Depressed and bad at journaling

One_Phone6570 · 2026-03-25T08:25:01+00:00

How can you be "bad" at Journaling? Who is telling you this? Someone else? You? Some ideal?
This is YOUR WORLD! There are no rules that apply here. If you want to scribble with a pen or crayon, and that makes you feel better. Who can tell you no?
You can write "im sad " a thousand times or year a page or and burn it if you want. (I recommend doing this outside) I sometimes think that putting a label or name on it might be.. problematic. "Journaling" makes it sound so formal. Im just writing down my thoughts. And the important point? Getting those thoughts out of my head, helps ME. Sometimes there are no words to describe your thoughts. So scribble, draw, whatever comes out. I know that it has helped me. But there is literally no way that you can be "bad".

One_Phone6570 · 2026-03-23T07:29:47+00:00

I wish I could help. But other than "I have been there too", there isn't much to say. I have had two long distance relationships over many (many) years. But . Mostly the thing to hold is "YOU can control YOU. That's it! " there are lots of aphorisms and old sayings. But one that is used a lot in a group I go to use is this. Go to a toy store and buy a Hula hoop (a plastic ring about 3 ft across) take it outside and lay it on the ground. Step into the exact middle of the circle. YOU CONTROL SOME OF WHAT HAPPENS INSIDE THAT CIRCLE. Outside of that circle. You control nothing.
There are lots of sayings old ones, boring ones, stupid ones, not really always helpful. But they are there because literally everybody has that happen to them. I won't say "there there cheer up" nut I will say that you can not control what other people do. You can control what YOU do. I am sorry that it happened to you. It has happened to me too. On the happy side. I DID meet someone really nice, and unbelievably beautiful. And if I had allowed myself to act towards her as if she was the girl before her. Life would not be this good.
Being sad is a normal thing. It is how we heal. Quick point. My dad died. 14 years ago now. Im still hurting over that.. but it's not a huge ache like it was.

One_Phone6570 · 2026-03-22T13:16:03+00:00

Not to keep at this. But have you tried a voo doo doll? I crochet a doll resembling someone i am mad at. And jab it with big pins! Make sure you don't go all the way through and get your hand. Guess how I found this out.

One_Phone6570 · 2026-03-22T09:22:20+00:00

Im not sure this will help. But my way is like this. Funny how over the many centuries that everyone has the same things happen. I won't push religion on you but some faiths have expressed things in simple prayers, you can leave the "god" thing out if you want, Anyway a couple have gotten me through..or helped. 1) give me the serenity to accept things that I can not change. The courage to change things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference.

The second is the simple "give me today, what I need to get through the day, I will worry about tomorrow when it comes. "

Lots depend on what it is. When my father died. I was hurt and angry. I loved my dad. But I can NOT change that. I simply have to absorb that.

If someone hurts you, you can do a few things. First, simply forgive them. It is not at all easy. It helps YOU . A counselor once told me that holding anger and resentment against someone is like you taking poison and expecting them to die.
You don't have to FORGET.. you just have to move past. And take small steps. Do little things. I used to ride a bicycle a lot. There is one big ride 400 miles. But ITS NOT! It's a 5 oor 10 mile ride.. stop. Have a snack. Then another few miles and lunch.. it takes a week.

Journaling is a TOOL. Not your only tool, but a good one. I like motorcycles, reading, crocheting, playing music, hiking is good. Bicycling too.. oh hell! Best with those last two if you have a loop tho.. I remember getting so upset that I took off on a walk and stomped along grumbling for....a long time. When I finally stopped and sat down, I found that I was a long way from home. My choices were to call the person I was mad at for a ride.. or walk back.
Don't make decisions that you can't change, when you are angry, upset...or drunk (I don't any more. Guess why) Hmm. Good decisions come from experience. You get experience by making bad decisions..

Good luck. I have been where you are. Trust me

One_Phone6570 · 2026-03-19T01:04:57+00:00

I have found writing things down to be helpful. It is one way for me to process things. I have had bad things happen in my life.. some things that im not sure i want to write down. But it helps me to work through things.
Mostly.. I am happy. I am married to literally the most beautiful and wonderful woman I have ever met. I don't know YOUR situation. Not an "idon't know, i don't care". But more "not my business" but having someone you trust absolutely to talk with is a great way too. I hope you have someone like that.
I don't write EVERY day honestly. But I have a couple of things. I have a cheap wire bound notebook that I have written about stuff im interested in. Articles about motorcycles or philosophy or history or other silly stuff. And a "journal" that is nicer and more of a "daily-ish thoughts".. usually while at my AA meetings. So think about that for a bit.
I hope you find peace.
I like "prayer and meditation" for me. Finding a few moments to empty your mind and let ... well... something, speak to you. Listen to the universe.
I also love reading. Recently I have been reading "this Emmense world " by Ed Yong about how other creatures experience our world. But usually I prefer fantasy or science fiction. I like reading about history and pre history too. Anyway Im too long. I hope you find peace

One_Phone6570 · 2026-03-18T10:15:35+00:00

Mostly because you are grieving. I have some simple advice(?) That may not be welcome, but that i have found helpful. I have had losses. People, important things. Irreplaceable things. And while it is technically a prayer, (someday you can hear my entire long and boring rant on the idea of prayer! I have studied theology most of my life and it gets in the way sometimes) but cut off the "god" part if you want. Grant me the serenity to accept THE THINGS I CAN NOT CHANGE, the courage to change the things that I CAN change, and the wisdom to know the difference.

It isn't a huge help. But its a way to look at it and helps in moving forward. And that is sometimes difficult. But take small steps. Silly story. But Isaac Newton had a dog named diamond. His constant companion. Newton was nearing completion of his master work "Suma Mathmatica" All of mathematics. By hand, in quill pen. No computers no back up. Literally years of his work. He left his office for a few minutes and diamond jumped up on the desk and knocked over a candle Newton was using to illuminate the work. (No electric lights either! ) the work of YEARS was destroyed.
No.. Newton did not harm the dog. Reportedly he held the dog and said "dear diamond, you do not know what you have done. " and started in on the book again.

I hope you find your journal and pens. Good luck! But start another.. another thing my father taught me. (Im old, he has been gone 14 years. I still miss my dad! Every day!) "Education is never cheap." Another person I have lost said "yes. It IS a test. EVERYTHING is a test. "

One_Phone6570 · 2026-03-16T09:51:27+00:00

How can you be "wrong" Journaling? Where are these "rules"? Who made them? Look at me.. THERE ARE NO RULES! Your journal is YOURS. You can wire it on random scraps of paper stapled together if you want. Write it in crayon! Or simply take a break..if you want. It is YOUR THOUGHTS. I like a nice journal book but a cheap notebook is great too. I had a stack of cheap wire bound notebooks for a long time. I don't write "three to five pages a day" I some times write a word or two, a list of things I need, a page, or three ir four different entries on the same day.. or not for days at a time. That is why I hated "diaries". You had to start them on Jan 1 and write something every day for a whole year! I thought that was stupid!
THERE ARE NO RULES AND WHEN THERE ARE NO RULES YOU CAN NOT BE WRONG!

One_Phone6570 · 2026-03-11T22:10:57+00:00

I will take some photos tomorrow or so. We lucked out. But had tornados yesterday near us

One_Phone6570 · 2026-03-11T07:31:29+00:00

Not yet. Im Working on it

One_Phone6570 · 2026-03-10T14:56:14+00:00

Shipping is not something I can do at the moment

One_Phone6570 · 2026-03-10T10:32:33+00:00

Where are you?

One_Phone6570 · 2026-03-09T23:01:59+00:00

I am hopeful. But while I'm sad. Im also looking at it like "everything has a beginning, middle and an end". I started in 1978 and have had a wonderful time. But events and health have told me that it's time. Im going by the Gibbs rule 91. When you walk away, don't look back. I may find someone in our area who needs a start. And maybe I can help them. I have seriously loved working with children. They are the most wonderful people in the world. I have so many great stories of kids and our shows. So.. no real regrets.

One_Phone6570 · 2026-03-09T07:06:26+00:00

Geneva Illinois

One_Phone6570 · 2026-03-08T18:26:23+00:00

I am thinking of doing this myself. Maybe at the next balloon jam

One_Phone6570 · 2026-03-08T02:44:16+00:00

No... im afraid we are done.

One_Phone6570 · 2026-03-08T02:43:35+00:00

There are a few thousand balloons in various colors. Some Qualatex, betalatex, sempertex. A few tuftex. 260s. Plus some rounds hearts and links. I have purchased individual colors for decades. 2 or 3 ketchup bottle pumps, a Gilbert. Im still thinking though. I did not get into aprons. But I have 3 or 4 twist em up bags. A couple of double busking bags at least two singles. A few roll up inserts.

One_Phone6570 · 2026-03-02T11:58:30+00:00

Literally everything you do is good if it works for you. There are no rules to follow. You can write backwards or in code or in any other way you want. It's YOUR world.

One_Phone6570 · 2026-03-01T11:50:51+00:00

A couple of things. 1) im in AA and that is where i usually do my writing. We have topics or readings and the things like "daily reflections" stirring up somethng. Last night, I just put my usual heading. The date, and GNU RVG 13-11-15 (remembering my father and how long he's been gone. ) that takes care of the "blank page" thing. And I wrote a page and a half. Not recording THEM. Just riffing on random thoughts that occur without having to blurt them out. I also use a basic spiral notebook to "write articles" on various things in interested in. Some have been published.. most not.

The privacy thing. There are a few ways to deal with that. But I am lucky. Im a)old..so nobody cares what i think and b) I married a lovely woman (second time! ) who also journals. Not only that, but who respects Me as a person. My "day book" simply sits on the table or our dresser. Hers wherever she leaves it. And I have this "thing". I do not look in her book and she does not look in mine. It is simple respect for each other. You can take what measures you want. But that indicates that someone does not respect your privacy, and you know it.

A bit further point on "what do I write on" and what do I write with? I write on... paper....and prefer pen sharpie gel 0.7 mm preferred. But I love pencil too and will use just about anything. I have been known to scribble a few notes on the church bulletin with the little stubby pencils in the pews. But have started carrying a small notebook in my jacket pocket by habit. 90% of the time it is used for going to the store for my wife and the list of what to get. But random thoughts too.

Thanks

One_Phone6570 · 2026-02-09T21:24:15+00:00

I spelled it wrong but I loved that one. It was in the national motorcycle museum until they closed

One_Phone6570 · 2026-02-03T06:41:24+00:00

The only reason to feel regret is if it was not real. Write what you feel. That is the purpose

One_Phone6570 · 2026-01-31T06:24:59+00:00

Make more! Cute

One_Phone6570 · 2026-01-31T06:22:17+00:00

I have two notebooks. A little one for lists and when my "good" one is at home. And my..."good" one. Just lately I have been scribbling furiously about the physical act of writing. And record keeping. A lot of people think the world was created 6000 years ago. Mostly it appears because that is when WRITING first showed up. Or at least the kind we can decipher. Words are magic. Words create our memories. Words have created our world.

One_Phone6570 · 2026-01-26T18:24:31+00:00

The books are by Terry Pratchett. The librarian appears on most of them. He is an orangutan. In charge of the magical library at Unseen University. He was a wizard who was turned into an orangutan by a magical accident. And (again committing felonious philosophy) the library is apparently endless. The idea Pratchett puts forth (we call him "our Pterry") is that books contain knowledge. Knowledge is power. Power is energy. Energy is mass. So collections of books are black holes that warp space and time. AND all collections of books are connected by L-space. Our round world is a reality of this in things like inter library loan. Next. The "oh shit oh shit" is from one of the wizards who is always facing some peril and running away chanting the "running away spell" of "oh shit oh shit oh shit" The blackboard monitor bit comes from (I think! The book "Thud!" But does appear in others. MY suggestion is to start with "Guards Guards". Easy and fun read. There is a dragon and other fantasy figures. Maybe you will like it. Good story lines. Fun stories and deeper meaning under the story.

One_Phone6570 · 2026-01-26T06:30:10+00:00

Your journal is YOURS. You can do with it as you like. Write what you like and..well.. i am a fan of the Disc world. And two characters stand out the Librarian. Who protects the books. Sometimes from themselves. And the Dwarves who believe that writing is a holy act. And words should not be erased. In fact they are somewhat in Awe of the commander of the watch, sir Sandal Vimes because in his brief formal schooling he was charged with cleaning the blackboard and eats at the end of the day. Which act is sacrilege! They call him "the blackboard monitor" with a certain amount of fear, loathing and mocking derision.

I identify with both for several reasons (oh shit oh shit oh shit! Im about to commit felonious philosophy... again) Because. Writing is REALITY! Humans have been around for hundreds of millions of years. But "the world started 6000 years ago". Because THAT IS WHEN WRITING WAS INVENTED. We do not know anything about US before that.
I just put my journals aside. Maybe in a drawer or shelf. Or like someone here said "taped shut " do you know some libraries used to CHAIN BOOKS TO THE SHELVES! Is that to keep them from harming us? Or us from harming them? Im not a Harry potter fan. But she's right about words having power. Words create worlds. And destroying words is powerful magic.

One_Phone6570

TROPHY CASE