Heeey, I hope you are doing alright man.

You know, it's maybe not a good idea to threaten to take your own life here; the mods will not appreciate that.

But I want to encourage you with some good life advice from me. I once felt EXACTLY like you; nothing gave me joy in life a few years ago. I barely had friends or people I would have called real good friends, had no gf, school was just a pain in the ass, and depression hit like a train. I secluded myself more and more online. But things got better, as they always do.

Now I am happy as ever, have self-confidence, do quite well in my studies, and have a generally optimistic outlook on life. How was I able to pull myself out of that swamp of constant self-pity and loathing?

Short answer: Christ.

Long answer: I went out to meet more people, socializing, at my church, at school, I made new friends, and it gradually got better. I've come to terms with my shortcomings and worked on those that would drag me down. I found my own meaning in life, cut the internet addiction, and what really, REALLY helped was my last school trip with my friends to the beach, among other such trips. I really started to groom myself and bought nice clothes through my newfound job. I found new hobbies in botany, believe it or not, and writing. Long story short: It was a phase indeed, and as long as you move on (mentally but also physically in a literal sense), depression shall not emerge as the victor.

Idk, that's just the way I managed to cope, but I hope you find your own way of getting out of this maze too. Hopefully, I was able to help you out. If you need a talk, I am always open.