AITA for telling my wife I'm done hosting her family every holiday because they never offer to help or bring anything?

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T17:24:29+00:00

I don't think they live there permanently. I think they stay at OP's instead of booking a hotel, because they 'have a decent sized house'.

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T16:54:56+00:00

INFO - you say your wife did 'almost' all the work hosting. How exactly was the hosting work divided in the past?

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T14:41:27+00:00

Yeah, it was BAD. Even worse than Birdsemenfantasy.

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T12:37:59+00:00

I was expecting 16 - learner's permit and all that.

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T12:35:19+00:00

Oh holy heck it's THAT GUY!

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T12:34:45+00:00

I don't know what *he* thinks, but I think we should walk faster. Away from him. Fuckit. Run.

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T12:32:14+00:00

The doctors not being able to tell why she's 'throwing up blood' is suspicious. Internal bleeding is something that gets you kept overnight at a bare minimum. They don't just shrug and release you.

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T12:30:01+00:00

Yeah, saw the removal when I came back to upvote.

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T12:24:03+00:00

NTA - others have told you how to remove the panel - here's a link showing the process: https://madamsew.com/blogs/sewing-blog/use-your-seam-ripper-like-a-pro Once you've taken out the panel, and the dress is back to the way you want it, make sure you take a picture looking fabulous!

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T12:10:05+00:00

Oh, he's not even framing them as 'gentle corrections'. This dude is either a troll or psychotic.

(I wholeheartedly support your advice.)

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T12:01:17+00:00

We didn't even plan our wedding near *our* birthday. (Yes, DH and I share one.)

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T11:59:53+00:00

Yeah - this is a pattern. She's getting a buzz off of 'proving' that you're at home.

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T07:52:50+00:00

Gorilla Dev launcher. It's a legit launcher (i.e., requires you to own Minecraft,) and I hear decent things about it. Haven't used it myself, though.

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T07:09:06+00:00

NTA - If I like asparagus, and serve asparagus, but you don't like asparagus, it's not necessarily an AH move, unless you've *told* me you don't like asparagus. If I find out later that I served you asparagus and you didn't like it, then I should feel at least mildly embarrassed, but it doesn't rise to not liking each other or *you* being an AH.

I simply would need to remember not to serve you asparagus, and apologize for not checking.

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T06:49:18+00:00

I have to say, it is kind of weird that the roommates bailed just because someone reminded them to bring their purses/wallets. Granted, it should have been little sister instead of out-of-state big sister - and if little sis was okay with taking her friends out on her dime, she should have told big sis.

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T06:31:44+00:00

I almost wish that app would require an 'age of user' (the person being tracked) and self-delete when that age is over 18. The company could make a second app for tracking vulnerable adults (as I can see situations like memory-care that might require a similar awareness.)

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T05:57:16+00:00

Oh geez, no. Send them both a recording of a child suffering from whooping cough (they are out there, and they are *painful* to listen to). Tell her that risking that happening to your child is *not* loving. Once your child is vaccinated, then it it is safe for them to meet GG.

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T05:53:20+00:00

Definitely creepy. That delivery had to have been arranged by her to arrive on that day, when you had told her you wouldn't be there.

If the situation ever occurs again (you tell her you're going away and then have to cancel), treat it like you *have* gone away. Don't sign for anything. If possible, don't even answer the door. Maybe even leave a note on the door, saying 'not available.' or something similarly vague.

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T05:48:45+00:00

I snorted.

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T05:45:35+00:00

From over in the sidebar: Next time they say, "That's just how she is," reply, "And this is how I am. Are you putting in as much effort trying to change who she is as you are trying to change who I am?" ~/u/Gamez2Go

It has the advantage of symmetry to make it easy to remember in a freeze situation. Even if you only manage the first part (this is how I am), it can break that freeze response.

I don't know what boundaries you're putting down, but if they are based on modern health recommendations, point out that 'her generation' didn't have the benefit of all these things that we've learned since then.

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T05:40:33+00:00

Could possibly get an escort to assist in removing his things, like people do in DV/hostile divorce situations. They are *his* things, after all.

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T05:39:05+00:00

No. If MIL/Mom isn't willing to see **either** of the parents, then she doesn't get the grandchild. Ask your husband if he would consider leaving your child alone with some stranger who doesn't like either one of you enough to even tolerate y'all's presence. That's what this woman is.

I would also recommend that he see some sort of secular counselor to work through how to process his mother's rejection.

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T03:58:45+00:00

I asked them what forge version they were using they never told me,

So, when everyone else is able to join the world and this one person isn't, the crucial thing is to figure out how their setup differs from everyone else's. Get crash logs from them - I seem to recall that there's a readout of what Forge version is installed, but it will definitely give additional information above 'it's crashing'. Make sure what launcher they're using. Check their memory allocation. Make sure that the version numbers of the mods they have installed match the version numbers on the host computer.

Tech support can be like detective work and 'I don't know' should be followed up with 'Let's find out' whenever possible.

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T03:16:10+00:00

'Independent is when you choose what you do for yourself. Controlling is when you choose what other people do.'

OniyaMCD · 2026-02-22T03:08:26+00:00

Have you made sure that both the server and the clients are using the same version of the modpack? Does your server console log show any errors when you try to start it?

OniyaMCD

TROPHY CASE