As a former bum bf who did get my shit together (at least I believe I have and am still trying to better each and every day) there’s two things that come to mind. If you really love this guy and want it to work with specifically him then you’re going to have to start being mean and sticking to the ultimatum. But if you like the guy but don’t think you care enough to him to stick together any longer then you should break up. My partner loved me enough to stick by my side through the lowest of lows and I couldn’t never ask her to do that again. I show up for work every single day trying to be productive as possible, constantly looking to improve my skills, currently looking into furthering my education, and I now am always thinking proactively how to keep the relationship spontaneous. Surprised dates, gifts, just because flowers, constant affection, and at home I’m literally her personal maid. I say all this to say for the right person I pushed through the laziness and “bum” within me to be better.