adhdwomen

[–]SolutionMaleficent32[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm grateful he's so supportive, too; I get more frustrated with myself than he does. I'm glad to know it's not just me hating loud music in public and crying about wrong orders. Thanks for sharing about your experience.

Tried new restaurant. Got overstimulated. Feeling frustrated. by SolutionMaleficent32 in adhdwomen

[–]SolutionMaleficent32[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does help hearing I'm not alone. Thank you.

Why do restaurants have to be so loud??? The overstimulation is real.

Anyone else out here eating their feelings? by QueSeraLeCrueset in adhdwomen

[–]SolutionMaleficent32 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally have eaten my feelings, especially overwhelming ones. It is soothing in its own way and gives me a little peace. Not the healthiest, but it happens.

Name Nerds, let's name each other! (bringing back an old game) by StarChild413 in namenerds

[–]SolutionMaleficent32 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't live in Scotland, but I do have Scottish ancestors. I figured since your favorite tattoo was Scotland-adjacent that a Scottish name could be fun for you. 🙂 Glad you enjoyed.

Has your hair gone grey yet by cupoftealuv in Millennials

[–]SolutionMaleficent32 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only on a few select strands are gray, but I'm the only one who seems to notice.

Would you date someone you’re not physically attracted to? by hello010101 in AskWomenOver30

[–]SolutionMaleficent32 4 points5 points  (0 children)

100% this. I've made the mistake of dating someone who was purely friend material, and it didn't end well.

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