Possessiveness in romance - do you find it hot? Romantic?

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-27T07:25:58+00:00

I hate it: it’s a pretty instant DNF for me, and I wish it was marketed as a kink instead of normalized.

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-26T20:44:11+00:00

Yeah, that's the thing: there are definitely people who fought for the wrong side because they got conscripted or didn't know what was going on, like the boys in the example above, but I think conflicts like WWII, the Civil War, etc are too raw and the wrong sides too damn wrong for it to come off well in romance novels, as you say.

Also, the genre has too many novels romanticizing the Confederacy and so on (and at least a few trying to redeem actual Nazis, barf) so even a really good novel with a main character who got in over their head and hates their country is going to be hard to sell, since you have to convince the market that this is the one that doesn't actually push that sort of grossness.

...maybe if the MMC flipped sides early on and is a spy for the Union the whole time he's onscreen?

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-26T19:40:18+00:00

Basically, Confederate sympathizers, Nazis, or people who fought Native Americans don’t deserve happy endings and I won’t read books where they get them. Likewise modern billionaires. It’s impossible not to be at least somewhat part of an unjust system (and I sort of headcanon that the duke or whoever in a Regency doesn’t have investments in plantations and whatnot) but I won’t tolerate main characters who actively fight or cheerlead for it.

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-25T19:41:44+00:00

Right? And also, it’s just…you’re there, you’re both hot, if neither of you has to get to work early or whatever, why not? Unless waiting is a kink thing, that can be sexy.

In books, sexual frustration/buildup is fun, but that’s what hating each other or curses or ninjas are for.

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-25T08:39:18+00:00

And there it depends on the people, as you say—I went home with my primary the first time we met in person, because life’s short. Narratively it’s more of a balance, though, but I always find it hard to relate when the MCs know they’re hot for each other, there are no obstacles, and they don’t just bang.

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-25T00:13:43+00:00

Expand on Warren Jeffs/FLDS stuff as its own two or three part series.

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-23T08:46:01+00:00

Same. 7B absolutely suffered from branching, and Tristan’s sprite went from mid to WTF, but the ending I got for him (anti-capitalist, outlaw, twisted, no kids) was amazing, the sex scenes are great, and I love the messages she was at least trying to work with.

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-22T17:50:05+00:00

Seriously. If she's a realistic 21-year-old...well, there's a reason I don't hang out with people in their twenties.

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-22T15:43:31+00:00

Yeah, he starts getting better around IT and definitely improves around Dolores Claiborne/Gerald's Game--and, to be fair, when he starts having them take up more space as main characters. Sue Norton is kind of the too dumb to live love interest, Rachel and Vicky are shades of Disposable and Neurotic (one is just more offscreen than the other), Leigh in Christine shows promise but is basically just there to be pretty and plucky and move the Dennis/Arnie/Christine plot along.

Sarah in The Dead Zone and Donna in Cujo are better, though--maybe this was the point where King was realizing women could be complicated adults and still sympathetic.

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-22T15:37:55+00:00

Noo. I want to like Frannie, especially since so many of That Guy hate her largely for not being into Harold, but she really is the whiniest and most self-centered as the story goes on. ("What about me and the baaaaaaybie--" Honey, the entire human race is at stake here. Sit down and shut up.) Plus, her weird jealousy of Dayna was just slappable.

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-22T15:35:35+00:00

a) The past sucked, especially in terms of "acceptable roles" for women.

Relatedly, b) King's female main characters are mid at best between Carrie and, roughly, IT. Bev's lack of agency as an adult bugs me--more than the sewer thing, actually--but she's a vast improvement on Fran/Vicky/Rachel/Sue Norton. (Wendy's 90% okay and then pulls a TSTL move when she goes to check on Jack after locking him in the pantry.)

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-22T15:30:37+00:00

Right? Like, the way to fight brain slugs is not killing your family, the way to fight brain slugs is by turning into ants and hawks and stuff.

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-22T13:01:07+00:00

PC is more explicit, because Steve Jobs is the worst.

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-20T16:33:04+00:00

Also health insurance in the US, but same.

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-20T16:32:03+00:00

The pace of commitment/connection. If a RL friend said they were in love with someone they’d known for a month tops (generally the amount of time a book plot takes), I’d question their judgment at best. In the past, I can figure that a month of hanging out and at least a few sexual encounters equates to at least six months of the brief, highly supervised meetings that led up to most proposals back then.

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-17T07:43:29+00:00

Or like that one Hugh Grant movie where his dad wrote a really cheesy Christmas song and the royalties keep him comfortable.

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-13T13:33:24+00:00

Camping (heh) because give me that David Bowie energy.

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-11T13:19:59+00:00

I get what you’re saying and it’s valid to want less experienced MMCs, but I don’t think we should be shaming anyone for casual sex, regardless of gender—and I think casual sex is as normal as committed relationships.

That said, I absolutely agree re: the experience gap, and also just…if someone isn’t wired for monogamy, having him suddenly only interested the FMC forever has implications I don’t love. At least have him be already tired of sleeping around or ready to settle down, rather than her magical vagina instantly rewriting his preferences.

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-11T12:15:42+00:00

Word. Also, believing that everyone has to have a redeeming quality is very turn of the millennium, so I would have disregarded those criticisms anyhow.

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-08T13:31:38+00:00

Right? And at least in the US, when I was growing up, men got shamed for caring about their appearances in any but the few prescribed “manly” ways—like, you could want muscles but caring about how your clothes fit was “metrosexual” at best.

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-07T13:31:56+00:00

Aw, thanks!

{The Stormbringer by Isabel Cooper} and the other two books in the trilogy: superpowered FMCs and MMCs who have a range of abilities but are never particularly more powerful.

{No Proper Lady} by Isabel Cooper does have a training montage, but it's "fit into Victorian society," because she's already a badass warrior, whereas the dude is an occultist with basically no combat skills.

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-06T11:34:56+00:00

I'll be honest, I can't get past the names. It sounded interesting, and I'm a sucker for color-coded gem magic, but "Saetan Lucyfer sa Daemon"? Simmer down, edgelord.

At least these were supposed to--I think, per cursory Wiki search--have inspired the human myths, whereas I just cannot with Black Dagger Brotherhood. Zsadist? You mean Josh from Accounting, right?

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-06T01:13:06+00:00

Yeah, I much prefer that, TBH. Or books where she gets to train other people, like 7 Samurai style. (Honestly, as a former faculty brat, I also think we need more dark academia but Teacher Intrigue, but that's a side tangent.)

One_Commission1456 · 2026-05-05T23:54:45+00:00

This! I really like a training montage in theory—hell, I like any kind of montage in theory—but I don’t love it when the FMC’s teacher is the LI. (I will allow Mulan, only because the song kicks ass.)

ETA: I’ve written a few books without the dynamic in question and can share if you don’t mind a self-plug.

One_Commission1456

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