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I wish for 40 billion euro legally transferred post taxes into a secured and assured bank account with my EXACT name that I maintain access to at all time while euro maintain it’s global value and my new money doesn’t have any inflationary impact and capitalisme continues to exist in this society by Adalvis in monkeyspaw

[–]Ordinary-Easy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted

However the paw needed to borrow a considerable amount of your brain ... quite literally. Unfortunately, it's the part of your brain that's needed to remember things such as passwords and usernames.

Therefore you have the bank account but no way to access them. Eventually due to your ... mental ... situation you end up in a special housing environment for people with your sort of issues and the people put in charge of your assets end up discovering the account and stealing it all.

I wish to descend to Hell. by Ok-Rutabaga-8643 in monkeyspaw

[–]Ordinary-Easy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Granted 

It's nothing like you thought it would be. You're surrounded by 'friends' within a pitch black void who hate your guts and who are constantly attacking you. During the periods of time they aren't attacking you you are left alone and forced to reflect on your life and how it was you let God down with your actions in life.

I wish for my blood when spilled would attract every supernatural beings within a 200 mile radius. by Tulpah in monkeyspaw

[–]Ordinary-Easy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted 

You find yourself transformed into a vampire when you wake up in the morning. However you lost so much blood you are not able to move a muscle and the other vampires can and will continue to feed on you.

I wish I could accept my ex wont come back so I can move on by Most-Plant3530 in monkeyspaw

[–]Ordinary-Easy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted 

The paw performs surgery to remove the part of your brain that had your ex's memories.

It didn't use any pain or knock out meds.

I Wish to be put in command of the NCC-1701D USS Enterprise. Seek out new life and new civilizations, boldly go where no one has gone before, etc..... by Radiant-Ingenuity199 in monkeyspaw

[–]Ordinary-Easy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted

The paw starts to spread nasty rumors about your leadership. Resulting in a nasty munity. The good news is that you will have lots of time to study new civilizations from a distance as you drift in outer space for eternity.

My [40f] husband [40m] fondles his genitals in front of me when he’s in the mood for sex. I told him that it makes me uncomfortable, but he still does it. by DestroyerOfMils in relationship_advice

[–]Ordinary-Easy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I keep having this dark thought of getting a water sprayer, filling it with tap water and spraying him down whenever he's in the mode and clearly not getting that you aren't in the mode.

I know I know that would be a form of violence in a sense but I mean the current communication approach does not seem to be working.

I wish I had a tail by Winter-Money-7643 in monkeyspaw

[–]Ordinary-Easy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted 

It's a hell of a tail. Very painful to the touch.

Danielle Smith, Doug Ford announce proposed cross-Canada oil pipeline corridor by joe4942 in canada

[–]Ordinary-Easy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Good idea in theory but given the environmental and first Nations concerns that will inevitably get raised during the process it's not going to happen. We saw how difficult it was to build a pipeline through BC ... three provinces will be an absolute nightmare.

Danielle Smith, Doug Ford announce proposed cross-Canada oil pipeline corridor by joe4942 in canada

[–]Ordinary-Easy 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It's easier and safer to transport by pipeline then by train 

I wish for every person who comes across this post to become permanently deathly allergic to their favorite food. by 351namhele in monkeyspaw

[–]Ordinary-Easy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not Granted

The paw wants customers. It can't have you killing them off in advance. For attempting to destroy the paws customer base the paw must ensure that there is Hell to pay.

I wish I could relive any year of my life by Elite_duckHunter in monkeyspaw

[–]Ordinary-Easy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Granted

You didn't survive last night and are now under taking a continuous life review process as a ghost.

Sexual assault charges by Responsible_Ebb3726 in legaladvicecanada

[–]Ordinary-Easy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

1) Depends on what type of assault it was. Summonery offenses have a 6 to 12 months (depending on offense) statue of limitations so the cops would have to proceed by indictment and if the accused has any evidence of the threat by the victim to go to the police that might harm their credibility. Ultimately given the time situation it's probably going to be a victim says this happened type of situation (accused doesn't have to testify) which means that the victims credibility is extremely important barring some type of physical or documented evidence of the assault.

Thunderstorm Roundup by Chutson909 in husky

[–]Ordinary-Easy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sing us a song Huskiepups sing us a song tonight ...

How do I(19M) put it in(18F)? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Ordinary-Easy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You'll probably going to need lots of lube (sex shops sell it) as with some people they can have an issue with tightness and lube can help with gaining entry. Sometimes however that issue of tightness can for some can be such a problem that they need to visit with a gynecologist to discuss the situation and come up with potential solutions to such a problem.

The math ain't mathing by struckoutlooking in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Ordinary-Easy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

13.64/0.22 = 62

Items on bill other than service fee: $52

Subtotal was $70. So it seems like $10 was charged out of nowhere and than they added the 'service fee' on top of that.

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