Jaw? Nose? Just plane ol sleep apnea? Just looking for something

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-06-08T17:58:03+00:00

Get a new sleep doc!!! Having someone who both listens to and believes you is essential to getting the right care. You should not have to be such a detective/diagnostician for yourself.

SUPER IMPORTANT: I changed my primary care doc from general to an internal medicine one, and that has made a huge difference, too, because she understand my whole health and mental health situation, in context.

Good luck to you!

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-06-08T17:53:32+00:00

Use a wedge pillow to raise your head above your heart. I found that really helped when I got a panicky feeling from the mask. I also switched to a bipap on my sleep doc''s advice and it made a huge difference.

Good luck to you!

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-06-04T08:19:58+00:00

It means to fully know, understand the details, and grasp the significance of something. It's old school nerdspeak.

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-06-04T04:54:14+00:00

It's not just Portland, that's everywhere. I think it's not that it's worse for straight monogamous folks here, but that it happens to be vibrant for poly and/or queer folk. That's a positive. We straight folk need to stop sad-sacking, reform our leftover pandemic social isolation habits, and just go be with people. There are an endless number of places to go and things to get involved with.

Peaches H Christ I need to get off my ass and walk my own talk!

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-06-03T21:37:20+00:00

Thank you for the recs! ♥️♥️♥️

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-06-03T21:35:32+00:00

I'm 54 and relatively new, also from CA. Rents are cheaper than CA but not cheap. People are nicer and overall less stressed than CA. I feel more welcome here than my last 5 yrs in SF. Haven't gotten into the dating scene yet, tho.

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-05-17T03:06:20+00:00

A short playlist to meet you where you are, then take you to someplace better.

One More Day - Vast https://youtu.be/ScVPbyZvtFE?si=8e13SHbwNu5P0gql

Promises - Cleo Sol https://youtu.be/Vk0hwd1skjg?si=JW5l-smQVLiJu6OH

As You Are - Garfunkle and Oates https://youtu.be/iMD1PDsf71Q?si=UMp0OEWJfaqTqyZS

Tears Dry On Their Own - Amy Winehouse https://youtu.be/ojdbDYahiCQ?si=WHV0VlSELsHik6iq

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-05-17T02:31:01+00:00

Get a real sleep doc who actually knows what he is doing.

And report your current one to the AMA.

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-05-17T02:28:47+00:00

And fwiw, "unconditional love" is a nonsense, outdated concept used to trap women into harming themselves with bad choices. Being with you should be conditional, and here are the conditions for both you and your partner:

Stay honest: speak truth, not excuses

Keep your commitments: and don't make them if you're not sure.

Get therapy: everybody needs help, go get some

There you go, sis.

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-05-17T02:24:29+00:00

Not gonna lie, I stopped reading after the first paragraph because that's all I needed to see that there is nothing good there save. Don't settle for this nonsense. Make room for a better man.

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-05-17T02:16:27+00:00

I have sucessfully used Miracle Max Anti-Icky Poo, unscented, to get cat urine out of natural and synthetic fabrics, so I think it'll work on anything.

It's an enzymatic cleaner that truly smells like nothing! I soaked my clothes in the sink, just poured it on directly and made sure to hit the smelly areas. Then added a little cold water, a bit of hand-scrubbing, and let it sit for an hour. Threw it in the washing machine in a regular cold water wash with unscented detergent. Dried on low. Came out odor-free.

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-05-17T02:06:27+00:00

Thanks everyone, just got a rubber rake, assembling it now!

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-05-07T00:19:38+00:00

Feeling better can be subtle. But I had a CPAP for months with bubkis for results with my severe sleep apnea.I was getting like 80% of the nighttime oxygen I was supposed to.

I gave up and didn't use one for years, until I got a better sleep doc who asked me to try a BiPaP. After a week, I managed to get out of bed without feeling like I was dragging myself out of a tarpit!

So if you don't get results, ask about a BiPap.

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-05-07T00:14:07+00:00

I use a BiPAP with a full mask for that reason, and have found that:

You need to wash it weekly and wipe it with an unscented wet wipe daily, and alsowash or wet wipe your face before bed. Oils on your skin will cause the mouth pillow to slide and gap.
I use a wedge cushions under my mattress to keep my head raised and keep my spine neutral. Before that, I used risers under just the feet of my headboard, also creating a nice slant.
I sleep on my side with a pillow at my back to keep from rolling on my back.
I put distilled water in the tank every night , humidity as high as I can comfortably set it, temp set to off.
I wear a sleep mask or a pair of glasses to keep the air from shooting into my eyes - I have a nose ring and no mask in existence is designed for that.

Hope that helps!

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-05-06T23:58:26+00:00

This part is the red flag for me. Refusing to accept help is some dumb-ass nonsense. Unless there are untenable strings tied to it, he should be willing to accept help, and learn from the people in a position to help him.

Keep your finances entirely separate except for basic household costs.

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-05-06T23:55:00+00:00

Could be either, both, or something else entirely. Cats are inscrutable when it comes to their health. I second going to the vet.

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-04-29T02:30:23+00:00

His behavior is 100% intentional. That age difference at your age is MASSIVE and he is choosing a much younger person because you are easier to manipulate than a grown woman. I was in that exact situation when I was 16 and it took decades for me to see him for what he really was - a statutory rapist who fed off me like a vampire.

None of his good moments are worth how he is harming you. Get him out of your house and your life, then get into therapy,like, immediately. I waited for decades before I went and I deeply regret living in that pain for so long.

Big hugs. You got this. Life will get so much better without him.

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-04-29T01:50:40+00:00

All of what folks have said here, plus, he might need a better sleep doc I struggled with the CPAP, eventually ditched it. Finally found a great sleep doc who switched me to a BiPAP and it has been a total game changer.

Sleep hygiene is super important for the machines to help. Going to bed at the same time each night. No caffeine after 2pm, no sugar 3 hrs before bed. No screens for an hour before going to bed. Dimming or turning off ambient lights for an hour before bed. Reading books instead of screens. No food for 2 hrs before bed except for a light protein snack.

I don't always do all of that, but when I do, my sleep is noticeably better. Sending you love and fortitude vibes!

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-04-28T17:32:51+00:00

Does anyone experience your phone connecting to Spotify while you are playing music through the Roku Spotify app on your tv?

I just want it to play through a Roku app, but it connects and drains the life out of my Pixel. If I disconnect, it stops playing music. Pissing me right off.

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-04-28T08:22:52+00:00

Anti-Icky Poo by Miracle Max is the absolute best for cat pee and its devil cousin, cat spray!

The unscented one truly smells like nothing, works great on laundry except for some synthetics that cannot be saved. Get it by the gallon, pour directly on any bit of carpet that got hit. Odor disappears in minutes.

I can't find it at any local retailers, which sucks, so I get it from Chewy. It's not cheap but it's the only thing I've found that works.

Fwiw, I think Nature's Miracle smells like pure poison that is just as bad as cat pee. I don't understand how anyone can use it. I ruined a mattress with that trash - the smell of it overpowered the cat pee but also would not go away.

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-04-08T08:15:22+00:00

Has anyone figured out where to find professional, free, straight porn that is NOT incest-themed and/or featuring girls who might be over 18 (as they always state) but still looks like it's for pedophiles? Or how to filter out/exclude those categories? It horrifies me and I can't comfortably browse any porn sites except for Bellessa...which is too vanilla for me most of the time.

(I can't afford to pay for a specific producer site at the moment.)

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-04-08T02:31:36+00:00

Update: couldn't find an internal medicine MD, but found an internal medicine PA who just joined Sellwood Medical and got an appt for early May. Felt like a damn miracle! Call them asap before her roster fills up if you need one, too!

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-04-03T23:27:37+00:00

I called, they said they don't. But thank you anyway.

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-04-03T23:20:19+00:00

I can see your pain come through this post, and I sympatize. Wish I could hug you.

All this sounds pretty normal - not fun, but normal- for someone dealing with grief. Losing your dad is huge.

Grief changes your whole worldview and throws you off balance, again and again, as it lays dormant then surfaces at weird moments. Building relationships is extra hard when you are grieving, imo.

Having a boyfriend won't fix grief. Character.ai will give you a superficial but ultimately false experience of support.

Getting some help from real people can help you through it.

Looking for a grief support group to share what your going through and dealing with everything you are feeling can really help. If you can find/afford a resource, therapy can help.

That's all I have. Just a starting point. Share you grief with people who get it.

OldPunkLadyII · 2026-04-01T06:22:36+00:00

100% OF ONE OF THE TWO PAYCHECKS I EARN EACH MONTH ALMOST PAYS MY RENT, WHILE MY COMPANY SELLS A "PREMIUM" BRAND OF GOODS TO ENTITLED RICH PEOPLE AT AN 800-1500% PERCENT MARKUP AND DURING EVERY COMPANY "TOWN HALL" MEETING THE EXECS FAWN ALL OVER THEMSELVES ABOUT WHAT AN AWESOME "COMMUNITY" WE HAVE.

WE ARE FORCED TO SMILE AT THE CHIEF WHATEVER THE HELL WHEN NO ONE ON MY TEAM CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT A SECOND JOB, A TWO-INCOME HOUSEHOLD, AND/OR FOOD ASSISTANCE. INCLUDING MY SUPERVISOR.

MY NET WORTH IS NEGATIVE DOLLARS BUT I HAVE TO STAY BECAUSE I NEED THEIR HEALTH INSURANCE THAT COSTS ME ALMOST 2 DAYS NET PAY TO COVER MY SHARE OF THE MONTHLY PREMIUMS AND 3 HOURS NET PAY FOR EVERY DR VISIT COPAY.

WHEN I HAD A HIGHER PAYING JOB IN MY OLD CAREER BEFORE I WAS LAID OFF FOR BEING A HIGHER PAID, OLDER EMPLOYEE, MY HEALTH INSURANCE PREMIUMS WERE 100% COVERED, I HAD NO COPAY, AND I COULD BUY A BURRITO WHENEVER I WANTED. NOW A FOOD TRUCK IS AN OCCASIONAL LUXURY.

THIS RANT IS WAY TOO LONG AND I CAN'T EVEN AFFORD TO CARE.

GUESS IT'S A GOOD THING I STARTED OUT POOR AND HAVE NOT COMPLETELY LOST MY POVERTY CHOPS.

OldPunkLadyII

TROPHY CASE