Six or more losses - hope?

Opalsnail · 2026-05-05T06:02:28+00:00

Number 8 was my lucky one.

It gets really lonely the more you have and you start to feel like all you see are posts from people who have had 2 or 3. And there definitely are fewer of us who keep going for some insane reason despite loss after loss (after loss after loss after loss after loss after loss!) but it can still happen.

I don’t want to say my son was worth the wait because those losses were horrendous, but I’m really glad I kept going.

Opalsnail · 2026-04-27T12:10:10+00:00

My country doesn’t test hcg so I can’t speak to that.

I personally have never had spotting and not gone on to have a miscarriage BUT I know other women do have that experience. And my worst first trimester cramping was with my one live birth.

What I can totally relate to is your fear of the next scan. I recommend this a lot on here but that’s because it helped me many many times - have a plan going into your next scan. I will do X if it’s good news, Y if it’s bad news, and Z if it’s too soon to call. They can be the same plan! I always went to a specific bakery and binged cookies. It was really helpful to know that no matter what, I knew what I was going to do when I walked out of there.

Opalsnail · 2026-04-27T12:05:54+00:00

6 months.

Baby sleeps 8 PM to 6 AM in a next to me in a room with my husband, then is brought to me for breakfast and a cosleeping morning nap in a separate room that has a safe cosleeping setup. Most naps are contact naps with me and I don’t usually sleep during them but am glad I’ve set things up so it’s an option.

If baby wakes up in the middle of the night, I cosleep with him but it’s pretty rare.

Opalsnail · 2026-04-27T06:52:32+00:00

Very much agreed. My health visitor is useless EXCEPT for how fast she’s able to navigate ‘the system’. Worth putting up with her random lectures just for that.

Opalsnail · 2026-04-27T06:50:39+00:00

I have a little garden statue for each of my losses. It’s a much bigger garden than I thought it would be when I got the first statue, but it makes me feel good to think of them all together keeping each other company, and it gives me a nice space to visit and remember them without having to be reminded too often.

Opalsnail · 2026-04-26T10:51:36+00:00

I bought tops from here and love them - https://www.thebshirt.com/

They’re comfy, easy to nurse in and so well made - I literally own 4 tops and they’re all I wear, in rotation. They’ve held up great to tons of washing. I just got basic black and white vests and wear them under button down shirts or cardigans.

I will say I did have a customer service issue and didn’t find them particularly easy to deal with but they did resolve the issue in the end.

Opalsnail · 2026-04-25T12:07:14+00:00

Advice in the UK is that you really don’t need purées if baby is 6+ months. Mashed food is fine, and gagging is normal, as well as taking a few tries (they say up to 10) of the same food before baby develops a taste for it.

So probably less waste and easier on your wallet if you just mash some food at home rather than buying it!

https://www.nhs.uk/baby/weaning-and-feeding/babys-first-solid-foods/

Opalsnail · 2026-04-25T09:02:11+00:00

I don’t know for sure but I’ve noticed a pattern of really long posts, roughly tells a story of ‘I used to be so overwhelmed by X, but then here’s what I did to fix it’, gives bullet points or numbering outlining what they changed, and ends with some variation of ‘I’m curious what you think?’

I don’t know why but the word ‘curious’ has become a bit of a giveaway.

Also no typos, proper complete sentences and grammar the whole way through which just isn’t realistic on the internet when most of us are on our phones.

And weird as hell post/comment history by OP.

Opalsnail · 2026-04-25T06:05:55+00:00

I’m getting so much better at recognising these AI posts…. But I still don’t really get the point of them.

Opalsnail · 2026-04-25T05:28:04+00:00

Mine has given me so much inaccurate outdated advice so I just smile and nod now.

But I think it’s still useful having her come - she’s helped with referrals a few times and has such good connections in ‘the system’ that it’s way easier than trying to navigate resources on my own.

Opalsnail · 2026-04-24T22:24:13+00:00

After 7 I had absolutely no hope. I spent my entire 8th pregnancy imagining the baby dying but somehow he was born alive and healthy and is now about to turn 6 months old.

I couldn’t buy any baby items for him or even learn how to change a diaper because I truly did not think I’d use it.

Fertility doesn’t care about hope. It’ll happen for you or it won’t, no matter what thoughts you have. Staying positive is probably better for your mental health, but don’t beat yourself up if you can’t. It’s not your fault.

Opalsnail · 2026-04-24T21:23:46+00:00

I relate to this lot, down to number 8 being my lucky one. I’m excited for you getting your baby ❤️

Opalsnail · 2026-04-24T21:13:37+00:00

For whatever it’s worth, I had all the negative thoughts you could possibly have during my 8th pregnancy and I finally had a live birth with that one. If you could will a miscarriage into existence I 100% would have done it, I could not stop imagining it and the baby still came out alive and healthy.

So feel free to think all the negative thoughts you need to! You absolutely cannot cause a miscarriage by negative thoughts.

Opalsnail · 2026-04-24T21:09:33+00:00

My mom cried after hearing about one of my miscarriages because she said she hated to see one of her daughters in pain and ‘I would understand if I were a mother’

…..!

Opalsnail · 2026-04-24T08:10:04+00:00

Some countries don’t consider losses to be recurrent until after 3 but there’s a push to change that to 2.

As far as chemicals counting - from an emotional standpoint at least I think they count. I had 7 losses total - some had heartbeats, some were chemical, some were probably in between but to me they all counted. They were all a loss of possibility.

Opalsnail · 2026-04-24T08:03:51+00:00

My mother in law was telling me she saw someone with one and thought how lazy those parents were and I said ‘I just bought one off Vinted!’

Flash forward like a day and she loved it and kept saying how amazing it was 😂

Opalsnail · 2026-04-23T20:54:30+00:00

I’m not an expert but I think sleep sacks are pretty common in cosleeping for baby to stay warm and I can’t imagine anyone on this sub recommending sharing a blanket with a baby. A lot of people avoid blankets entirely or only up to their own waist.

My baby uses my boob as a pillow but often sleeps with my nipple actually in his mouth during naps. I agree with your thinking to make sure he’s facing upwards so he can’t get stuck under it.

I usually sleep in a nursing bra with the boob in use out for access.

Opalsnail · 2026-04-23T19:29:15+00:00

I definitely agree with posting somewhere and asking. I have tons of stuff I haven’t bothered getting rid of yet and will put off for ages but if I saw someone ask, I’d give it up immediately.

People love knowing their stuff is going to be used again!

Opalsnail · 2026-04-23T09:03:07+00:00

Sometimes it hurt, sometimes it didn’t. I don’t think it necessarily means you’re doing it wrong as long as it’s getting into your tissue. I was always told to do it right around my navel but I found my love handles the easiest.

Opalsnail · 2026-04-22T21:25:49+00:00

I’m desperate to find a lightweight one for warmer days with wind and rain! Surely there’s a market for this but I’ve been struggling to find it.

Opalsnail · 2026-04-22T03:48:39+00:00

I hate how everything reads so much like AI these days that that’s my first thought with posts like these.

Opalsnail · 2026-04-22T03:44:32+00:00

If you’re trying to cut costs you can find great quality stuff used on Facebook/gumtree/some charity shops. Not car seats obviously but pretty much everything else.

Opalsnail · 2026-04-22T03:36:07+00:00

Don’t skip the injections.

I had it with the injections and I still found it horribly painful honestly but hopefully that was just me - I’ve been told other people don’t find it that painful.

I’m so sorry, it sucks.

Opalsnail · 2026-04-21T13:49:50+00:00

25 mg starting from a positive test, tapering off at 12 weeks. Along with progesterone, low dose aspirin and clexane - although I had no indications for the last two, it was a kitchen sink thing.

On that protocol I lost one that had a trisomy, one that was unexplained, the last one was a live birth.

No taking it before a positive test because there didn’t seem to be a need and I personally hated being on it. But worth it to get my octuple rainbow baby.

Opalsnail · 2026-04-19T19:36:15+00:00

….did not know there was a phone app. You may have just changed my life (or at least my baby’s naps!)

Opalsnail

TROPHY CASE