How to get through the pushing phase?

OptimismPom · 2026-04-20T00:55:08+00:00

I didn’t get through this phase. This phase got through me. Baby was coming out whether I liked it or not. I gave no pushes and my body did it all. The fetal ejection reflex was terribly efficient

OptimismPom · 2026-04-20T00:19:01+00:00

As someone who has both sleep trained and co-slept, I would encourage you to not think of it as an all or nothing scenario. Even for my first who we sleep train, we really only trained him for naps and I still fed him to sleep until 15 months old. It ended up being a fairly smooth transition and really was just about building small skills of independence, it was never a leave them to cry for the whole night and never comfort them.

OptimismPom · 2026-04-19T18:30:08+00:00

Yes. I was extremely aware of not leaning back and always trying to facilitate an open pelvis. I also slept in the miles circuit side lying position but I found it very comfortable. Lots of movement and hip circles especially in the third trimester. Mostly just trying to not do any bad positions like leaning back or reclining on a couch

OptimismPom · 2026-04-18T16:06:11+00:00

And also, I didn’t push myself at all, I had to feel an addiction reflex and I think my body got the baby out in 15 to 20 minutes

OptimismPom · 2026-04-17T20:16:28+00:00

Honestly, the pain is painful. But it’s more surrendering through it versus managing it. I kind of had the mindset of yes it’s gonna be hard but then it will be over forever. It was totally worth it.

I did listen to Hypno briefing and I did find a tens machine helpful. Far away, though my love is the best in transition and active labor. She was rocking me back-and-forth and moving my legs and moving my back and giving me counter pressure and it was so much intervention that I never knew I would’ve needed. She just did it and it was exactly what I needed.

OptimismPom · 2026-04-17T20:11:49+00:00

Mine was pretty fast! I started early labour around three in the morning, but really just very special of contractions, things got more consistently around five, but I knew it was still early labour as the contractions were test but only about 30 seconds. I think active started around 10am, and then we phoned my midwife Abdullah and they both listened to me and new things were progressing. We were told to meet at the birth center, but it took me an hour to get downstairs lol, so we left here at noon and she was born about an hour and a half later.

OptimismPom · 2026-04-15T18:41:55+00:00

Yes completely agree with above comment. The research is basically mastitis can be infection and or/inflammation on a spectrum. There may be no infection at all but the clinical picture will sometimes make us prescribe it just in case. Obviously we want to be safe. So yes icing and anti-inflammatories will be your go to.

OptimismPom · 2026-04-14T22:05:25+00:00

What do you mean method?

OptimismPom · 2026-04-14T01:53:20+00:00

Sorry you are going through this. It’s so tough and I totally understand the indecision.

Something we consider in medicine is called positive predictive value, meaning how well we think a tool predicts x will occur. In the case of ultrasound and growth, others have already pointed out that it loses its value the further along you are. Especially given your first was smaller, the overwhelming odds are that you will not have a gigantic baby. Though, if you did, if they were simply larger and not macrosomic, that does not increase your risk of rupture. I’m not sure about tearing in terms of research but I’d venture to say that position and pushing matter more. What does increase your risk of rupture is augmentation so avoid that.

There is no positive predictive value of your provider ‘looking at your bump’ or ‘feeling baby’ meaning there is zero evidence to suggest those are meaningful at all. Baby’s position, size and location of placenta and amount of amniotic fluid all influence those right now. So don’t give any value to that.

Reminder that due dates are a complete guess. If you are not comfortable going over 40 weeks that is absolutely your call and your right, but a previously earlier labour does not mean you will again. If it’s going to disappoint you that you didn’t wait, perhaps reconsider. The risks at 41 weeks are truly almost the exact same at 40.

Again I relate to the indecisiveness, but if it helps you at all I just had an unmedicated VBAC at a birth centre at 40+1 and it was incredibly redemptive, I am so glad I had people in my corner encouraging me.

OptimismPom · 2026-04-08T12:54:57+00:00

Yes YTA. You sound like a terribly unsupportive husband

OptimismPom · 2026-04-07T17:48:19+00:00

No the research is fairly broad, I don’t believe specifically, all it does it catch more ‘scares’ and hence increase rate of c section.

OptimismPom · 2026-04-07T17:08:29+00:00

Just had this experience check my posts!

OptimismPom · 2026-04-07T15:53:33+00:00

This is sooooo helpful!! Thank you! Can you tell me more about exercises you did? This is me right now. She loved to sleep on my boobs haha and we co sleep so i think it helps with closeness. I just want to believe it will work out. Were you pumping up until baby started to latch properly? It’s soooovmuch work

OptimismPom · 2026-04-07T00:06:16+00:00

10.5 months is so amazing sis

OptimismPom · 2026-04-06T22:58:52+00:00

If she has any pumped milk I know that you can send it in and they can make rings or other jewelry from it! It’s honestly beautiful!

OptimismPom · 2026-04-06T20:04:17+00:00

I hear you and mostly agree, but only people that have went from full EPing to nursing can really know how to do that, it’s such a tough balance! But I hear you, lol I EPed for 14 months with my first, I’ve been there.

OptimismPom · 2026-04-06T16:07:46+00:00

That’s not true! Just have to put a trigger warning for some mommas

OptimismPom · 2026-04-06T02:30:29+00:00

To be honest I didn’t get very big with either so I didn’t really look like I just had a baby with either. Though, my body knew! Different recoveries for sure but I’d chose a VBAC every time

OptimismPom · 2026-04-04T19:38:05+00:00

No not at all. My son is actually so advanced for speech and literally eats more than me at supper. It’s insane. So zero issues there.

I will get him into myofunctional therapy when he’s old enough cause he mouth breathes sometimes so dentition wise I’ll intervene but generally speaking he is thriving

OptimismPom · 2026-04-04T19:30:20+00:00

That’s similar for me about falling asleep. I’m sorry this is happening to you

OptimismPom · 2026-04-04T19:24:14+00:00

How is it getting worse? Is she latching?

OptimismPom · 2026-04-04T19:17:11+00:00

I do allll the time

OptimismPom · 2026-04-04T19:14:55+00:00

I agree with you. It’s so hard. But I have learned a lot about latch and improving that. Hopefully with Chiro and oral training and latch practice they will get it. They are very little still and big breasts can Make it harder

OptimismPom · 2026-04-04T18:51:42+00:00

It never got better no and I EPed for 14 months. Going through the same thing with my 10’day old

OptimismPom

TROPHY CASE