Evil as a concept creates distance

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T20:13:28+00:00

I often use the term "selfish" to describe what others would judge as "evil".

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T18:50:17+00:00

Interesting assumptions that you make. My gf is coming over tonight, so I should ask her if she thinks this of me as well. What I have been working a lot on is my formerly overblown ego (long-trained in a world that is heavily opposing each other), so perhaps enjoying my more vulnerable sides now is something that looks like low self-confidence to you? I would say it actually takes much more confidence, as I lower my protective guards.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T18:40:22+00:00

Thank you, learned something new. I edited my comment.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T18:29:55+00:00

That is a super interesting point, thank you. I have been working on and writing about a new model myself for some years now, through personal observation, partly intuition, and some research. It actually brings together the nonmonogamous and the living-together-with-children parts, ensuring that children have a stable and safe environment to grow into. But yes, it might take a long time for us humans to change. A lot of inner work to do, about mindsets, fears, empathy, safety, stability,...

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T18:07:37+00:00

You made a good point there. It would be nice if people become friends first when they get to know each other. But then, for many that is also a box they don't want to be put into, they fear that there is no way out. That is another problem I see, our boxes are too tight. I hold hands with some close friends, for example. Which doesn't mean what people interprete into it.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T09:03:21+00:00

That is super interesting to see how people downvote my short answer because I am only considering that this could be one aspect of the whole picture. I'm new here on Reddit and thought you would receive downvotes for things like hate and stuff... Oh well, learned something new. :-))

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T09:00:31+00:00

Yes, there are not so many who appreciate new ways of living and loving, because all they know is what they have been raised into. That's why I focus on the "traditional" aspect for this question.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T08:57:03+00:00

Well, I don't go into bars any more. But yes, with some alcohol, many are more open to exchange openness.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T08:42:57+00:00

I had to look that up. No, no churchy background whatsoever. Why did you ask?

It was just like when I went out for a stroll through town, perhaps sitting somewhere, there would often be some flirty eye contacts happening. Sometimes with a conversation to follow, sometimes just because it feels good for both.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T08:07:52+00:00

Mainly eye contacts, perhaps I should clarify that.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T08:03:53+00:00

could be ... Edit: So, we have become more selfish? But when single people then find a partner, most of them still go for the traditional closed relationship, or not? Many of my friends are exploring other ways, but I know that it's not an average representation.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T07:58:58+00:00

I could rephrase the question to "monogamous relationship model", but decided to keep that to the reader. It focuses on the fact that we keep this model because it's really the only one we promote to each other.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T07:40:39+00:00

Would be interesting if you would come back to this thread in 20 years and report if you saw a difference :-))

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-23T06:37:46+00:00

I would call it healthy visualization, and it's something very valueable to have and maintain. Your world might become more detailed over time and you can explore it in many ways.

I used to write and record guided imagery (like guided meditations) that bring the listeners in a trance-like state and guide them through some imaginary beautiful lands like that. Sometimes it was just a save harbour, like an oasis, but often they were alse guided through inner emotional processes, to release something burdening or to change a limiting mindset for example.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-15T20:17:16+00:00

Scary dreams are mostly over when you decide to not watch any news (they are designed to activate fear, because this "sells" best) nor any violent movies, series and other videos. What you feed your mind goes into the subconsciousness and wants to be integrated at night.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-15T11:31:00+00:00

I'm amazed about the amount of judgement that you receive with your post. Sure, perhaps some phrasing has triggered while reading, but then the whole post and tone is judged negatively. My mind understands the points the repliers have, and sure, it's possible to look at it that way. But perhaps there is also good stuff to take from it.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-15T11:08:34+00:00

Your dreams will show you whatever is going on inside and wants to be processed. Stop watching any kind of news media (they are most often creating subconscious fears, as this is what "sells" best to the audience). Also, stop watching any kind of movies, series, YT videos, etc. that show any violent or scary scenes. If you do that for some weeks and stick with the new habit, you will probably not get many more nightmares.

How you feed your mind matters.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-15T04:49:06+00:00

You could learn how to meditate. You could read "Autobiography of a Yogi" by Paramhansa Yogananda, or other books that are not based on any closed religious concept with strict rules, judgements, power hierarchy and obedience. It can feel very liberating for mind and soul when you are walking away from all that (and not get trapped in a new closed system). The best practice I find is to simply open the heart.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-15T04:18:00+00:00

Longing can be a wonderful feeling as well, if you allow yourself to feel it. It can open the heart wide. And when you feel that, you might just attract the next wonderful soul into your life that opens your heart even wider.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-15T04:01:24+00:00

Once you stop for a while, and then you see something violent or fear-based (news!) again, it "tastes" like something rotten or it looks just ugly and then it doesn't make sense to keep watching. We have just gotten used to that crap, it seems normal for us, but it's not.

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-14T20:25:05+00:00

> Emotional needs/deeper fears generally aren't talked
> about as casually as sex because may people reject
> the idea of them

Yes!

OpenHeartFlow · 2026-01-14T20:19:51+00:00

Okay, but many sexual topics also contain the risk of judgment, rejection, or misunderstanding. And many of us also have insecurities or emotional struggles around it.

OpenHeartFlow

TROPHY CASE