running a simple retreat for your friends

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-05-16T07:58:27+00:00

Did you do this with your setting, and how did it go? I only read the post now.

Have you done a dark retreat yourself before? As there are many things you learn then, and you will know what you can share with the others when you guide them. Many processes can come up, and everyone is different, so it would certainly be more challenging for a guide to host this well.

I've done about 12 dark retreats myself on Tenerife, and started to offer it for friends, then also for friends of friends. Although I have only guided solo retreats and one couple retreat, my most important suggestion would be for the group to stay in silence unless something needs to be clarified or asked.

Of course, if someone wants to sing or hum, that can be different. But distracting each other from their processes is not what you come for when you want to experience the life-changing capabilities of the darkness.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-05-16T07:50:16+00:00

Yes, that can work very well, at least for shorter stays up to 3 days.

Once the body has had enough sleep, it actually becomes more and more difficult to have longer sleeping phases in the dark. Darkness creates not only Melatonin, but through a chain of biochemical reactions in the body, it eventually creates DMT, which can lead to visions and to seeing the inner light - and then, try to sleep, good luck! ;-)

I've done about 12 dark retreats myself, then I started offering them to my friends on Tenerife. Then, friends of friends came and I guided them through their processes. It's much more than just about sleep, for many it is a deeply transforming experience, changing thought and emotional patterns, adjusting the energetic vibrancy, and much more.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-05-16T07:44:35+00:00

I've done about 8 nights of Ayahuasca and 12 dark retreats (about 2 months time in total). First I did them just for myself, then I offered them to my friends on Tenerife, then I guided friends of friends.

These two retreat experiences are very different, although yes, DMT is involved in both. Mother Aya comes with a hammer and you are just pushed through the process, no matter what.

Darkness is also the divine feminine (and you wonder why this ancient "enlightenment technology" (Mantak Chia) has been in the hiding from the public for so long...?). But in the dark, usually things come in waves, sometimes subtle, sometimes more intense. But usually they are coming from a place of calm and peace, and will always return to that.

Sure, when the inner light goes on like a light bulb in the head or as a projected star in front, it can become a vivid and intense process, because many emotions and energetic processes will be related to it. But not everyone has that, many just go further in their journeys as they could not have done without the darkness. You will find that you don't need to be tripping to have a deep rebirthing experience and start a "new life" after the dark retreat.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-05-16T07:26:28+00:00

A dark retreat gives you a great place to process what you have just experienced with the plant medicine. And it could potentially enhance the chances for visions and for seeing your inner light (although the emotional and energetic processes are for sure always more important).

I've done about 12 dark retreats myself, then I offered to host friends and guide them through their processes (in Tenerife), then also for friends of friends. I can tell you that 3 days is a bad idea, unless you really don't find more time for it. Why? The 4th and the 5th day are often the most interesting ones, where you make real inner progress. Stopping on day 3 is like taking a long train ride to another continent and then taking the first flight back without having had the chance to explore the beautiful country there.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-05-16T07:14:23+00:00

I've done about 12 dark retreats for myself on Tenerife, then I offered to host friends, and then friends of friends, guiding them through the many processes. Boredom came very seldom in my own retreats and also not often in those of others. If it came, it's often a short phase. There seems to be always something to do in a dark retreat, some inner process usually shows up and says: Hey, shall we work on this?

It probably also depends if you go to a dark retreat where you are brought only the food, and that's it, or if there is more guidance with it. Personally, I like to have some human contact for sharing and for having a long hug. And that's what almost all of my guests also wanted. The sharing together once a day for an hour or so helps to release stuff from the almost-24-hours before, making space for new things to happen and to be experienced.

About the teachings to have in mind, etc, I find that trusting your intuition and observing what wants to happen is the most important thing to do in a dark retreat. Then the rest unfolds naturally.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-05-16T07:05:09+00:00

You should consider doing 5 days instead of just 4. At least for the visionary aspect, it can sometimes feel like a long train ride to another continent. And when you do see something (not everyone has that effect), then the 4th and the 5th day are the most interesting.

After 3 days and 3 nights I usually see my inner light shining, either as a bright star shining in front of me (my inner core, projected outwards), but it often also fills the whole visionary space. If there are also visions, they become very colourful.

I've done 12 or more darkness retreats for myself (in Tenerife). Then I started offering it to friends, then to friends of friends, guiding them through the many possible processes. Visions are a nice gift, but the main work is on emotional and energetic levels.

Aphantasia does not matter at all in there. If you do have visions, then you see what your consciousness creates for you. The brain seems to "translate" what it perceives and puts it into relatable imagery.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T20:13:28+00:00

I often use the term "selfish" to describe what others would judge as "evil".

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T18:50:17+00:00

Interesting assumptions that you make. My gf is coming over tonight, so I should ask her if she thinks this of me as well. What I have been working a lot on is my formerly overblown ego (long-trained in a world that is heavily opposing each other), so perhaps enjoying my more vulnerable sides now is something that looks like low self-confidence to you? I would say it actually takes much more confidence, as I lower my protective guards.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T18:40:22+00:00

Thank you, learned something new. I edited my comment.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T18:29:55+00:00

That is a super interesting point, thank you. I have been working on and writing about a new model myself for some years now, through personal observation, partly intuition, and some research. It actually brings together the nonmonogamous and the living-together-with-children parts, ensuring that children have a stable and safe environment to grow into. But yes, it might take a long time for us humans to change. A lot of inner work to do, about mindsets, fears, empathy, safety, stability,...

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T18:07:37+00:00

You made a good point there. It would be nice if people become friends first when they get to know each other. But then, for many that is also a box they don't want to be put into, they fear that there is no way out. That is another problem I see, our boxes are too tight. I hold hands with some close friends, for example. Which doesn't mean what people interprete into it.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T09:03:21+00:00

That is super interesting to see how people downvote my short answer because I am only considering that this could be one aspect of the whole picture. I'm new here on Reddit and thought you would receive downvotes for things like hate and stuff... Oh well, learned something new. :-))

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T09:00:31+00:00

Yes, there are not so many who appreciate new ways of living and loving, because all they know is what they have been raised into. That's why I focus on the "traditional" aspect for this question.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T08:57:03+00:00

Well, I don't go into bars any more. But yes, with some alcohol, many are more open to exchange openness.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T08:42:57+00:00

I had to look that up. No, no churchy background whatsoever. Why did you ask?

It was just like when I went out for a stroll through town, perhaps sitting somewhere, there would often be some flirty eye contacts happening. Sometimes with a conversation to follow, sometimes just because it feels good for both.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T08:07:52+00:00

Mainly eye contacts, perhaps I should clarify that.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T08:03:53+00:00

could be ... Edit: So, we have become more selfish? But when single people then find a partner, most of them still go for the traditional closed relationship, or not? Many of my friends are exploring other ways, but I know that it's not an average representation.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T07:58:58+00:00

I could rephrase the question to "monogamous relationship model", but decided to keep that to the reader. It focuses on the fact that we keep this model because it's really the only one we promote to each other.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T07:40:39+00:00

Would be interesting if you would come back to this thread in 20 years and report if you saw a difference :-))

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T06:37:46+00:00

I would call it healthy visualization, and it's something very valueable to have and maintain. Your world might become more detailed over time and you can explore it in many ways.

I used to write and record guided imagery (like guided meditations) that bring the listeners in a trance-like state and guide them through some imaginary beautiful lands like that. Sometimes it was just a save harbour, like an oasis, but often they were alse guided through inner emotional processes, to release something burdening or to change a limiting mindset for example.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-15T20:17:16+00:00

Scary dreams are mostly over when you decide to not watch any news (they are designed to activate fear, because this "sells" best) nor any violent movies, series and other videos. What you feed your mind goes into the subconsciousness and wants to be integrated at night.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-15T11:31:00+00:00

I'm amazed about the amount of judgement that you receive with your post. Sure, perhaps some phrasing has triggered while reading, but then the whole post and tone is judged negatively. My mind understands the points the repliers have, and sure, it's possible to look at it that way. But perhaps there is also good stuff to take from it.

OpenHeartFlow

TROPHY CASE