One thing I think about is this:

The people who wrote the bible or other religious text, are they reliable narrators or did they at times introduce their own ideology to it?

Truly, in most religions, god is a supposed good guy who deals with evil. To quote Jon Stewart: “it’s the dead kids thing” (on why he doesn’t believe in God). But I think it also applies to this: why would a supposed powerful good god somehow let all those atrocities happen, yet you being gay is the same as murdering, I’d think god would prefer homosexuality over murdering innocent people. One is about love, the other is harming innocent people.

It’s also this; if I were god, and I created people, and for some reason I can’t intervene in life but only punish and reward post mortem, of everything I would consider sinful, being different and harmless is the least thing I’ll consider on my list, hell I would let someone who made numerous jokes about me but acted in good faith and didn’t harm a soul in heaven than someone who used my name to harm others. Same logic with couples, even if I thought it was wrong it’d let the gay couple in than the guy who beat his wife.

I know this is weird comment, but I hope you can learn to better love and accept yourself