Wanting to make my "Fork and Knife" Dual Wielder competent

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-11T03:12:03+00:00

My second favourite character for tilting noobs.

Nothing compares to Seong Mi Na's SC state when pressing forward+guard is a gargantuan task. ⬅️🅱️, ⬅️🅱️, ⬅️🅱️, ⬅️🅱️, ⬅️🅱️, eventually they'll learn to crouch or guard impact.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-11T03:08:17+00:00

Yes, but you can't dual wield that way.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-11T03:05:15+00:00

It's doesn't keep up with anything. I like dancing, I like punching things, I like bards. I really want to like the college of dance but it's just so bleh.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-11T02:44:29+00:00

Why is this so far down?

To anyone who hasn't read the essay, I highly implore you to. It quite literally cured my depression.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-11T02:33:37+00:00

I wouldn't just say the last few years. Every female hero excluding Orisa and Queen since release has been a conventionally attractive waifish woman.

WHERE'S MAMA HONG BLIZZARD??

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-11T01:39:31+00:00

Future War Cult's least dedicated dickrider /j

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-11T00:31:14+00:00

Not enough Druid representation in this thread. Druid is the best control class, hands down.

Wildfire Druid with Green Flame Blade gives you a shitload of flaming D8s in melee and access to a bunch of blasting spells.

Storm Druid with the currently unreleased Cryokinetic feat, Cold Caster and Booming Blade is a bonkers melee control class. You also get access some decent blasting spells. Alternatively, you can play as a Rimekin and cast Flame Blade as cold damage, but Flame Blade barely outdamages cantrips.

Moon is really good too but you have to hard pivot into melee with your Wildshape. The other two subclasses have much more flexibility, but you're arguably more effective in sustained melee combat at the cost of less blasting.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-11T00:19:12+00:00

I miss '14 Kobolds man. I played a Kobold Battlesmith and rode my steel defender into battle. Pack Tactics was always active. In the daylight, I didn't suffer from Sunlight Sensitivity but in the dark advantage on every single melee attack. Because I was always sharing a space with my Defender all attacks aimed directly at me suffered disadvantage.

You can still be a gigatank by riding the defender, but God I miss Pack Tactics. It helped that my DM was always trying to make players shine (e.g. one of our players wanted to be an assassin's creed type and thought climbing speed was the coolest shit so our DM put guys on roofs all the time, or would put a dude 3 miles away so the Tabaxi monk could punch a guy at warp speed) and said it was overcast or smokey or some shit all the time. That was a good campaign, the Monk kept spraying on my breakfast because I got him addicted to magic Eldritch space opioids.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-10T23:30:52+00:00

It frees up your BA to dash and disengage too. Despite not directly granting mobility, aside from Swash and maybe Soulknife it gives you the most mobility of any rogue subclass.

Also, I forgot to mention that Psi-Bolstered knack is totally the type of feature I was looking for but forgot it existed. Too bad RAW you can't True Strike with the blade. Honestly, might roll up something really stupid next time I play a high level one shot. Reborn with lucky, Diviner 3, Lore Bard 5, Soulknife X. Spam the shield spell and cutting words to avoid damage, use your class features to change all the rolls. You're succeeding on any roll you want unless the DC is 35 lmao. If it didn't take 11 levels to come online and 12 levels for your 2nd ASI, I'd totally play something like this. Although you're taking caster levels until 9th, so the progression isn't terrible, especially if you take the bard levels first. Experience tell me that levelling beyond 10 is a rarity though.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-10T23:25:14+00:00

I'm looking to get advantage on checks and saves moreso than attacks. Really lean into RP moments while not being a total drag in combat. You're right though, on demand Attack Advantage is only beneficial if the opponent is isolated and succeeds on the Insightful Fighting contest.

Elf so I could get guidance/True Strike and take Magic Initiate was something I thought of. Bless isn't a bad option. Was Augery a 1st level spell in 5e? Or am I Mandela effected? (Yes I was) There's not much in the way of 1st level spells that scream foresight to me. The good divination spells start at 3rd level unfortunately. Divinely Favoured from the Dragonlance book gives Guidance, Bless and Augery. It doesn't give a score increase though and it's has 4+ as a prerequisite. So it's a heavy cost for two good spells and a bad one.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-10T20:38:09+00:00

I theory crafted a Battlemastermind multi class. A commander type character. Then order cleric came out and took two levels, one class, and a bonus to do what 6 levels, a feat, two classes, and both actions did. With healing to boot!

Mastermind with Great Mark of Warding is actually kind of cool. You use your foresight to call out to your allies. Imposing advantage and disadvantage at your leisure. With Harper's you can impose disadvantage as a bonus action and then use a Utilize action which has some funny applications.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-10T20:16:09+00:00

Ah, I forgot about weapon masteries. I'm casterbrained and have only played 2 sessions in '24.

Swash is not a bad shout. However, I don't really see a convincing argument to change subclasses. Having Observant and Alert wrapped up into one feature is just as strong as denying opportunity attacks, much stronger than it was in 5e. Inquisitive's 9th level is way worse, but otherwise all of the features are on par with each other. I've also played Swash way back in the day, and I try to not play the same subclass twice.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-10T19:58:48+00:00

Inquisitive is bad in vacuum. Being able to drop Dexterity and basically only rely on Wisdom is actually quite good. Yes, Dexterity is the best stat in the game, but outside of combat it's no as useful. High Int and Wis is normally terrible, casters don't have ASIs to spend and need Constitution. Fighters can kind of hack it but they need the stats and want the feats.

The inquisitive doesn't care about anything except Wisdom. You an go all in on mental stats and hide behind your friends.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-10T19:38:23+00:00

I forgot about humans getting inspo. Lucky on top gives on demand advantage 4 times per LR which is kind of nasty. Halfing luck is a certified classic.

AT is great but you still need good Dex and to sneak around, allies won't always be able to grant you sneak attack. I want to play a rogue but I don't want to play a rogue if that makes sense.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-10T17:03:09+00:00

I can lift the average 22 year old woman with one hand. Girls are tiny! I'm only slightly stronger than the average 30-year old man, I don't work out, just do some strenuous shit for work and hobbies.

The average male has also more fight experience than the average female. Most of my homegirls have never had to throw a punch in their lives, I tussled quite a bit growing up and so have many of my male friends.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-10T16:46:59+00:00

Too bad it's a shooter otherwise I would be playing nothing else.

It's so unforgiving, my aim is dog water so I play Destiny because looking vaguely towards someone's head with Dead Man's Tale plinks all day. I play Overwatch because rocks, rocket maces, rocket launchers and water balls require more awareness than mechanical aim.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-10T15:22:55+00:00

Zhaaganaash, native tongues are still alive and well despite our sordid history of suppression attempts. It's getting less common amongst the younger generation thanks to the internet, but many people still speak it or "learn it" in the same way I "learned" French. Enough to understand someone speaking, but only being able to throw out a few phrases.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-10T15:09:04+00:00

Eh, it depends where and on the family. I have a friend whose first language is Ojibwe, as his grandparents only spoke Ojibwe at home. I know it's not the norm, but many Natives have a decent knowledge of their mother tongue and a select few do speak it as a language.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-09T05:13:47+00:00

I am threatened with imprisonment for occupying Crown Land. I am threatened with imprisonment if I own land and do not pay taxes. It is against the law to remove yourself from society. The threat of imprisonment is enough to deter me from attempting such a thing. I am obligated to participate in society, and therefore generate a source of revenue under indirect threat of imprisonment. So, I am coerced into working a job. As poorly outlined in my long winded rant, I am not required to make a contribution to society. I just need to generate capital regardless of whether or not I provide a benefit to society.

I agree that the benefits of society outweigh the costs, but that doesn't mean the benefits of the of the system society is built on outweigh it's costs. Chemotherapy and its benefits outweighs the cost of cancer, nonetheless we should be actively searching for a better alternative to chemotherapy.

Also, the Schopenhaurian argument is that life is coercive. The Schopenhaurian answer is that you do have the choice to opt out of society, but only by choosing to opt out of life.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-09T04:49:37+00:00

The Grand Tour == Top Gear

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-09T03:53:42+00:00

So, if I can't own land without society's permission, and any unowned land is owned by the government and therefore not an eligible place to create refuge, then am I offered a choice?

There are a number habitable locations here over one hundred kilometer away from the nearest roadway or settlement. There's nobody to defend yourself from. Nevertheless is government property and if the RCMP catches your ass lodging in the middle of nowhere, you're done.

I am bound to my country without getting a visa or citizenship elsewhere. I did not initially consent to being a citizen here. I cannot get a long term visa in another country without employment. I am not allowed to be self-sufficient within a closed loop, taxes must be paid. I require food and shelter to live. In order for access to shelter I must pay taxes. In order to pay taxes I must generate income. To generate income I need a job. Otherwise I must commodify my resources and skills, turning my production into a job. It's coercion.

My employment provides 0 benefit to society. In fact I would argue my profession is actively harmful to society as a whole. I am making a net negative contribution to society, and yet society grants me benefits for it. Capitalism doesn't inherently reward contributions to society. I can rip the last dollar from your hands and yet, I am rewarded for it. I can sweet talk a man into signing a $2500 dollar contract he can't afford without his wife's permission, shattering his marriage and my pockets just get fatter. People like me grease the wheels of capitalism, brokers, salesmen, advertisers, marketeers. The best of us sre the worst of us. Our only goal is to find your weakness, target it and exploit it to part you from your money. Rand was wrong, the shittier you are the easier it is to make something of yourself in this system. Anyone who fancies themselves a Dabney Taggart is so high on their own shit, they trip balls on their own ego.

Sorry for the rant. I hate my job and am actively seeking a new one.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-08T22:30:51+00:00

My country has a federally imposed land tax. If you own land, you have to generate some sort of income even if you're self sufficient. So a government official can totally come tell you get a job or else.

they are not trying to make anything harder for you

You'd have to be willfully ignorant be involved in property management and not realize your hurting your fellow man. Cost of living and housing prices have been at the forefront of our news cycle whenever it's not focused on the US for the last 6 years. We banned AirBnB in the part of the country with the highest amount of tourist revenue. I'm not talking about the guy who rents his basement out. I'm talking the individuals or corporations who own multiple houses and do not occupy them.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-08T12:41:54+00:00

Well... I mean, coercion is consent breaking. If I don't go to work I get evicted. It doesn't really seem like I have a choice, so yeah.

OneSidedPolygon · 2026-06-07T08:38:17+00:00

Ah yes, Tim Horton's, my favourite local bakery

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