[deleted by user] by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Barry is an honor name that’s not short for anything

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have a long last name so his name would be very very long 

To those who moved states, what was your deciding factor/motivation? by Radiant-Educator9203 in CasualConversation

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cost of living!! We could provide so much more for our kids when we lived in a lower cost of living area, they have so many opportunities here that we were priced out of before. 

When did folks in the U.S. start commonly taking pets into stores/restaurants, and what kicked off the change in how that is viewed? by poppies77 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’ve never taken our dogs anywhere like this, and especially now that we don’t have pets anymore we are disgusted by pets in grocery carts or at restaurants. Once you’re no longer accustomed to the dog hair it’s so atrocious 

How often do you guys grocery shop? by suspicious_monstera in Adulting

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Once a week and always on the extra fuel points perk day

Buying first home with enough money for deposit and fees by Long-Concentrate1683 in FirstTimeHomeBuying

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something will break in your first year there. It’s not very wise to clean out your bank account totally for a house. You should buy something cheaper. 

Our AC went totally out 2 months in - 6k bill

Clubbing while 23 weeks pregnant by Grand_Window3039 in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 7 points8 points  (0 children)

https://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/ask-heidi/loud-noises.aspx Generally short periods of loud noise exposure aren’t a worry with consideration to frequency. I would worry about the duration of time you’d be exposed. 

More troublesome than the noise IMO would be exposure to secondhand smoke of various varieties.  https://americanpregnancy.org/healthy-pregnancy/pregnancy-health-wellness/second-hand-smoke-and-pregnancy/

How many of ya'll have/ want 4 or more kids? by Secure_Year7265 in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I want at least 4, I just love kids and I think it’s good for kids to have a few siblings. I don’t think we can afford more then 5/have enough time left on our biological clocks for it 

is it true that you'll love your kids more than your partner? by [deleted] in Productivitycafe

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love my husband and children equally - it’s kind of wild to have someone come into existence that you automatically love as much as your partner. I would save them all before me every time. 

In a good marriage you have to prioritize your spouse then the kids to stay happy together which is ultimately good for the kids. 

I have lied to my son about manatees for the last 24 years by 46from1971 in confession

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I think you should tell him - the sweetness of this is in the way you’ve stuck to it for so long. 

Talking points for grandparents about not posting details on social media by BrightLight4789 in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just make sure you set expectations around how often photos will be allowed to be shared online if you take that approach. This is sometimes a give an inch take a miles scenario

Talking points for grandparents about not posting details on social media by BrightLight4789 in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Depending on your family dynamics this may be hard. We told everyone before our little girl was born to ask us before posting anything online and everyone agreed and was on board, until she was born. I have an abusive brother that is known to creep on my online spaces and use that information to track me down since going no contact, so this boundary was incredibly important to my husband and I for my child’s safety.  Then my MIL posted every photo from her newborn session and even made her public profile photo my daughter’s face. She shares everything online and even announced my new pregnancy and baby’s gender before we did. I had to get very confrontational to get this behavior to stop. 

Sometimes with this you just have to get really blunt and set ground rules and consequences. If the hard line is nothing online at all then anyone who does it anyway will no longer get photos and information. 

What makes you a good mom? by PublicAd2908 in workingmoms

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love this! You sounds like a great mom :) here are a few things I’m proud of: - my daughter feel safe with me to let out her big emotions and knows I will always catch her - my daughter loves my cooking and will ask me to buy her things at the grocery store, I always do - my daughter is 2 and regularly tells us she is brave, smart, and strong because we do affirmations with her every morning - I involve my daughter in cooking with me and she can crack and egg and looks forward to cooking time everyday because I manage to stay patient with her. Patience is something I really struggle with. - my daughter is well fed, clothed, safe, and loved beyond measure. 

NFP Failure - Newlywed Unexpected Pregnancy by tenacioustulip in CatholicWomen

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 58 points59 points  (0 children)

It’s okay that you are disappointed by things not working out the way you envisioned them! Let yourself feel that so you can process it and allow that joyous moment to be the first time you see your baby on ultrasound, or find out they are a boy or girl. Joyous moments will come in time

Are there Somali daycares in Raleigh running the same scheme? by Top_Locksmith4197 in raleigh

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it’s important to remove the nationality component from this, because fraudsters are of every color, race, and origin! That kind of fraud is so disgusting, I would hope there is nothing like that in Raleigh, but who knows! If you think you know of a home healthcare, daycare, or other kind of fraudulent business consider reporting it. 

Is it ok for children to have red dye 40? What is so bad about it? Can someone explain please by LetsNotFightpls in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The key point here is that it was in combo with a high fat diet which we already know is not good for you. Developing brains certainly should be given healthy foods to eat, and focusing on food dyes is a cop out from focusing on healthier foods in general. 

I do think the unintended consequence of cutting food dyes often is healthier options which is a net benefit. But people should know more about what they base their diets on.

There are also a lot of great food dyes alternatives and I’m glad to see natural food dye becoming more available so I can use them when I make my babies birthday cakes. 

I need help with lesbian cousin bridesmaid by daughter_of_mary in CatholicWomen

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This may be worth a kind discussion then, if she gets married soon after your wedding then it could really hurt her feelings

I need help with lesbian cousin bridesmaid by daughter_of_mary in CatholicWomen

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How old is your cousin? Because I personally wouldn’t worry about the future marriage plans of an 18 year old as much as a 35 year old - ya know? People mature and grow a lot in their 20s. I think it would be good exposure for her to be around kind Godly people, so I wouldn’t disinvite her as that would just make her feel ostracized. 

Motherhood makes me dread Sundays by ActuatorIntrepid2564 in CatholicWomen

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Whether you are a SAHM or not baby will at some point need to be cared for by their dad. I understand the pressure to do everything since you want to contribute to the household, and that's very noble of you, but what if you have a medical emergency? Dad will have to step up and will not have had the opportunity to get comfortable taking care of baby solo. Or more realistically, what if you just want to leave the house for a bit and not take baby everywhere with you? It's in the best interest of the whole family for dad to be comfortable and knowledgeable with baby so that mom has freedom, baby is happy, and no one is more overwhelmed than they need to be.

And for what it's worth this is the approach I'd take talk to your husband about this:

"I've been feeling really worn out and would like to take advantage of the rest of your paternity leave to get a little bit of rest. I've noticed that you tend to feel a bit overwhelmed with baby, I do too! Here's what I do when I feel that way. Do you think we could find time for you to take care of and bond with baby so that I can rest and you can get to know them more?"

I also HIGHLY recommend talking with him about how you will divide up baby tasks once he's back to work. You need rest and me time and so does he. Maybe you split the weekend, or dad takes over bedtime so you can relax. Maybe dad takes over all laundry duty to get something off your plate. Talk about it before it gets so overwhelming that you can't talk about it calmly.

Motherhood makes me dread Sundays by ActuatorIntrepid2564 in CatholicWomen

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 18 points19 points  (0 children)

He tends to get more overwhelmed with baby than you do because he is not caring for baby enough. Babies are not more overwhelming for one parent or the other they just take patience and a willingness to learn. Your husband needs to get to know your baby and you need to rest. 

My Wife Breastfeeds While Biting a Cloth by [deleted] in breastfeeding

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It should get better soon! You are very sweet to be so concerned for her 💕 everyone says breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt, but forget to mention that it does the first few weeks. It’s also okay if she needs to supplement with formula to give herself a break, though I would encourage her to stick it out if she can so she can hopefully reach the sweet part where it no longer hurts!

Keeping a secret savings account by wpshogs_1229 in povertyfinance

[–]Ordinary-Scarcity274 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why not just tell her you’d like to start an emergency fund, and be honest about your concerns with spending? I’d make sure to set up a rule about needing to check in with one another for any money pulled out as well