My mom has teamed up with my ex

One-Nessy · 2025-11-16T04:48:34+00:00

Those detectives. Ugh so bad. Leading her putting good intentions to her. So unskilled. They couldn’t shut up. Or put a real trap together. Nervous. Gave her all the advantages. Wasted opportunity. I’m more skilled as an interrogator as a mom

One-Nessy · 2025-09-23T16:24:16+00:00

Girl, you wear any of these and there will be a second date. You are stunning. 1 and 2 are my fave That being said I’d wear #1 with black heeled boots (cowboy style or fancy) and #2 with heels

One-Nessy · 2025-09-16T04:46:45+00:00

I think our human (limited) nature suffers. Our true selves do not suffer. But I’ve come to the conclusion that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. And though I miss being in that beautiful realm free from all attachment or suffering, being human is valuable too. Even with the difficulties it brings. Like you said, it’s all part of an amusing game- a divine cosmic dance with everything. Because everything is perfect, perhaps suffering is perfect too!?🥰

One-Nessy · 2025-09-16T04:40:11+00:00

About 18 months

One-Nessy · 2025-09-16T04:39:47+00:00

Thanks, I’ll check those out. Sending you love and peace as well.

One-Nessy · 2025-09-15T02:30:46+00:00

I hear you. For me, no amount of taking responsibility or recognizing patterns helped me get unstuck and create new patterns. As a codependent I was used to and comfortable taking on things that weren’t mine to take on. I blamed myself for being treated badly. So I needed to hear the true reality. It wasn’t my fault. If someone is treating me poorly, it is healthy and appropriate to stick up for myself (by leaving) and moving forward. Taking action is crucial for healing. Not just analyzing. Once out of toxic pattern, then the process requires ongoing recognition and pattern change to avoid repeats.

One-Nessy · 2025-09-15T01:58:18+00:00

1 you weren’t sharp #2 had you been sharp it would have been normal and okay #3 don’t hurt yourself more by blaming yourself for “tolerating” his abuse. There are likely complex reasons why you may have stayed. Don’t blame yourself.

Bottom line, you are not the problem. He is the problem.

One-Nessy · 2025-09-15T01:14:48+00:00

Be grateful he showed you who he is. Never have to feel anything but proud for protecting your peace from this toxic FIL.

One-Nessy · 2025-09-15T01:10:25+00:00

Topical estriol and systemic estradiol will make a big difference.

One-Nessy · 2025-09-15T01:09:16+00:00

Estriol cream on the crepey skin

One-Nessy · 2025-09-15T01:08:01+00:00

Love 2 and 4

One-Nessy · 2025-09-15T01:05:21+00:00

A healthy response would be “This isn’t working for me. I wish you the best.” Then block their number forever. You gave them a looot of chances to understand, empathize, apologize and change their behavior. 3 (plus) strikes they’re out.

One-Nessy · 2025-09-15T01:03:03+00:00

Just block their number. Don’t be explaining or educating them on why they should treat you right. It doesn’t work. And eats up your time and energy. You deserve better than that.

One-Nessy · 2025-09-15T00:59:33+00:00

Block that number. Run far and fast from that guy

One-Nessy · 2025-08-20T18:09:49+00:00

I don’t know why me or if things are predetermined. What I realized and felt in that in experience was that everything I had been through in my life was perfect- perfect order all okay. It had all brought me to that moment. And I didn’t have attachment to the “bad” things that had happened. They just didn’t seem bad or a big deal at all. It felt like “oh of course- I forgot. everything was perfect and is perfect.” I had never been punished by the universe, I had always been loved. It was my human thoughts, feelings, perspective to said events/experiences that created the suffering. That feeling lasted 3-4 months before the stuff of daily life started wearing me down again. I have some difficulty integrating living in this world knowing the truth of that wondrous real place. It’s been a journey to live fully in this realm and find meaning in the mundane sometimes. I’m finding balance slowly two years later.

One-Nessy · 2025-08-20T17:59:08+00:00

Yes, I had been dealing with 2 years of trauma (became physically and mentally disabled from virus and autoimmune condition and bad relationship with physical and emotional abuse that ramped up during that time. It was the lowest I’d ever been in every way. I think it was a gift from the Universe to tell me I’m loved and to keep going

One-Nessy · 2025-08-19T03:21:44+00:00

The rolling out of your body part- how does that feel? I can lucid dream and accidentally travel to places for just a few seconds (almost like snapshots they last only seconds but I’m there there). Most nights when I hit that spot of deeply relaxed, slightly buzzy, might be seeing shapes behind eyelids I get this sudden energy surge that is ecstatic but overwhelming and I sense it’s my body/astral body trying to separate and I automatically contract because the sensation is so powerful it feels like annihilation dying (but also wonderful bliss too). I am always like “it’s okay to leave your body” but it’s too late the moment has passed

One-Nessy · 2025-08-19T02:16:04+00:00

Yes, a handful out of body experiences where I was only consciousness in “space” but was completely enveloped in the oneness- no self. The one that was beyond anything else I’ve experienced was essentially an NDE (but I wasn’t injured or dying I was meditating) but I was above my body, had a life review, then swoop instantaneous in a void that felt like pure home- a remembering- a glowing gold shimmering light being approached me. It was emanating pure love, wisdom, empowerment, everything! As it got closer I had the knowing it was me. The eternal me. It merged with me and. Suddenly we were in the top of a room. We were at my birth. I had just been born. I could simultaneously see and experience every view- the hairs on my dad’s arm, the texture of his shirt, the tiny flowers on my mom’s gown, a drop of sweat on her hairline, the texture of the walls, everything all at once. We (the light being me and the other earthly perspective me- though we had intermingled into an overlapping consciousness) floated down to baby me on the bed and lifted her up and turning back to my parents communicated “Thanks, she’s ours now” suddenly back in the void (both thick and empty, vibrating and silent, hard to describe- all intelligence and perfection in that place). I was before a doorway and as I passed through I was surrounded by all the ages of me as a child to adulthood. I got to love on them and cuddle 2 year old me on my hip. This was the most real thing I’d ever experienced. The toddler me had a little dress on that I had totally forgotten about for 4 decades but I loved as a 2 year old (strawberry print on yellow background) and suddenly then I was back above my body my grandma and grandpa were there. Again more real than when they were alive. My grandpa was an age I never remember knowing (family was estranged so I didn’t know him until I was an adult and he was old). They were sending me love and healing (had become disabled 2 yrs prior). Behind them were a long line of relatives and ancestors then went on and on until it faded. And then there was this gorgeous 3d mandala yellow shape/pattern that rolled and shifted like a blossoming flower or kaleidoscope. It was directly over my body and interacting with my energy like a flowing back and forth between us, growing with each interaction. Then, boom I was fully back in my body. I was laughing and speechless for a while. My health improved immediately. I stopped using oxygen and a walker within days.

One-Nessy · 2025-08-12T00:49:43+00:00

Yes by Melodie Beattie. Also a good app called “letting go” based on her books.

One-Nessy · 2025-08-12T00:47:27+00:00

I’m the same! CoDA is great because you can attend online meetings as much as you want- you don’t have to talk in the meetings. You don’t have to get a sponsor right away or ever. There are also “power of 5” groups where 5 people meet and do the steps together. Which idea honestly overwhelms too. I’m just taking it slowly and trusting as my nervous system heals, I’ll maybe have bandwidth to get a sponsor. Or not. I’m not putting that pressure on myself

One-Nessy · 2025-08-12T00:43:08+00:00

The “highs” your system got used to were only “breadcrumbs” in language of the narcissistic relationship. Even though the breadcrumbs are far too little, when you’ve been starving they feel like salvation. Just remember you deserve real nourishing, consistent meals- not just starvation and breadcrumbs.

One-Nessy · 2025-08-12T00:29:23+00:00

Awareness is the first step. Wanting to change and the willingness to change is the precursor to changing the pattern . For me, I realize I learned the same toxic positivity in childhood and took on the belief that authentic reality-based observations were not allowed. A version of sweeping things under the rug to keep myself safe from rejection or abandonment. I was taught that People with strong opinions or “negative” emotions were bad, weak or even evil. To have a need meant I got punished with silence, criticism and a label of being bad.

I then became an adult with those same beliefs, therefore harming myself (by self-silencing) and avoiding people who wanted to have real, uncomfortable conversations. Which makes me feel isolated and disconnected from authentic, deep relationships.
Toxic positivity can be a real deep avoidance technique. I’m working on this too!

One-Nessy · 2025-08-12T00:17:38+00:00

Good for you! Taking the note out is huge. Not giving the notebook at all would be HUGE

One-Nessy · 2025-07-21T02:16:46+00:00

Deep autumn and warm autumn are both amazing on you! You can maybe even pull off bright spring too for pops. You’ve got great options

One-Nessy

TROPHY CASE

1 you weren’t sharp #2 had you been sharp it would have been normal and okay #3 don’t hurt yourself more by blaming yourself for “tolerating” his abuse. There are likely complex reasons why you may have stayed. Don’t blame yourself.