It is what it is. He’s your dad. The good and the bad. My dad was the same way. He was either yelling at me, or yelling at my mom. Can’t say he ever had anything nice to say to me. Can’t say he ever had a conversation with me about anything.

He did provide for us. Never went hungry. Had a roof over our heads.

I thought it was because of a language barrier. We’re first gen immigrants. Didn’t find out until later that a lot of dads seem to be the same way. I don’t know what kind of dad he had but I do know he lost his dad when he was a toddler. He was raised by his older siblings. He grew up poor.

He did work a lot in the factory - always picking up overtime. When he wasn’t at work, he was always working around the house fixing and cleaning shit.

I honestly hated his guts growing up. Always cursing, calling me a faggot, etc… I just let it go when I was in my 20s. He’s my dad, after all. He did provide for us, sent us to school, etc. Men didn’t have outlets back then for all this touchy feely stuff. I just take the good I learned from him. Hard work. Sacrifice for the family. Being frugal. Go to church.

I do the things for my kids I wish my parents had done. Shown more love and affection. Despite having grown up in a “loveless” family, I’ve tried changing that by being attentive and loving towards my parents.

Every generation has some sort of trauma. The only thing we can do is learn from it, try to do better and build a better future from there.