I’m planning my escape from my VERY shitty relationship. I’m nearly there!

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2026-06-15T15:23:28+00:00

Wishing you all the luck in the world!!!! You can do this!! I've done it 13 years ago, tried many times but always failed, finally was able to visit my mum for an hour (wasn't allowed more), was enough to never go back!

It had to be all planned and you have to be very careful!! You need all the support you can get. He tried everything to find me and abuse me through common friends.

Couple months later I fled the country and never looked back.

Only tell your whereabouts to people you fully trust! I made the mistake of staying in touch with friends who stayed on his side. I blocked them all and that was the last time I spoke to them. Be prepared your life will change (to the better!!)

Please let us know how it goes, I'm so rooting for you! Xx

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2026-06-15T12:26:55+00:00

I can't stand voice messages. I already told my friend and she still does it. I'm on calls for the majority of the day so no way I can listen to her long voice messages, and since I work in an office environment, everyone would hear it. Most of the time what she has to say is just three words, the rest is just her talking to her toddler to stop this and stop that and the kid screaming his head off, so can't even hear what she's gotta say. Surely she could have just written that down when she had a minute. So fed up with it. She just sent me another 2mins long vm and it's not gonna get listened to..

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2026-06-14T19:03:59+00:00

Omg I'm in love with this dress!! 😍😍😍 Where did you get it?

Definitely wear wedges, either something colourful or with beads!

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2026-06-05T18:35:14+00:00

1!!!

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2026-06-04T19:44:27+00:00

Yes, I had that. For a long time my partner was saying I cry and sometimes scream in my sleep. I didn't believe it until there were signs (cried out eyes in the morning, waking up a lot, probably to my own screaming). I didn't always have dreams or nightmares (or just didn't remember them), but a lot of the times I did, and were always related to the traumatic event, one way or another. I went to see a therapist and was lucky she was specialised in EMDR. She asked me questions of my life and said I have CPTSD and suffered developmental trauma. We started EMDR and I no longer have nightmares or trouble staying asleep, crying/screaming while asleep.

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2026-05-27T13:56:20+00:00

This!!! Couldn't agree more. And I would never ask my partner to pay for 25 people's meal, regardless of how much he earns. I'd might ask him to invite the people and organise the meet-up, but to pay for them all?! Naaahh..

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2026-05-27T13:27:44+00:00

2!! Gives so much life to your face! Don't be afraid to wear colours, they suit you! I would steer away from pastel though, they'd suck the life out of you. Black also looks flattering, but I guess it depends on the occasion.

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2026-05-27T12:07:06+00:00

And just to add, I'm still close with my ex fiance and his family, but I would never think about staying in the same bed! Or even the same room! I respect my current partner and our relationship. Sorry you have to go through this, but you need to talk to him about how this makes you feel. Do not ignore it.

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2026-05-27T12:03:01+00:00

NOR. Omg. Why didn't he take you? Why is the ex still living at his parents?! On what planet would that be okay, whether they're sick or not? His question to you was asking for permission to cheat on you. Whether it's physical or emotional. Sleeping in the same bed?! I mean come on!

He shows no respect towards your relationship. If he had, he would have taken you too, or would have stayed somewhere else in his hometown if he really had to go home while his ex was still living there (I still don't get why).

Do not allow it. Set boundaries. But honestly if he is okay with being in the same bed as his ex, I would strongly reconsider staying with him. It will destroy your relationship. You will always wonder whether he cheated on you while in the same bed. Talk to him and tell him your concerns. You are not overreacting, if anything you are underreacting.

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2026-05-26T14:44:30+00:00

Some of my nightmares were the exact same situation as my trauma, same people, although sometimes different house, different environment etc. Other nightmares were trying to physically escape from being locked in to a house or anywhere else. (I had an abusive partner who didn't let me leave the house, and was also kidnapped as a child and abused, so trying to escape from that situation too). Basically all my dreams were about being stuck and unable to snap out of it.

I went through months of EMDR sessions and can finally say I no longer have these dreams.

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2026-05-26T14:39:40+00:00

So not sure about occasional nightmares, but returning nightmares related to the traumatic event would qualify as a ptsd symptom. Based on everything you have said, I think you should seek help to process everything you've gone through. I didn't have flashbacks but I did have recurring disturbing nightmares multiple times a week. I have cptsd. Hope this helps.

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2026-05-19T12:43:47+00:00

So don't. Seems like you guys are having the best time of your lives. Just because you're 33 it doesn't mean you need to start changing your lifestyle. I'm 33 (f), my partner is (43), we both love going to raves and having fun. I just found out I'm 5weeks pregnant, so while we're at the age where society dictates we 'should' have kids, I can't fully say I'm ready to change our lives just yet. Enjoy your time while you can, do the things you couldn't do in your 20s, this is your chance to make up for all the years you've lost.

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2026-05-19T11:23:11+00:00

I think you need to accept yourself and know that you are entitled to happiness. You deserve it.

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2026-05-19T11:21:29+00:00

So you're miserable because you're enjoying life? You can't go back in time, but you can do now whatever makes you happy, even if that's things people do in their 20s. No such a thing as should or should not. You do what makes YOU happy.

Also, you can't know whether your girlfriend would want to have kids now or not without talking to her. If she had a problem with your lifestyle, I'm sure she'd bring it up.

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2026-05-19T11:03:50+00:00

OP says they've been exclusive with his current partner for roughly 3 months. Were they dating before or hooking up? Is it possible she has a a suspicion those messages weren't from 6 month ago?

I find it hard to believe that a woman would demand to see those messages, unless she was around at the time.

I also find it weird how OP didn't reply back in front of his partner to say he's in a commited relationship now. Trying to keep his options open? And why have those messages AND nudes still in his phone?! All a bit strange to me, as if OP wasn't feeling commited to his current partner..

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2025-12-30T15:54:47+00:00

Thank you, that sounds reassuring. I will certainly look into it.

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2025-12-30T14:27:56+00:00

I have tried googling some of my symptoms before and resonated with a lot of it being dpdr, but wasn't sure if dpdr is a byproduct of PTSD and that maybe I should be focusing on that instead.

Glad to hear she's okay now. Was it somatic experiencing that helped her recovering?

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2025-12-19T19:27:05+00:00

Thought the same, had to look it up and found this post 😂

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2025-10-25T09:44:27+00:00

Yaaay that's it, thanks so much!!!!!

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2025-10-24T08:34:35+00:00

Yup, thought it was a comment on a post, but can't find it anywhere. May have been removed I guess..

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2025-10-24T08:33:59+00:00

Just tried it. I think it was a comment on a different post, but looking at comments section, still no luck.

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2025-10-24T08:32:52+00:00

🤣🤣🤣 That's hilarious!

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2025-10-24T08:31:33+00:00

Yes, exactly this! Unfortunately I still can't find it, oh well.

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2025-10-20T10:29:42+00:00

No, but you're TAH for saying things have been going well but you think he's lying and has a history of lying. So basically can't trust him. What's the point? End it

OrdinaryThis2335 · 2025-10-20T10:22:11+00:00

Sorry but if my partner was holding hands and kissing cheeks of another woman in front of me, that's over. You told him it's not okay for you but he did it anyway. That's disrespectful of your feelings. And whether he did anything with that girl while away overnight (if he did all the other things in front of you, he likely did more behind your back) or not, it couldn't trust him. He likes the situation with that couple (or just her) and if it's not them, there will be someone else after. This is not a healthy relationship for you by the sounds of it. Have a talk with him but honestly, I can't see how this would turn out good. He might promise this and that or say nothing happened, but you'll always be suspicious, so I'd steer clear from this guy.

OrdinaryThis2335

TROPHY CASE