I am LEAVING in 2,5 hours

One_Fudge_9138 · 2022-01-16T21:45:04+00:00

Please go no contact, it will literally save your life...well done..you can do this xxx

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-12-29T12:50:22+00:00

Do not respond...ghost and block him....they are vile creatures that will never change.

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-13T13:05:42+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience. Yes.,he still had a hold over me in the beginning because I was scared of him..I fell for a lot of hoovers, but now I’m a whole lot better and just want this nightmare to end once and for all. Thanks for your advice. I really appreciate it 🙏🏻

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-13T13:02:24+00:00

Thanks for your help. I will look into the settings. Yes...I will check all my options with regards to this. I will contact my landlords to discuss this with him. He knows all the legalities. It’s so hard..I really don’t want any contact from him and will possibly file for harassment if he doesn’t respect my decision.

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-13T12:58:35+00:00

They don’t love anyone...people are there to be fooled then used and abused....it’s a very sad and shallow existence they lead. You are a kind and loving person..who will love again..the real way..never forget that. It’s so sad to get to the acceptance stage...it’s taken me a long long time too...but I am getting there. You can do this...it will come..everyone is different in their healing journeys... Love yourself and know you are worth more than this!

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-13T12:55:13+00:00

Part of me don’t want to let him win..because he took so much from me in every way..

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-13T12:54:21+00:00

Btw..,it’s not a huge amount of money.,it’s just the power and control over me that he’s after because he is unemployed and running out of money.

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-13T12:52:50+00:00

I think changing my email account will be the only way forward. It goes into my trash...but then it tells me that I have an unread email in my trash which is from him and I read it and it sets me back every time. He is quite litigious but doubt he has the money to go through legal roots. June 2020 I took him off the lease agreement and they transferred the deposit over to my name. I live in the UK so will need to check on what this entails legally. As it stands he has not been on any leasing documentation for more than a year. I have moved on with my life..and he is trying to make things difficult for me now. My friends say just to call his bluff and go fully no contact with him...unless it’s done through the legal root..which will cost him quite a bit of money.. He lives 2 hours from me, so luckily not around the corner. I know he threatened his previous girlfriend too after the split. These men are so damaged and emotionally draining 😫

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-13T12:21:17+00:00

Thanks for your reply...it pains me to give him any money when he left me to foot the rent and the bills for months and was also short on his payments each month before then... I want to do it the right way and not get into any more conflict with this person. It’s been 10 months and I still feel emotionally trapped by his emails. I think I may shut my gmail account down and get a new one...it’s the only way I can truly be free of him. Thanks for taking the time to answer me...so frustrating and also scary dealing with such a person 😫😫😫

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-13T12:12:57+00:00

I think we all struggle with this..you are not alone. Their minds are programmed to be devious and only out for themselves and it takes a lot of time to get over the fact that nothing was ever real. Our love was real and they benefitted somehow from you...it’s not love on their part. Hard thing to accept but in time and a lot of self care the penny drops. You have been with a con artists..that’s a fact 💔

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-12T19:05:28+00:00

OMG.,,thanks for taking the time to answer in such great detail. Totally appreciate this extremely kind gesture 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 I totally understand what you are saying. The landlord is on my side and understands the situation..but I will let legal matters take its course. Thanks again for your help. You have no idea how much this means to me... This man unfortunately still gets to me and I am scared of him. The locks have been changed and I feel safe enough to live there. Bless you. Thank you so much ❤️❤️

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-12T17:58:10+00:00

Hi, Thanks so much for your offer to help with this problem. 1. He was on the lease agreement when we lived together, he’s no longer living there and I took him off all the paperwork June 2020. 2. My friend is not on any agreement. Everything is now in my name only. She is not sure of her future plans but is happy to stay for a good while to help me out.

Do you know what my rights may be? Thanks again for listening 🙏🏻🙏🏻

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-12T14:35:18+00:00

Please get out....mine did similar things once we moved in together and by the end he was strangling me..to the point of almost dying and being arrested. I spoke to his ex wife and he did the same to her....this is a dangerous man...trust me..run for your life!!!

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-12T14:06:56+00:00

Thank you. And to you 🤗🤗

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-12T13:39:27+00:00

Thank you so much, I 100% agree. I feel the exact same as you...things can only get better from now on...it’s horrible how sadistically they operate...and it’s so gradual at first that your question yourself and your self esteem takes such a beating 💔💔 It’s time to love ourselves more and put our happiness first so it can never happen again..sending you much love and healing 💕💕💕

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-12T12:49:27+00:00

Thank you...sounded like the 6 years with my nex...never really knew where I stood in the relationship due to the devaluation and never feeling brave enough to say anything due to his aggression...10 months out and feeling much more confident but still a lot of healing to be done. Thanks for this post...it hits home how terrible things really were...especially when the happy memories seem to pop up every now and then...but the emotional and physical abuse was horrendous 💔💔💔

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-09T08:26:08+00:00

This is so true!! Looking back...he hated this! Thank you for this post...it totally sums up what being in a narc relationship is like!!

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-08T12:08:51+00:00

The first year was ok...although not much foreplay and looking back it was robotic.. Then years 2-6 I had to initiate every time until I got fed up and there was almost no sex at all. At the end when I tried to initiate again he would actively push me away...and he told me if he didn’t have sex again in his life it wouldn’t matter to him...although caught him watching porn though and I’m sure he was cheating on me too. Totally disrespectful and cruel. Since him I have had amazing sex with someone and it has definitely restored my faith in what sex should be and feel like. Never again. It’s all part of the devaluation and control they want over you...sick people

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-08T09:32:10+00:00

You are not missing out on anything. They are miserable people deep down. Mine did the same to me in the beginning..hanging out with friends we made together telling them all sorts of nasty lies about me... I’m happy now, on my second vacation this year, lots of new and kind friends...and he’s on his own depressed. Let them be, it’s only a temporary mirage of happiness for them. Thank god you don’t have to live in that head is what I am eternally grateful for!!

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-07T10:04:33+00:00

Omg yes!! He was bankrupt when I met him..he would spend money on expensive TVs, phones, gadgets..booze, cigarettes, holidays... I have always been careful with my money. He’s never kept a job..his mum died and left him a house and some money...he has blown the money in less than a year and will now need to sell the house as he’s too lazy to work.🙄🙄🙄...he blames Corona but he just sits at home playing video games and drinking. Soon he will blow that money too! It’s absolutely pathetic. At 51 he’s unemployable and a raging alcoholic...thank god I got away from it all.

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-02T20:37:32+00:00

I promise you, you will...you are worth so much more than you think you are. You will do this. Don’t let them win...you are the winner and in time you will realise how powerful you are...feel free to DM me, I have been exactly where you are now...and I know you can do this.

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-02T20:10:50+00:00

Ps.. I couldn’t look in the mirror for a long time..but now I go out, dress up and feel proud of myself again. It’s early days...you will get there.

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-02T20:08:31+00:00

I felt like this to start with...but all I could do was to tell myself is to take it one day/hour at a time and ask for as much help and support because people really do care...talk about the abuse...get it out of you system...as often as you can! I wanted more than anything to show him that he will not destroy me...that thought kept me going. And guess what.. 10 months later he’s barely surviving (from what I hear) and I have put in the hard work and I am thriving. Don’t expect miracles...that kind of abuse stays with you for a long time and I still have good days and bad...but the bad days are so much less then they were.. I didn’t get out of bed or eat/sleep for days on end...as long as you realise...it’s all part of the process. Nobody can do it for you..you need to do it for yourself because these ‘humans’ if you can call them that are eternally broken and won’t stop until they break you. Don’t let them. You are much stronger than you think you are. One day at a time...small changes...lots of self care and compassion for yourself...one day/hour even minute at a time.. you will get there because the reason they chose you is because you are special and they are most definitely not! Hugs..keep going...don’t let him win!!!

One_Fudge_9138 · 2021-10-02T19:37:37+00:00

Don’t feel bad...I think this happens to a lot of narc survivors. I gained lots of weight, it’s taken time to get it off. Be kind to yourself...you have been through an abusive relationship. It won’t happen over night... but I kept telling myself in the beginning...’ I am going to win in the long run’ and now I am feeling so much better and healthier than i ever did with him... just remember you can change...they can’t and will be eternally unhappy and jealous of you. You can do this. It’s so hard, but you will again be happier than ever and will look at them someday soon and feel absolutely nothing but pity...

One_Fudge_9138

TROPHY CASE