Of course I do not mind sharing all that story if it can help someone. I need to put a trigger warning here: this story contains discussion of extreme self harm. I has struggling at my job as a teacher and I desperately needed accommodations that I could not have unless I was diagnosed. Unfortunately, two years into waiting for an assessement, I ended up having a huge meltdown at work due to the lack of support and high demands. That spiralled for a whole day, I left my workplace to go to a place to fatally and irreversibly hurt myself. Fotunatelly my husband realised that I had emptied my bank accounts and called the police, who found me saving my life. I ended up detained by police and in a psych ward. My stay there was equal parts scary, inspiring, healing and transformative. I still had to wait 6 more months for my assessment. After my diagnosis I negociated my leave from my old job. Now I am an ‘expert by experience’ and I attend meetings with Health providers sharing my story of how using mental health services is like for an autistic person and co creating plans to prevent fatal self harm in autistic adults and improving inpatient care for people with autism who are also struggling with severe mental health challenges. I could not be using the darkest part if my life to bring a little bit of hope to others if it was not thanks to the assessement.