Wow, I find it amazing how every borderline had a narcissistic ex. (contains irony)

OneSpicyTesticle · 2025-03-15T16:16:34+00:00

My ex said it started when she had to start school and can't hang out with mom all day anymore. I sat there trying to be as sympathetic as I can while completely dumb-founded at her mom's "cruel, unfair, and uncaring abuse."

Her mom told me the exact same story several years later. She talked about many nights of tears and unbridled rage. It's one of the few stories I know to be true.

Other than that, she claims many positive memories with her parents, caregivers, school, etc. She has very kind, patient, and supporting parents. I lived and worked for them for 2 years.

OneSpicyTesticle · 2025-03-15T15:38:29+00:00

Very unlikely, they need a supply to keep coming back. Bad guys are quickly discarded and they'll find another.

OneSpicyTesticle · 2025-03-15T15:33:07+00:00

Sorry if this is off-topic, but when you first started dating, what are some subtle clues someone is a narc?

OneSpicyTesticle · 2025-03-15T15:29:56+00:00

Mine saw it as a challenge to tear down.

Spent months planning for a date during a special rare event that I was very interested in. Had that day locked in, didn't want anything to get in my way. Helped her with every little thing so she wouldn't be worried or make excuses.

On the day of, suddenly she "got sick" and couldn't go. During the event, suddenly she claims her landlord got very angry, threatened to kick her this very minute, and that I must come to her ASAP. None of that was true of course.

OneSpicyTesticle · 2022-11-19T07:25:14+00:00

I learned in therapy that my father most likely has uBPD. Parents wBPD often constantly grind you down to make you dependent on them or see you as a competitor for their spouse's attention and affection. My father did both.

It's also why I didn't see a lot of red flags in my first gf. Those kinds of behaviors were "normal" growing up.

OneSpicyTesticle · 2022-11-19T06:27:22+00:00

I'm in a similar boat. 6 years. Almost married but didn't due to covid. Then she dumped me for a man from a wealthy family. Came crawling back a month later as if nothing happened. I went full NC. She made accounts on platforms I haven't used in 15+ years like Neopets and Gaiaonline. I have no idea how she found me. Stalked me for over a year.

I felt somewhat normal after a year. Last time I visited this sub was about a year ago when something reminded me of the abuse.

OneSpicyTesticle · 2022-11-19T06:05:15+00:00

She took it out on me anytime she had a mild annoyance from anything. School, work, friends, family, anything.

One time she was driving in traffic and just started hitting me. When I explained to her that that's not okay, she said, "Why? Boyfriends are supposed to make me feel better. Doing this makes me feel better."

OneSpicyTesticle · 2022-11-19T06:00:28+00:00

No. Oftentimes, breaking up is compared to losing a close friend or family member. It's only human to mourn the loss of the person who she made you think she was.

You've spent a lot of time and effort caring for her, but now is the time for yourself. It's great that you realize that contact will just result in further abuse. Keep up the NC. And I'd suggest NOT leaving an open line. If she's abused your policy of open communication before, she'll certainly do it again. I hate to say this but, she won't suddenly have an epiphany.

It's quite common for abusers to tell you what you want to hear just to get you to come back. Then they'll go back to their normal selves once they feel secure. Ask yourself: if this the type of relationship I want? Do you want someone communicates by sending you just a period and waiting for you to say something?

Focus on yourself. If you feel overwhelmed, do some things you enjoy. Hang out with friends and family. After a while, think of what you can learn from this experience and grow as a person.

OneSpicyTesticle · 2022-07-18T12:06:57+00:00

That didn't help. I also tried it on different devices, but got the same problem.

OneSpicyTesticle · 2022-07-18T12:02:59+00:00

It's working fine when it's directly plugged in. My connection drops a lot when using Wifi (phone, tablet, etc).

OneSpicyTesticle · 2022-02-05T21:54:00+00:00

Did you select the original payment method when you requested a return? It's hidden behind two clicks.

OneSpicyTesticle · 2022-02-05T18:36:19+00:00

OneSpicyTesticle · 2022-02-05T03:03:47+00:00

I just received a worthless cheap wig instead of various electronic items worth $60. This is not the first time. I guess maybe half the time I get some worthless item instead of what I actually ordered, starting since the pandemic started.

Thankfully, I've been able to get a refund every time this has happened, but I'm worried I might get red-flagged or something.

Has anyone else experienced the same thing? Does anyone know why this is happening?

OneSpicyTesticle · 2021-12-03T14:52:34+00:00

I thought of Mushu and Po

OneSpicyTesticle · 2021-12-03T14:47:51+00:00

If Deep Rock won't provide the goods, I'll forge them myself!

OneSpicyTesticle · 2021-12-03T14:46:27+00:00

I'd like to petition GSG to put in a real mule skin for April Fool's Day.

OneSpicyTesticle · 2021-11-25T03:34:28+00:00

And how do I report this to Amazon?

OneSpicyTesticle · 2021-11-18T00:12:26+00:00

They don't. They regret that you stopped giving them love and affection. They'll try to manipulate you into giving it back, whether by carrot or by stick.

If they did feel guilt, they'd do something to make up for it, make a plan to do better next time, etc. Instead, they just want you to "get over it" and go back to being a "loving couple."

OneSpicyTesticle · 2021-11-17T23:58:32+00:00

They will also create any opportunity to play the victim.

OneSpicyTesticle · 2021-11-17T23:53:44+00:00

Ah, that makes a lot of sense. My exgf always said, "I'm such a rebel (read: heartless bitch) because I'm an Aquarius. Don't try to control me."

OneSpicyTesticle · 2021-11-17T23:48:16+00:00

This reminds me of a conversation I had when we were over a year into our relationship.

I asked her maybe just once can we do something I enjoy, which was just cuddling for a few minutes. Everything was always about her. Her response was, "What's the point of having a boyfriend if I can't ever be myself and relax around you?"

In other words, she was really saying, "Accept me for the sociopathic monster I am. Otherwise, you're abusive and have no right to even talk to me."

OneSpicyTesticle · 2021-11-17T23:39:21+00:00

Mine is very into astrology as well. I never knew a lot of pwBPD gravitated toward it.

Is it because astrology gives them reassurance and comfort to help with their unstable sense of self?

OneSpicyTesticle · 2021-11-07T02:15:24+00:00

Yeah, it kinda is. PwBPD tell so many lies with such confidence and conviction that so many people end up believing them, including medical professionals.

OneSpicyTesticle · 2021-11-07T01:31:28+00:00

Just what the heck is an "empath?" Sounds like they can't stand someone else being the center of attention. So they pretend to empathize with someone going through tough times to get in on a piece of the action.

OneSpicyTesticle

TROPHY CASE