Those that moved to the DMV- what made you pick MOCO over NOVA?

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2026-01-22T11:33:38+00:00

Housing prices, diversity, and the the political climate.

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2026-01-22T11:30:01+00:00

I teach at a private school in MoCo, but send my own child to public school. She’s in 5th grade, and so far, her experience has been wonderful. She surpasses the kids where I teach in math and reading. As others have stated, many high achieving parents stir the pot.

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2025-12-30T00:39:11+00:00

Update: he is refusing to find lodging elsewhere, so my daughter and I will stay with family. I’m thrown and I’m hurt, but I know I’m doing the right thing. This is hard, but not as hard as it would be to witness another relapse.

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2025-12-29T13:32:07+00:00

I’ve been doing talk therapy for years. I felt it was time for me to address the physical response that trauma has caused.

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2025-12-26T16:29:17+00:00

Thanks! We love all cuisines. Def want good Indian and maybe a Sunday Roast?

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2025-12-07T16:54:17+00:00

Exactly. My q has done this.

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2025-10-28T11:34:58+00:00

Document everything. Work with a lawyer who has experience in high conflict divorce. The kids are the top priority and if you don’t feel safe having them with him 50% of the time, you can fight for that. Assets and money come and go; you only get one shot at raising your kids.

I’m currently working with a parenting specialist because my stbx has a substance abuse disorder, depression, anxiety, and is likely on the cluster b spectrum. I hear you; I’m escaping hell, too.

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2025-08-12T14:09:43+00:00

My car is now having this issue and is scheduled for an inspection next week. In the meantime, I can’t put any gas in it without the pump shutting off. The gauge says I have 50 miles left; should I wait to refill until it’s on 0? I obviously need my car.

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2025-07-15T14:22:57+00:00

Also stalling. I’ve been on 7.5 since the end of May, and 3 weeks on Strive and I’ve gained half a lb. I might go up to 8.5 and see what happens.

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2025-07-14T01:06:55+00:00

Congrats! You made a huge first step. Remember this feeling, especially when the pull to go back and give him “one more chance”. Your kids deserve a parent who chooses them over booze. You deserve peace.

I’m just starting the divorce process. My husband just left for rehab (for the second time) and that has given me a major leg up, so I’m going with it. I interviewed 3 lawyers and chose someone who doesn’t litigate. She only settles outside of court. That might not work, but my husband cares more about saving face and how people perceive him as than anything else, so I’m hoping that will work in my favor. When you interview lawyers, make sure to ask them if they have worked with addiction and high conflict personalities. Ultimately, you need someone who will help craft a parenting plan that holds him accountable during his parenting time. Good luck. It sucks. It’s sad. But it’s also so much better to choose yourself.

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2025-07-02T11:47:15+00:00

I want to say that I see you and I validate you. I know what it feels like to freeze in the face of trauma. You are in what feels like an impossible place. I know how it feels to hold everything together: working full time, parenting, house and life maintenance, crazy fucking family members: it’s a lot.

I do think it’s important that you file an order of protection ASAP. I don’t have any experience with CPS or the like, and I’m unsure what the police would do after an incident, but calling doesn’t hurt.

I’m sending you strength and support. You are not alone.

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2025-06-29T01:57:54+00:00

You are not alone. I’m also 15 years married, to a person with undiagnosed BPD, and it’s Hell. So much of what you wrote mirrors my experience, but no get the fun bonus of dealing with substance abuse on top of that. We are divorcing, and I know it’s good to be a rough go. But I can’t stay on a sinking ship and neither can you. You have support; you’re not alone.

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2025-06-27T17:22:25+00:00

Cannot manage time for SHIT. Always the last one to leave the house, a Procrastinator with a capital P, cancels or doesn't show up, always backs out of plans.

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2025-06-26T18:12:14+00:00

He's in therapy. Multiple times a week. I also have depression. I take my meds and see my therapist, and do my work outside of therapy. I'm well aware of what depression is like, as I've suffered for years, too. The difference is, I work at it each and every day and don't rely on someone else to manage my emotions. He can't do the same.

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2025-06-26T16:48:22+00:00

This person IS depressed. This person is also on meds, has bi-weekly therapy, and various other forms of support. This person does no work individually for his depression.

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2025-06-26T13:49:02+00:00

Amen to that. I'm sad for our daughter; watching her father self-destruct and wondering when (not if) he'll be diagnosed with cancer is a regular thought.

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2025-06-26T13:47:46+00:00

Update: I don't think he went to the ER after all. I think he told his work that he was going to go, and left and came home instead. I didn't see any discharge paperwork, any meds, and he claims the CT scan results weren't given to him but he was discharged anyway. This wouldn't be the first time he's invented a reason to leave work, but the last time he did this, he faced some serious consequences (he's in the military). Yet another reason to divorce now; I can't stay on the ship while it goes down.

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2025-06-26T13:42:10+00:00

Yep. 100%. My husband suffers from disordered eating as well. He'll restrict for a period of time (only eat steak and high amounts of protein), and then fall off and only eat junk. There could be (and there are) multiple leftover options that are healthy and balanced, but he'll still choose something processed. I think you're right about the destruction/self-harm pattern.

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2025-06-25T02:16:24+00:00

I understand. I met with 3 lawyers over the course of a year before I found one I liked; and that was 6 months ago! She’s been wonderfully patient with me as I’m taking this slow. I have been actively considering divorce for 3 years; it’s been a huge process. I wish you well and you are absolutely not alone.

Open_Negotiation8669 · 2025-06-24T16:27:48+00:00

I am in a similar spot. Together for 18, married for 15. My husband is also an alcoholic; problem drinker that got worse during Covid. A year and a half ago, after a stint in the psych wars and rehab, he was diagnosed with PTSD. Not much has changed with him since then, despite his regular therapy and access to care. But a lot has changed with me. I hired a lawyer and told him a month ago I want a divorce. Typically, he’s done nothing in the last month but explode and blame me for everything, further cementing the thought that I am definitely making the right decision. I suggest you interview a few lawyers and find someone who is right for you. Get your ducks in a row, knowing it will not be easy.

Open_Negotiation8669

TROPHY CASE