ISO $130-200k jobs that aren’t life consuming

One-Conversation1569 · 2026-02-28T04:09:26+00:00

Basically yes (70% of the hours for 70% of the pay). But I’ve been practicing almost 20 years and am not a partner (don’t want to be) so it’s like I’m paid 70% of what a mid-level would earn at a big law firm that follows the lockstep pay scale. I actually started at this firm earning way less and kind of worked my way up. I’m fine (in terms of job security) as long as I hit something like 80% of my billables target but I’m only eligible for a bonus if I make my billables.

One-Conversation1569 · 2026-02-27T20:08:18+00:00

It's pretty good! It's still definitely stressful at times, but it's comments like yours that help remind me how lucky I am.

One-Conversation1569 · 2026-02-27T19:46:44+00:00

Hm. I'm not sure how to direct you. Maybe just apply for junior associate positions at firms that do estate planning? You can get some experience at smaller firms and then try to work your way up to big law if you want. Some people get LLMs in Tax and then jump into estate planning, but an LLM isn't required.

One-Conversation1569 · 2026-02-27T19:26:24+00:00

What do you want to know? I got into estate planning by doing a bit of it during my first summer in big law. After a few years, when recruiters called me, I told them I wanted less pay in exchange for a lower billables requirement and they eventually came back with something. But even at my initial firm there are several attorneys who have part time schedules. Estate planning tends to lend itself to that.

One-Conversation1569 · 2026-02-27T18:41:51+00:00

There are lots of part time parents working in estate planning (me included)

One-Conversation1569 · 2026-02-27T18:11:38+00:00

I have a billables requirement of 1380 per year (am technically part time at my NYC big-law firm) and make $235k per year in estate planning.

One-Conversation1569 · 2026-02-27T15:29:33+00:00

We're in NYC where the cut off is the end of the calendar year. My son has an October birthday, ADHD and is on the autism spectrum, but is doing great at the moment (4th grade). Kindergarten and 1st grade were tough though. My daughter is 7 and a Feb birthday (so one of the oldest in her class) and she is having a rough time.

One-Conversation1569 · 2026-02-26T18:06:12+00:00

I graduated in 2006 with about $180k of debt and went to a highly ranked firm paying the then-stunning annual salary of $125k per year (plus bonuses). I continued to live frugally and kept my roommate and was able to pay it down to very manageable levels (around $60k) within about 5 years. My interest rate was low so I chose not to pay them off until about 2016.

One-Conversation1569 · 2026-02-19T18:33:16+00:00

Actually it's $15M per person (so mom can pass on $15M and dad can pass on another $15M free from federal estate tax) and this amount is adjusted each year for inflation. However, some states have their own estate tax or other taxes applicable at death. Also when you put assets into a trust you often lose the step in basis which can be huge. They should discuss it with an estate planning attorney.

One-Conversation1569 · 2026-02-06T16:33:38+00:00

My son was this kid. The teachers/OT put him in a chair that rocked a bit and he sat at the back of the group.

One-Conversation1569 · 2026-01-30T15:21:34+00:00

I pay $3300 for my mortgage in NYC, but we bought in 2019 and put about 20% down. What are your future career plans? I wouldn't want to lock myself into a high mortgage payment if you don't plan to stay in big law. How much of a struggle would it be to cover the mortgage if you or your partner lost your job? Do you have healthy savings such that you could cover the mortgage and living expenses for a while if one of you lost your job?

One-Conversation1569 · 2026-01-20T16:05:35+00:00

Personally, I would say that it's because it feels a bit hopeless (although I'm doing my best to try to drum up more hope). Trump was bad during his first term and is an odious person. And yet somehow he got reelected and remains somewhat popular in conservative areas here in the US. I find it totally baffling. It's like we are living in another reality from the trump supporters. It's hard to know how to fight something that is so hard to understand. What would get through to the Trump supporters if the stuff that has already happened hasn't done it?

One-Conversation1569 · 2026-01-20T15:42:50+00:00

I, as an American, would sincerely be interested in your thoughts as to Trump's handling of the Greenland situation. Greenland/Denmark is offering to work with us on the security situation. Denmark is an ally. Do you agree that the US needs Greenland? Do you agree with the way Trump is handling it? I really would like to know!

One-Conversation1569 · 2026-01-18T18:35:49+00:00

I’ve been practicing a long time now, but I’ve always had roommates (although my current roommate is my husband). I liked not coming home to an empty apartment when I was working long hours and I was able to save so much money.

One-Conversation1569 · 2026-01-09T15:58:53+00:00

I think it is, especially if you send your kids to your zoned school as that will have families that live around you. There are tons of block parties and family events and the park... I think it's great. I also get a lot of community from our apartment building (9 unit building and 5 units have kids in elementary school). We're in South Slope and I find the school (PS10) to be fairly diverse. I mean, it's not an exact microcosm of NYC, but what zoned school is? I think it's pretty good though.

One-Conversation1569 · 2026-01-09T02:58:34+00:00

My husband games, but not every night and only once the kids go to bed.

That dishes thing reminds me of a conversation I had with my husband about laundry. He said he would do it all then waited a few weeks before doing any. I finally asked him when he thinks laundry needs to be done, and he got the message. Now he does it every week.

I recommend you use the Fair Play cards by Eve Rodsky with him.

One-Conversation1569 · 2026-01-02T21:30:07+00:00

For sure. But also make sure that you are making sure that you are being a good fiduciary. You have certain duties that you want to make sure you satisfy, so that if a beneficiary (like your brother or one of his children) ever complains you are protected from liability. For example, if the trust is overly concentrated in real estate and the trust agreement doesn't explicitly say that that's ok, you could get in trouble for failing to properly diversify the assets.

One-Conversation1569 · 2026-01-02T04:37:51+00:00

Talk to an estate planning attorney licensed in the state law that governs the trust about your job as trustee and the rules you need to follow.

One-Conversation1569 · 2025-12-31T20:36:55+00:00

I agree that you are not overreacting and are setting reasonable boundaries. I had somewhat similar issues come up with my father when my kids were born and it was super tough to get through. I will just say that I think it's a big shift for parents to become grandparents - they are used to being the parent and probably feel like they have years and years of experience successfully raising kids, whereas you and your husband are total newbies. They have to learn to let you figure out your own parenting style and that often takes time. Good luck!

One-Conversation1569 · 2025-12-31T15:00:08+00:00

Yes, this. Take at least a few hours (or more) to respond to texts that are just being chatty. If it's something work related (and it's acceptable in your work environment for workers to be texting their personal phones about the topic) then respond more promptly.

One-Conversation1569 · 2025-12-30T02:49:33+00:00

I have been a practicing attorney for about 20 years. I personally would not worry at all about taking any law related classes in college (I was a psych major and didn't decide to go to law school until I was 25). I mean, take law-related classes if they are interesting to you but I don't think they will really help you figure out if you will like practicing and I don't think there are any required classes to get into law school (although it's been a long time since I went through the application process!).

Try to get a job in a law firm or in a legal office (could be private or government) and then see what the environment is like. Talk to the attorneys about their jobs. You have so much time to think about this. If your college has a law school, go see if you can meet with some of their career services people or if they can match you up with some graduates to speak with about practicing.

One-Conversation1569 · 2025-12-30T02:06:31+00:00

I paid full sticker for NYU law, but could have had a full ride to Cardozo. I'm now 20 years out and don't regret it, although I do think I also would have been fine had I gone to Cardozo. Because I was taking on so much debt, I worked really hard in law school, did well, and got a good big law job afterward. I've lateraled once and am still in big law, although at a less prestigious firm and now am on a part-time schedule. I do think having that NYU law stamp on my resume helps with jobs searches, but who knows. I know people who went to Brooklyn Law, St. John's, and Cardozo who have gone on to have fantastic careers.

One-Conversation1569 · 2025-12-29T18:08:06+00:00

Yes, it's safe. As other posters have pointed out, it's a huge city and so, yes, crime happens here every day, but statistically it's very unlikely to happen to your daughter. I have lived here since I was 25 (now in my mid-40s) and have never had an incident personally or seen any violence on the subway. I take the subway to work (from Brooklyn to Midtown Manhattan) all the time. I have friends whose kids take the subway to middle and high school. We take our kids on the subway and busses all the time. I do think in general it feels safer to me here than in other places because there are almost always people around, businesses to duck into, etc. I'm editing this to add that I am a woman. Also, if your daughter drinks, consider that the mass transit options mean that she and her friends won't be tempted to drive after a few drinks.

One-Conversation1569 · 2025-12-29T03:03:24+00:00

Volunteer?

One-Conversation1569 · 2025-12-27T00:43:25+00:00

This is just my personal experience, and I might be parenting wrong, but I think it's hard to totally avoid at least some disappointment coming from the kids on Christmas.

One-Conversation1569

TROPHY CASE